The problem with small towns

[slakjaw]

Originally Posted by Dueller

Funny things happen tho...I went in to renew my license plate and the clerk noticed it was a 911. She said "Wait a minute...I've got something you might like." Went to the back and dug thru the sequentially numbered plates and dug out "MAD 911" to issue to me.

It has its pros and cons...

haha Thats great!

[audiman08]

Originally Posted by jyl

I have to ask - how long do you intend to stay in that small town? Is your wife's job there unique and irreplaceable? When you finish your degree, what opportunity will there be for you?

I'm a city boy. I've also spent a lot of time in a small town, my wife's hometown (probably bigger than the one you're in, though). If I were 27 and well educated and aiming toward a professional sort of career, there is no way I'd go rusticate in a small town. Earlier in life, fine, and later in life, fine too. But in your late 20s and your 30s, these are years to be advancing fast, professionally speaking, not wasting your time nibbling peanuts while you wait for the town curator to kick the bucket. Suppose you had gotten that job as curator/archivist - was that going to be professionally challenging, fulfillng, advancing, etc, and for how long?

You should step back, assess things for both you and your wife's situation, map out a plan, thinking 10+ years ahead. If the optimal decision is to stay where you are, joining the cattlemen's club or whatever, then go for it with gusto. If the optimal decision is to move, then don't waste the years.

Thanks for the advice, I think I will finish school and look for better opportunities. My wife has said she would be happy finding another, better paying, employer anyway. I can deal with the connections part, but the problem of a lack of opportunity I can't do much about.

[Burnin' oil]

I don't have anything against a big town, but I was born in (near) a small town and live in (near) a small town. Heck, this is probably where they'll bury me. My wife is from So Cal but I brought her to my small town and now she's small town, too, just like me.

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by audiman08

Maybe some of you have experienced the "good ol boy" system first hand. After getting married about a year ago, I moved from a large city to this small Missouri town (my wife's hometown). It's been culture shock to say the least. I've been trying to finish my masters through distance learning and was sure I would get this local museum curating position. I'm half way into a masters degree, and had high-hopes for this job, as did my wife. Anyway, come to find out a local was picked (and according to my wife, this individual had inside connections, no degree, and no background in historical work). I've come to resent this town, the politics, and the lack of opportunity. I'm teaching part-time now, but I get paid peanuts. I've considered taking an internship for the time being just to get back to St. Louis. Undoubtedly, this will put a strain on my marriage. Maybe it's what I need, or maybe I'm just looking for an escape..I don't know what to do.

It's hard to believe anyone would lust to live in STL. I've been there, what am i missing?

[m21sniper]

Originally Posted by audiman08

I understand your frustration, but I didn't move here for the "small town feel." I moved here for my wife, I didn't want to pull her away from her job. I don't look down on small town folk, it's just very difficult for "city folk" to integrate into small towns because of the small town "you're not one of us" mentality that is so hard to get around. I imagine if you moved to a large city, you would feel a little lost also.

Friend of mine got out of the USMC and brought his California wife back to Philly with him. He bought them a row home in Kensington.

Anyone who has ever been to Kensington in Philadelphia can pretty much guess how that one ended when he tried to move a Kali girl in there. Hint: Poorly.

[Gogar]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

It's hard to believe anyone would lust to live in STL. I've been there, what am i missing?

Asks the guy who lives in Philadelphia.

[m21sniper]

Exactly. It's like someone saying they're desperate to get here. Craziness.

[speeder]

It's all who you know in this world. I just did a sweet painting job on the other side of the country based on nepotism.

[speeder]

I'll take the big city with its free, climate-controlled outdoor office space, though. (OK, I'm in $2.00 at the new-fangled parking meter thing). My present location:


The view outward, nice-looking blonde and her two blonde little girls just got out of this car. I chatted with her for a minute, her husband got this car 35 years ago as a gift from his mother and it's not for sale. Nice lady.

[nostatic]

Is that the Larchmont one? Went on a few coffee dates at that Peets. MDR is my "work" Peets and my new "home" one is 14th and Montana.

[Jim Richards]

Originally Posted by nostatic

A small town is like any other organization - by their very nature they are incestuous. So start pressing the flesh.

Incest? Pressing flesh? Hmmm...I think I see where this is going.

[911Rob]

I live in a small Town of 16,000 people and I love it.

Stinkin' Thinkin'..... it'll get you EVERY time!

Dr. Wayne Dyer says "Contemplate yourself surrounded by the conditions of which you wish to produce." sounds like you're doing the opposite; oh no

Good Luck
Quote from "Excuses Begone!" if you're interested?

[pavulon]

Many small town folk have a lot of time on their hands, little education or experience beyond the edge of town and most have too many near-by relatives w/ the same issues. That and more contributes to a near complete lack of privacy in any issue...I've lived in a town of 5K for 11 years now...it may well be time to go.

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by pavulon

Many small town folk have a lot of time on their hands, little education or experience beyond the edge of town and most have too many near-by relatives w/ the same issues.

Much of this statement would apply to far more people in large cities - homeless, the bums hanging out in front of liquor stores, soup kitchens, etc.

[pavulon]

perhaps...but the net effect is different in a city.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Is that the Larchmont one? Went on a few coffee dates at that Peets. MDR is my "work" Peets and my new "home" one is 14th and Montana.

Yup. Larchmont village is all the small-town I'll ever need. Maybe soon I'll have a bike and we can do some recon together.

[nostatic]

Every Peets in this town has a lot of screenwriters. The Larchmont is pretty full of them, but so far I'm finding the 14th and Montana location is really industry-central. You'd think Brentwood would have more, but they can't find seats because of all the bicyclists sipping lattes there

[berettafan]

Chef is right on. Could never tolerate large suburban areas myself. Anonymity favors the weak. Years ago i would have agreed that small towns tend to be populated by dim folks but having spent most of my life in two local towns with populations of approx. 3k people i'm beginning to think small towns are tougher to make it in because mediocrity can't hide. Definitely agree that the 'who you know' thing is always present anywhere. it might be tougher to see in big towns because such a relatively small % of the population is in the 'circle'.

For the record i did live and work outside of DC (Frederick to Rockville) for a few years after college. Liked Frederick (more countrified) but never felt at home closer to DC. Big fancy neighborhoods populated by high paid execs who never take the time to meet their neighbors unless they want something from them. Speeders pics look wonderful though and i do enjoy being around people.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Every Peets in this town has a lot of screenwriters. The Larchmont is pretty full of them, but so far I'm finding the 14th and Montana location is really industry-central. You'd think Brentwood would have more, but they can't find seats because of all the bicyclists sipping lattes there

Montana ave. is douchbag central, unfortunately. Even with a cool guy like you helping tip the balance, it's hopeless. I used to live in that 'hood when it was nothing but dry cleaners and a supermarket+ a ski shop. SM canyon in '82-'85. It has really taken a schit over there, along w/ the west side in general.

[audiman08]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

It's hard to believe anyone would lust to live in STL. I've been there, what am i missing?

lol, well it all depends on which part of St. Louis you saw.