The problem with small towns

[audiman08]

Originally Posted by sailchef

I don't want to piss any one off, (if I do, too bad), but the biggest problem with small towns is city folk moving in and thinking that we need to do things like they do "back home". They move in for the small town feel but then b**ch when they realize it's real, not some made for TV movie and they can't change the channel.

I understand your frustration, but I didn't move here for the "small town feel." I moved here for my wife, I didn't want to pull her away from her job. I don't look down on small town folk, it's just very difficult for "city folk" to integrate into small towns because of the small town "you're not one of us" mentality that is so hard to get around. I imagine if you moved to a large city, you would feel a little lost also.

[Westy]

Hmmmm, I love the small town. You couldn't pay me enuff to move back to Metropolis USA. A traffic jam up here are three bicycles not moving to the right when a pickup is rollin' down the road. They usually make that mistake only once. Our news agency is fence talking. Usually about once a month. And most of the asses up here stand on all fours. I'm sorry ur plans didn't work out, but politics are politics, regardless of the population.

[Looking_for_911]

Originally Posted by Martin Smith

+1

Don't blame the town. Blame yourself for moving somewhere, expecting to get a job based on your resume alone, without having any inside connections.

Many (some say most) jobs are awarded through networking. Hell, even if you did have connections and you were promised the job, that would have still been a huge risk.

My dad, who is now retired, once told me when I had a complaint similar to our young friend here that more deals closed and more people are hired on golf courses than in boardrooms.
Shame but true.
And I was never good at this "networking" thing.

[Looking_for_911]

Originally Posted by sailchef

I don't want to piss any one off, (if I do, too bad), but the biggest problem with small towns is city folk moving in and thinking that we need to do things like they do "back home". They move in for the small town feel but then b**ch when they realize it's real, not some made for TV movie and they can't change the channel.

While on a photo expedition in South Georgia one time I saw on the back of an old F-150 pick up a bumper sticker that read, "We don't care how the hell you did it "Back Home!"
Great sentiment if one asks me!

[Dueller]

I moved to a small town in the Mississippi Delta for a transitional promotion 25 years ago this week. Lived in a town of 25,000 (which is HUGE by Delta standards) until shortly after my divorce in 1997.

A few observations/recollections:

Mississippi itself is often referred to by locals as the largest small town in the U.S. Statewide, everbody knows everybody and has some connection somewhere along the way.

Three days after I moved to the Delta I went to a grocery store. I didn't have enough cash on me and had just opened a local checking account. This was BDC...Before Debit Cards. All I had were blank counter checks and an out of state DL. Clerk looked at me and said "Oh I know who you are...you replaced so-n-so who retired last month. You moved here from Lexington, KY. You rented an apartment from Lydia. Your check is fine."

I metand statrted dating a local Ole Miss debutante queen. Doors were opened immediately for me. I was selected to head up the arts foundation, participated in community theatre, put on community advisory boards, chamber of commerce, etc. Invited to the best parties, the nicest deer camps, country clubs, duck hunting retreats. We married three years later. Doors were really opened then. Quit my secure GS-13/14 gubmint job and went to law school. Had two of the oldest and most prestigious law firms fighting to hire me before I even graduated/passed the bar.

We divorced 9 years later. I became a personna non gratis. That's when I left the Delta and moved to the Jackson area.

I now live in another small suburb. No crime to speak of...other than some of my clients in the neighboring towns. No traffic jams. My office is 3 miles from my front door. Funny things happen tho...I went in to renew my license plate and the clerk noticed it was a 911. She said "Wait a minute...I've got something you might like." Went to the back and dug thru the sequentially numbered plates and dug out "MAD 911" to issue to me.

It has its pros and cons...

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

Small town living be lonely, next thing you know, you end up on a midnight train going anywhere.

were you born and raised in south Detroit too?!?

[Rick Lee]

When I lived in a tiny town in TX and the first murder in 100 yrs. happened there, it wasn't even reported in the local paper because everyone in the town knew everyone involved. This story was on the Dallas news all the time and there was a movie made about it. But only headline I recall about it in our local paper was about two weeks after it happened and it read something like "No New Leads In Murder".

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by nostatic

by their very nature they are incestuous. So start pressing the flesh.

Ewww

[Rot 911]

I think you have received a lot of good advice. 19 years ago I moved from Kansas City to Jefferson City, MO. Population 36,000. I know what you mean about feeling like an outsider. But in those 19 years I have managed to worm my way inside. Sometimes I miss the big city, but I can always go visit.

[JCF]

There are no small towns, only small people.

[audiman08]

Originally Posted by Kurt V

I think you have received a lot of good advice. 19 years ago I moved from Kansas City to Jefferson City, MO. Population 36,000. I know what you mean about feeling like an outsider. But in those 19 years I have managed to worm my way inside. Sometimes I miss the big city, but I can always go visit.

I need to start worming my way in I guess, you're not far from me so I know you can sympathize a little. Hey, I did marry a girl from here so that's a start, right?

[pete3799]

+3
They buy a place out on a class 4 road and then they whine
the next winter when they find out the town doesn't plow it.

[VaSteve]

Originally Posted by Dueller

We divorced 9 years later. I became a personna non gratis. That's when I left the Delta and moved to the Jackson area.

Well damn, now I know where the magnolia state is. lol

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by audiman08

I need to start worming my way in I guess, you're not far from me so I know you can sympathize a little. Hey, I did marry a girl from here so that's a start, right?

Where you live?

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by audiman08

Maybe some of you have experienced the "good ol boy" system first hand. After getting married about a year ago, I moved from a large city to this small Missouri town (my wife's hometown). It's been culture shock to say the least. I've been trying to finish my masters through distance learning and was sure I would get this local museum curating position. I'm half way into a masters degree, and had high-hopes for this job, as did my wife. Anyway, come to find out a local was picked (and according to my wife, this individual had inside connections, no degree, and no background in historical work). I've come to resent this town, the politics, and the lack of opportunity. I'm teaching part-time now, but I get paid peanuts. I've considered taking an internship for the time being just to get back to St. Louis. Undoubtedly, this will put a strain on my marriage. Maybe it's what I need, or maybe I'm just looking for an escape..I don't know what to do.

It's hard to live in a small town and be defined by your wife. Shortly after being married I moved to Great Bend (pop 15000) 20 minutes from my wife's hometown. My work was actually in my wife's hometown (pop 800) with my father in law, so I spent most of my time there. Great guy, and nothing against him, but it was difficult largely being defined by my wife. Everyone knew me because of who I married, not because of me. Ultimately we moved a few years later because of a lack of opportunity, but there were many reasons that I was not happy. It's a hard spot to be in, good luck.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Nostatic pretty much took the words right outta my mouth (or fingers).

It's not what you know, but who you know. Trumps everything. This is just as real/prevalent in big cities as in small towns.

[Tim Hancock]

Originally Posted by sailchef

I don't want to piss any one off, (if I do, too bad), but the biggest problem with small towns is city folk moving in and thinking that we need to do things like they do "back home". They move in for the small town feel but then b**ch when they realize it's real, not some made for TV movie and they can't change the channel.

+1000 Worst is when they move to a farming area then beotch about the smell from the 30 year old hog farm they just built their house next to.

[jyl]

I have to ask - how long do you intend to stay in that small town? Is your wife's job there unique and irreplaceable? When you finish your degree, what opportunity will there be for you?

I'm a city boy. I've also spent a lot of time in a small town, my wife's hometown (probably bigger than the one you're in, though). If I were 27 and well educated and aiming toward a professional sort of career, there is no way I'd go rusticate in a small town. Earlier in life, fine, and later in life, fine too. But in your late 20s and your 30s, these are years to be advancing fast, professionally speaking, not wasting your time nibbling peanuts while you wait for the town curator to kick the bucket. Suppose you had gotten that job as curator/archivist - was that going to be professionally challenging, fulfillng, advancing, etc, and for how long?

You should step back, assess things for both you and your wife's situation, map out a plan, thinking 10+ years ahead. If the optimal decision is to stay where you are, joining the cattlemen's club or whatever, then go for it with gusto. If the optimal decision is to move, then don't waste the years.

[vash]

ok, i'm sorta a wuss. i want to live in a small town...when i retire. but the small town needs to be in the shadow of a nice big town. i need decent groceries, and restaurants. i want a nice big plot of land, and NOT to see my neighbors.

i'm gonna spend time in france and learn to make cheese..then get some goats. hahaha.

pipedreams.

[slakjaw]

Arrogant city boy.