always a favorite....


when called on your bull****, accuse everyone else of poor reading comprehension skills. explain that no one on earth is smart enough to understand the brilliance of your posts.

Dottore... is extremely pompous, and loves the sound of his own voice.

And that's why we love him sooooo much.

D, you've done your good deed for the day... you can sleep well tonight knowing you gave it your best shot.

Heh heh

Don't forget lizards.

I feel slighted.

Kinda like the time when my ex-wife's friend took us to a gay bar. His lover told me that I needed to be careful, or I might get goosed. I didn't. I was both relieved and insulted...

or vibrators

steve

Dottore... you ignorant slut...

SmileWavy

i'll have my people talk to your people and your people can talk to MY DOG! "MR SNUGGLES"!

M: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.
Pause
R: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you.

(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!

(Walk down the corridor)
M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't
A: I did!
M: You didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't.
A: Did.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.
M: Now look.
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
M: What?
A: That's it. Good morning.
M: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!
A: I'm afraid it was.
M: It wasn't.
Pause
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M: What?!
A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
A: (Hums)
M: Look, this is ridiculous.
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Oh, all right.
(pays money)
A: Thank you.
short pause
M: Well?
A: Well what?
M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
M: I just paid!
A: No you didn't.
M: I DID!
A: No you didn't.
M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
A: Well, you didn't pay.
M: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
A: No you haven't.
M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
M: Oh I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh Shut up.

(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)

M: I want to complain.
C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about...
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.


(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)

M: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.

HAhaahha!!

Classic SNL reference. :D

Somebody better start buying some parts. And quickly. Or post some receipts showing they have been supporting the régime real quick.. Lest we all forget the nature of this site and forbearance of our benefactor.

Kirk: I'm not sure, but I think we've been insulted.

Spock: I'm sure.

^^^^^ Look a bunny with a pancake! :D

Hi there again. About 3 weeks ago, your Pelican Parts order
was shipped out of our facility in El Segundo. We're just
checking up with you to make sure that your order was well
received, the parts fit your car, and that you are happy with
your purchase.

We recently added a new survey feature to the website. It takes
less than one minute to fill out, and the results are sent
directly to us (owner Wayne R. Dempsey & Senior Management) immediately.
Please take a moment to offer us your valuable feedback:

Pelican Parts - Customer Feedback Survey

We also just recently added another new feature to the site:
Product Reviews! We're very excited about this, as it allows
our loyal customers to give their unabashed opinions about the
products that we sell. To add a review for an item on this past
order, simply click this link and it will show you all of the parts
that were on your order, ready for your review. You can even add
a photo of the parts installed on your car! Here's the link:

Review Products on Order

We hope that we are not bothering you with this semi-automated
email. However we feel that it is extremely important that our
customers are very satisfied with our service. If you have
any questions, comments, concerns, complaints or even the
occasional accolade, simply reply to this email and we'll answer
you as soon as possible.

It is important to note that recently we have been expanding our
our product offerings to offer you greater selection and choice.
One of the benefits of using the Internet for our catalog is that
we are not restricted by the limitations of a printed catalog.
However, this expanded product offering may result in a slight
delay in shipping your order if you happened to order one of these
special order parts that we maintain a lean stock on. If your order
consists of very common, regularly stocked items, it is typically
shipped out within 24 hrs of receipt.

If any of your parts were backordered and not yet delivered, they
should be coming in soon. In the very near future, we will be
making improvements to our on-line system so that you can actively
track the status of your backorder, and cancel or make changes to
pending shipments.

Additionally, we'd like to thank you for your continued support of
Pelican Parts. We realize that you have a choice when it comes to
buying parts for your 'baby' and we're happy that you gave us the
privilege of being your supplier. Your support of Pelican Parts shows
that you value customer service, and you also appreciate our ever-
expanding content on Pelican Parts - Porsche Parts & BMW Parts - Automotive Parts and Accessories - Porsche & BMW.

Thanks again, and we look forward to helping you out in the future!

Wayne R. Dempsey, CEO

I just got one of those too Shaun..... I've already spent about a hundred this year with Wayne... Plan to spend lots more this year....

I spent about that last month....and I don't even have a P-car.

lol. Too funny.

Good Man Shaun: Rant at will! :)