PPOT Rules of Debate (for those of you who missed the memo)
 

Since (as is apparent from other threads) some of you didn’t get the memo about the new PPOT Debating Rules, I thought I should draw the key points to your attention.

They’re really quite simple.

1. Forget facts. Facts are not important. Important is that you weigh in on a subject as though you understood it. When you know absolutely nothing about a topic, a quick look at Wiki will bring you up to speed in no time. Quote liberally from Wiki, but always disguise your quote, because, hey, everyone else is reading Wiki too.

2. Logic? What’s that? No need to be rational. Just say whatever comes to your mind. If anyone disagrees with you just call them names. (*******, asshat and douchenozzle are perennial favorites.) And if that doesn’t work, mail the mods in a huff and ask them to move the thread to PARF.

3. Post frequently on the gun threads. This will give you a certain gravitas that is highly respected here.

4. Finally, and most importantly, you must carefully construct, cultivate and mythologize your on-screen persona. This will make you irresistible to the new generation of grasshoppers on PPOT.

You could for example be a Falstaffian, Zorbaesque guru of infinite wisdom, taste and prescience, who is disturbingly close to his mother and whose only vice is gluttony. Or you could be an international man of mystery who drives important people to exotic lands on a jet plane, drinks flagons of whisky and rogers his cabin crew thrice daily, and then posts at length about his solitary adventures on the Hershey Highway from distant hotel rooms. Or you could be a mysterious man of action who writes poetry and draws ancient dragons, drives the best car in automotive history, dates scary black Russian lesbians with PhDs on internet forums, and spends long nights alone sharpening his Katana sword. Or you could keep it simple and just be a completely daft religious nut job who quotes scripture in reply to every issue raised. Or even better: a rock star! The possibilities are endless, and the only limit your imagination.

Hope this helps.

I disagree, douchehat!!

Why isn't this in PARF!?

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1265306651.gif


great stuff.

This should end in a fight, or debate.

I is impossible to "debate" someone that sees a fact in a different way than you can imagine possible.

Many topics are what one person sees as a fact and it really just an opinion. "Because I KNOW this to be true you must be wrong". If I believe that pink unicorns are real there is no way to prove me wrong and that applies to any strongly held belief.

I see this thread going down the hershey highway quickly.

Azzhat.

Well played sir, I can't even discipher if that should have been typed in green. In which case I will default to calling you a douchebag and move on with my day.:D

This is too damn funny. Best thing, you're safe from retribution, because the illustrations you cite won't recognize themselves - rock-star included, because he comes across as too modest to see himself as one.

Only two appropriate ways to insult here....

When referring to a male, the term is "douchenozzle".

When referring to a chick, the term is "swampdonkey".

So...as an example, when someone wants to smack down Dipso, they say "Dipso, you are such a swampdonkey"

I should edit Wikipedia with rules of debate other than what is posted here, and then prove you wrong!!! But my time is far more important because I'm not a ******* like the rest of you morons.

Should this post be submitted to wikipedia as an illustration of irony or sanctimony?

I know you are just trolling but you forgot one description

Il Dottore - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat3.gif

That was all way too hard to understand, so, if you don't mind, I will continue to contribute as the resident drunken Irish, gun toting, Harley riding bastard I am. Anyone who believes a god damn thing I say does so at their peril.

Yes it does.

Thanks for the tips.;)

Are you rankled because you defended a pedophile and dozens of posters called you a lot of nasty names?

Don't you think a moderator should start a thread like this? Or are you not nuanced enough to make that realization?

Net nanny.

PS: I sure didn't get any memo.

What about sea monsters, vaginas and kid posts? Where is the debate rules for those?

Bravo, Bravo! I just wish I had received the honor of a caricature. Or did I? Or do I?

always a favorite....


when called on your bull****, accuse everyone else of poor reading comprehension skills. explain that no one on earth is smart enough to understand the brilliance of your posts.

Dottore... is extremely pompous, and loves the sound of his own voice.

And that's why we love him sooooo much.

D, you've done your good deed for the day... you can sleep well tonight knowing you gave it your best shot.

Heh heh

Don't forget lizards.

I feel slighted.

Kinda like the time when my ex-wife's friend took us to a gay bar. His lover told me that I needed to be careful, or I might get goosed. I didn't. I was both relieved and insulted...

or vibrators

steve

Dottore... you ignorant slut...

SmileWavy

i'll have my people talk to your people and your people can talk to MY DOG! "MR SNUGGLES"!

M: Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.
R: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?
M: No, I haven't, this is my first time.
R: I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?
M: Well, what is the cost?
R: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
M: Well, I think it would be best if I perhaps started off with just the one and then see how it goes.
R: Fine. Well, I'll see who's free at the moment.
Pause
R: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory.
Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.
M: Thank you.

(Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
M: Well, I was told outside that...
Q: Don't give me that, you snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings!
M: What?
Q: Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous, pervert!!!
M: Look, I CAME HERE FOR AN ARGUMENT, I'm not going to just stand...!!
Q: OH, oh I'm sorry, but this is abuse.
M: Oh, I see, well, that explains it.
Q: Ah yes, you want room 12A, Just along the corridor.
M: Oh, Thank you very much. Sorry.
Q: Not at all.
M: Thank You.
(Under his breath) Stupid git!!

(Walk down the corridor)
M: (Knock)
A: Come in.
M: Ah, Is this the right room for an argument?
A: I told you once.
M: No you haven't.
A: Yes I have.
M: When?
A: Just now.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't
A: I did!
M: You didn't!
A: I'm telling you I did!
M: You did not!!
A: Oh, I'm sorry, just one moment. Is this a five minute argument or the full half hour?
M: Oh, just the five minutes.
A: Ah, thank you. Anyway, I did.
M: You most certainly did not.
A: Look, let's get this thing clear; I quite definitely told you.
M: No you did not.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: No you didn't.
A: Yes I did.
M: You didn't.
A: Did.
M: Oh look, this isn't an argument.
A: Yes it is.
M: No it isn't. It's just contradiction.
A: No it isn't.
M: It is!
A: It is not.
M: Look, you just contradicted me.
A: I did not.
M: Oh you did!!
A: No, no, no.
M: You did just then.
A: Nonsense!
M: Oh, this is futile!
A: No it isn't.
M: I came here for a good argument.
A: No you didn't; no, you came here for an argument.
M: An argument isn't just contradiction.
A: It can be.
M: No it can't. An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
A: No it isn't.
M: Yes it is! It's not just contradiction.
A: Look, if I argue with you, I must take up a contrary position.
M: Yes, but that's not just saying 'No it isn't.'
A: Yes it is!
M: No it isn't!

A: Yes it is!
M: Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of any statement the other person makes.
(short pause)
A: No it isn't.
M: It is.
A: Not at all.
M: Now look.
A: (Rings bell) Good Morning.
M: What?
A: That's it. Good morning.
M: I was just getting interested.
A: Sorry, the five minutes is up.
M: That was never five minutes!
A: I'm afraid it was.
M: It wasn't.
Pause
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue anymore.
M: What?!
A: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.
M: Yes, but that was never five minutes, just now. Oh come on!
A: (Hums)
M: Look, this is ridiculous.
A: I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!
M: Oh, all right.
(pays money)
A: Thank you.
short pause
M: Well?
A: Well what?
M: That wasn't really five minutes, just now.
A: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid.
M: I just paid!
A: No you didn't.
M: I DID!
A: No you didn't.
M: Look, I don't want to argue about that.
A: Well, you didn't pay.
M: Aha. If I didn't pay, why are you arguing? I Got you!
A: No you haven't.
M: Yes I have. If you're arguing, I must have paid.
A: Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time.
M: Oh I've had enough of this.
A: No you haven't.
M: Oh Shut up.

(Walks down the stairs. Opens door.)

M: I want to complain.
C: You want to complain! Look at these shoes. I've only had them three weeks and the heels are worn right through.
M: No, I want to complain about...
C: If you complain nothing happens, you might as well not bother.
M: Oh!
C: Oh my back hurts, it's not a very fine day and I'm sick and tired of this office.


(Slams door. walks down corridor, opens next door.)

M: Hello, I want to... Ooooh!
H: No, no, no. Hold your head like this, then go Waaah. Try it again.
M: uuuwwhh!!
H: Better, Better, but Waah, Waah! Put your hand there.
M: No.
H: Now..
M: Waaaaah!!!
H: Good, Good! That's it.
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: What?
M: Stop hitting me!!
H: Stop hitting you?
M: Yes!
H: Why did you come in here then?
M: I wanted to complain.
H: Oh no, that's next door. It's being-hit-on-the-head lessons in here.
M: What a stupid concept.

HAhaahha!!

Classic SNL reference. :D

Somebody better start buying some parts. And quickly. Or post some receipts showing they have been supporting the régime real quick.. Lest we all forget the nature of this site and forbearance of our benefactor.

Kirk: I'm not sure, but I think we've been insulted.

Spock: I'm sure.

^^^^^ Look a bunny with a pancake! :D

Hi there again. About 3 weeks ago, your Pelican Parts order
was shipped out of our facility in El Segundo. We're just
checking up with you to make sure that your order was well
received, the parts fit your car, and that you are happy with
your purchase.

We recently added a new survey feature to the website. It takes
less than one minute to fill out, and the results are sent
directly to us (owner Wayne R. Dempsey & Senior Management) immediately.
Please take a moment to offer us your valuable feedback:

Pelican Parts - Customer Feedback Survey

We also just recently added another new feature to the site:
Product Reviews! We're very excited about this, as it allows
our loyal customers to give their unabashed opinions about the
products that we sell. To add a review for an item on this past
order, simply click this link and it will show you all of the parts
that were on your order, ready for your review. You can even add
a photo of the parts installed on your car! Here's the link:

Review Products on Order

We hope that we are not bothering you with this semi-automated
email. However we feel that it is extremely important that our
customers are very satisfied with our service. If you have
any questions, comments, concerns, complaints or even the
occasional accolade, simply reply to this email and we'll answer
you as soon as possible.

It is important to note that recently we have been expanding our
our product offerings to offer you greater selection and choice.
One of the benefits of using the Internet for our catalog is that
we are not restricted by the limitations of a printed catalog.
However, this expanded product offering may result in a slight
delay in shipping your order if you happened to order one of these
special order parts that we maintain a lean stock on. If your order
consists of very common, regularly stocked items, it is typically
shipped out within 24 hrs of receipt.

If any of your parts were backordered and not yet delivered, they
should be coming in soon. In the very near future, we will be
making improvements to our on-line system so that you can actively
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pending shipments.

Additionally, we'd like to thank you for your continued support of
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expanding content on Pelican Parts - Porsche Parts & BMW Parts - Automotive Parts and Accessories - Porsche & BMW.

Thanks again, and we look forward to helping you out in the future!

Wayne R. Dempsey, CEO

I just got one of those too Shaun..... I've already spent about a hundred this year with Wayne... Plan to spend lots more this year....

I spent about that last month....and I don't even have a P-car.

lol. Too funny.

Good Man Shaun: Rant at will! :)