A customers ex husband just got caught molesting his 3 caughters

[fastfredracing]

A customer of mine stopped in this morning to get air in her tire. She was on her way back from the courthouse which is a couple of miles up the road from me.
I was in shock when she told me why she was in the courthouse.
It appears as if her ex has been molesting his/her 3 daughters 7. 11. and 15 for years . The 15 year old daughter finally came out and told her mother about the abuse, and said it has been going on for as long as she can remember.
I know this family well, I have been working on their cars for 15 years, and I almost dated the mother of these girls at one time 20 years ago, we have remained pretty good friends over the years.
I do remember her daughter telling me something that alarmed me about 7 or eight years ago, and I said something to the mother , and the grandmother of the children.
I am just blown away, she told me this morning, and I have been dwelling on it all day. I never liked her ex husband, I know he was physically abusive early on in the relationship, and I have always thought him to be a deadbeat, but I never expected this.
I did not even know what to say to her, I wish there was something I could do , but I think the damage is done, he has probably scarred these poor girls for life.

[vash]

damn.

[Laneco]

Must have been a tough one for the 15 year old to break the silence. When you have all the family being abused, it's usually the one who can't stand the youngest child to be hurt who speaks up. Terrifying for her and a huge "risk" opening up this ugly thing, but she saved her sisters years of damage, and may have even saved their lives. Sexually abused children have serious long term coping problems and a high suicide rate. That young lady should have a medal of courage.

Court is really hard for children. I think it's better now that it used to be, but still pretty brutal. The mom gets the guilt thing - "why didn't I see it?" "did I know something was wrong and just prettended not to see?" "I FAILED...FAILED at the only task in my life that really matters..."

What do friends see? Well, when this happened to a friend of my daughter (a girl I've known for years and absolutely adore), I was enraged. How could a man do that to his child? Frankly, I wanted to kill him and in the process, I really wanted him to die absolutely terrified. These aren't healthy thoughts and are not ones that keep the law abiding person out of jail, so if you feel this way, step back... I don't think I got to a cooling off period until this girl seemed to be adapting/adjusting/settling with good therapy. I can't believe how resiliant she proved to be and how well she is doing now.

There is no point of this that is good or easy. But they have turned a corner to a future that is better and most certainly safer. The mom and daughters should really invest in a therapy situation for as long as it takes to move everyone back to an even keel. As absolutely horrific as this is, human beings are capable of recovering from even the most depraved acts. Not easily, certainly not quickly in such a bad case, but we are capable. It is something that has allowed us to survive as a species.

I'm not any kind of therapist and I didn't sleep in a Motel 6 last night, just hope this offers a bit of insight and helps some.

angela

[on2wheels52]

I know where there's a millstone.
Jim

[Joeaksa]

Prove it, then take him out behind the courthouse and shoot him. Seriously... no quarter for child abusers!

[Buckterrier]

Good luck to you. I'd hate to be in your position. If you have a lawyer friend maybe you can confide in him as to what to do. Please let us know.

[wreckersteve]

****ing Bastard

[m21sniper]

People are scumbags.

[speedracing944]

This sort of thing happened in my family when I was a young child. The whole this sucks all around. I wish I had more advice but there is a long road ahead for recovery. I hope they get good therapists that can gain their trust to work out issues. In addition to the damage done, the poor girls will have to continue to grow without a strong father and all the good that comes with having a strong male role model.

I wish, I wish I had a father that wasn't a $hitbag. There were so many lost opportunities. My paternal grandfather filled a gap for me which provided much needed direction and encouragement.

I wish them the best.

Speedy

[Jagshund]

With any luck, he'll be convicted and have the favor returned while in prison.

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by 1968Cayman

With any luck, he'll be convicted and have the favor returned while in prison.

Oh, that'll happen. Also, child abusers are often killed while in prison...

[legion]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

Oh, that'll happen. Also, child abusers are often killed while in prison...

Which is why they should all be in general population.

[pwd72s]

But sadly, all too often, their death while in prison brings even more anguish to the victims.

No "winners" in cases like these. That's the tragedy.

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

People are scumbags.

not all of them Bill, though hearing stuff like this makes me wonder

[Heel n Toe]

Horrible, horrible stuff. It's bad enough when some uncle or friend of the family does it, but a father?

Do you remember what it was that the daughter told you? I wonder what they did with that information.

Hard to believe you told the mother and grandmother and nothing came of it if it was something that bothered you, a person outside the situation.

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

I do remember her daughter telling me something that alarmed me about 7 or eight years ago, and I said something to the mother , and the grandmother of the children.

[Porsche-O-Phile]

The young girl that came forward deserves a medal. Seriously - that takes a lot of courage at age 15. Good for her.

I hope this guy gets his due, but sadly given how broke all the state governments are, he'll probably be "sentencing deferred" or given some sort of community service or in-home confinement or something, unfortunately. Shouldn't be that way, but there are cases of convicted violent felons getting turned loose all over the country 'cause the money just ain't there to keep them incarcerated. All the more reason he should be promptly marched out the back door of the courthouse following his conviction, made to dig his own grave and kneel down next to it, then given a bullet in the head. For murderers, rapists, child molesters, thieves I wouldn't have any problem with this. But in today's touchy-feely, squeamish-at-the-sight-of-blood, pussified society I doubt anything like that will ever happen. I can dream though.