The Room Monkey Saga . . . continues . . . Oh No!

[imcarthur]

My empty nest bliss has come to a screeching halt. The Room Monkey’s marriage came to a brick wall Friday morning (Good Friday). RM #1 had a growing suspicion that the combo of late hours & strange signals from RM #2 were indicative of something. A fishy sounding proposed sleepover with a friend of hers who is divorcing was the final nail. He checked her cell phone text messages . . .

Now a smart cheater deletes his/her text messages. But you have to be Grade 2 smart to think to delete the Sent messages. She wasn’t & didn’t. Her planned rendezvous with her new beau was recorded there.

He confronted her vehemently (not physically but verbally vehemently). He told her he was leaving & divorcing her. He took some personal stuff & her cell phone & left & headed in our direction. Later in the day he was arrested for: Physical abuse (not true but her claim involves a plastic shampoo bottle & btw she had nada marks/scars/welts because he didn’t touch her – thankfully), making threats (she claimed some threats that she picked up from a B Grade horror movie – I kid you not - the same words) & theft under $5000. You guessed it, the cell phone. She cheats & he spends a night in jail. We bailed him out Saturday & he is now living with us. Again. As part of his bail terms.

Rick: You were ½ right.

The police – who have tried & convicted him – roughed him up a bit during interrogation & are now being less than co-operative in organizing a personal effects pickup at the apartment. The cute little Asian ‘victim’ was very compelling, I guess.

To be continued . . .

Ian

[onlycafe]

i thought asians were supposed to be smart?

[Dueller]

Man...Ian, I'm so sorry to hear this. Let me know if there is anything I can do or say.

jim

[imcarthur]

Thanks, Jim. I did learn something about bail hearings on a long weekend. Those with lawyers were released on bail, those without weren't.

Ian

[Gogar]

Sorry to hear, Ian.

Oh, and FWIW on some phones you have to "erase deleted messages" as well. I've heard. Somewhere.

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by Gogar

Oh, and FWIW on some phones you have to "erase deleted messages" as well. I've heard. Somewhere.

Very good point for some, I am sure.

One teeny tiny point I forgot to mention: her requirement for permanent residence status (allowable through marriage) in Canada is fulfilled in June. (3 yrs out of five as a resident). Do you think that there just might be a connection?

Ian

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Losers attract losers.

Sorry to hear you're caught in the middle of it.

[Rick Lee]

While I'm surprised by the circumstances under which he returned to your nest, I'm not that surprised. However, this appears to be rather justified. Mainland women can be a handful. Sounds like he's in for a rough ride, which really sucks. Going to jail after finding out your marriage is about to end is, well, worse than moving back in with your folks.

[Erakad]

Very sad to hear this. Knew another couple once, with a similar exchange...this husband also spent a weekend in jail. She later recanted the story, but where are the husband's rights to due process...did she do time? NO! I know concerns on domestic violence, but when the gal hasn't a mark on her........come on.

[imcarthur]

I agree. We all know that domestic abuse is real & disgusting. No one should have to fear their spouse. However, all a woman has to do is yell 'wolf' & a man is presumed guilty. RM #2's charges are vindictive & petty but the police reacted as if he had shoved her off the balcony. I know both of them very well & I know who I believe in this he said/she said 10 minute scene & I think that I am dispassionate enough that my belief is not just blind parental support. Discovery & the trial will tell the whole tale.

We think that both of them were somewhat disillusioned with their life together. She wanted a Western husband who would let her flit through life shopping & dining out with frequent visits home to buy the latest fashion craze in Tokyo or Shanghai. He wanted a cute obedient China doll that he could take care of. From our vantage point, they had absolutely nothing in common. His mother has always said that it was only a matter of time before she broke his heart.

Ian

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

She wanted a Western husband who would let her flit through life shopping & dining out with frequent visits home to buy the latest fashion craze in Tokyo or Shanghai.

I had a Chinese ex just like this. Normally, I'd never date such a woman. But this one was very hot and had such a killer sense of humor. Still, a tiger don't change her stripes. Ironically, after she had spent a year or so talking me up to her dad and won his approval to marry me, I think (though can't confirm) that she told him I beat her when she changed her mind and broke off the engagement. It's the only plausible excuse she could have given him and saved face. And since he hadn't met me, he only knew what she told him.

I did not, however, want an obedient China doll. My wife is an incredible ball buster. She doesn't do it to me, but man, would I hate to be a non-loved one on the receiving end of one of her "negotiations" or dealings in which she thinks she's been wronged. Watch out.

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

after she had spent a year or so talking me up to her dad and won his approval to marry me

This sounds awfully familiar. Her father tried to pull the plug the night before the public wedding. He actually threatened to call out the army & destroy all of the official docs & escort us out of the country. Her mother called his bluff & eased the situation by making her own threats. It was a wild night.

We are thinking that her charges could be to hide her own shame at stepping out.

Ian

[Rick Lee]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

We are thinking that her charges could be to hide her own shame at stepping out.

I would bet money on this.

[red-beard]

You need to help your son lawyer up and quick. Unfortunately, this is a common tactic in divorce. Be thankful that there are no children involved. Your son is having an expensive lesson in life. You get what you pay for. He thought he would have this "inexpensive" hot wife. What he found is that he was merely a stepping stone.

Any details on the boyfriend? I expect that he has more money. Of course, he will think your son is beating her and abusing her, since that is what she is telling him. And the boyfriend will also learn, eventually, that he is also a stepping stone.

[Erakad]

Then chalk it up to another of life's lesson learned. Hope he gets through this fast/ok; think he needs all the luck he can get at this point.

[imcarthur]

Originally Posted by red-beard

You need to help your son lawyer up and quick.

Done. We blindly hired a criminal lawyer for the bail hearing & he appears very good at this juncture. We also talked with my family lawyer. RM #1 is forbidden any contact by court order.

The new boyfriend is a manager at an international investment firm (name withheld) where she has a part-time tax season job - that has just magically been extended with a 12 month contract . . . coincidence?

Ian

[Christien]

Holy crap, Ian, what a story! If you need any help finding a good family lawyer, email or pm me - my dad's a litigation lawyer and would know who's good and who's bad.

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by imcarthur

Done. We blindly hired a criminal lawyer for the bail hearing & he appears very good at this juncture. We also talked with my family lawyer. RM #1 is forbidden any contact by court order.

The new boyfriend is a manager at an international investment firm (name withheld) where she has a part-time tax season job - that has just magically been extended with a 12 month contract . . . coincidence?

Ian

You and I can discuss this rationally, your son cannot. This is the best thing that can happen to him. He will be rid of her, and quickly. There are no children. The most this will cost him, is money. In the long run, he is better off.

With the fact that she was cheating on him, this will make the transition easier, but not easy. He will start feeling inadequate, etc. This is where you can help.

[imcarthur]

Agreed, James. His mother is a basket case over it all, so I have had to be the calm, calculating, rational & wise (step) parent.

Thanks for the offer, Chris. I will let you know if we need further legal assistance. Right now, we are under control.

Ian

[Dueller]

Man...Ian, you pegged it 2 years ago in the original room monkey thread. Just went back and reread it:

"One note about Canadian immigration: as her sponsor, he is financial responsible for her for 3 years. Absolutely with no questions asked in our government’s eyes. Many Chinese women marry Canadian money just to get here. She has a girlfriend that is going down this path. We don’t think that this is her plan but . . ."


How's the boy and mom holding up?