Mike,
I have three kids and my middle one Harrison,16, is the picky eater. I too do most of the cooking and rotate around what he and the others like, if he gets out of hand with complaining he goes without. It was harder when he was little but he gets it now.
Does your son see the behavior of speaking rude to others? I have had that issue with my 11yo daughter, believe it or not she picked it up from her mom, grandmother and aunt. They boast of being strong "women" that speak their mind but what they do is degrade people openly, especially if they are upset, and feel it is justified, my daughter started doing the same.
Lucky for me my wife is not as bad as the other two but she can be blunt, so I had a talk with the wife and my daughter when she had a "fit" over something and explained what is and is not tolerated.
Maybe your son is seeing the behavior and thinks it is ok?
I just asked Harrison what you should do and he said let the boy go hungry a couple times and he will learn.
Good luck, ain't parenting fun!!!

If the wife and kid/s complain about my cooking, I threaten to serve the first to object as a meal for the rest.

food
 

My kids are 12 and 14. Son eats everything, daughter is very picky. She only eats plain pasta with butter and grated cheese for dinner. Even has to be a certain type of cheese. It's been that way for years. She is a friendly, well adjusted kid. Straight A's and athletic. Our meal times are great. Food is never an issue. My parents told me they were always forced to eat food they didn't like so they never made me eat food I didn't want. I feel the same way. My kids listen to me and are very polite. I choose my battles with them and food is not one. Family is everything and life is too short to dread being with them. Good luck. Mark

PS- My dog also sleeps on our leather couch - oh well...

I HATE eating with just ONE of my 4 sons.

I have two sons/2stepsons I've raised the stepsons since they were 2 1/2 and 7y/o.

The old argument of nature vs nurture, I will side with 85% of it is nature.

My youngest stepson has refused to use almost ANY manners at the table.

Head in the plate,elbows on the table shovel the food in and go.

The kicker is that when I correct him, I'm the bad guy.

He's now 16, almost a straight A student, and is on the Varsity baseball team.

In many ways I'm very proud of him.

I feel so angry sitting with him at the diner table due to his lack of manners.

We must be monsters cause my 5yo and 2yo eat exactly the same as my wife and I.
There has been tears, screaming, etc.. but no way we'll raise them to be picky at what's on the table..

"If you don't like it, don't eat it. You'll eat it later and until then no TV,no play, no cookie, etc. Oh and your favorite toy is grounded". With this rule we rarely have any issues at the table.

I don't think we've had any issues with food in a long time... :)

I'm happy that supper time in this family is very pleasant!

My oldest, the one I'm complaining about can really commit to a fight - he is much stronger willed than I am.

I hope it serves him well in the future but it isn't serving me well now. We've had a few pretty good days and we just got a dog. It's a very distracting thing...

This morning he and I went out to fly my RC airplanes and we really had a good time. Good days are good.

Each family has to find their own path. My dad used to say "you'll eat it and you'll like it". In other words, no arguing. If I pushed it around my plate too much, his answer was I was excused from the table but wasn't allowed to eat anything else until I ate my dinner first. He also threatened to serve it for breakfast the next day if I didn't eat it that evening. It seemed harsh but the bottom line is I am not a picky eater. I have my preference but I can put up with almost anything if need be. I tried to do the same with our daughter but the wife would always cave so the girl is now a picky eater as an adult.

I never fight with children or women, and I make sure I hold all the cards. I am bigger, stronger, and in control of the TV, Bedtime, Food, Transportation, and pretty much everything else. I chose my battles and set my terms. People can go along, or live with the consequences. And it doesn't bother me if you don't like it. I will still be here when you get off your trip.

Yes, I was raised by women to be a good boy. But being a good boy, and being a good man are two different things. A Mensch is not a wuss.