"Command Presence." Can it be learned?
 

Ok, I've got a leadership question for the group.

There are some men whose mere presence commands respect. They walk into the room and people just say "That guy must be the leader, even though he hasn't said anything yet." The ones that I've met are mostly Admirals and Captains, though I'm also finding a few of these among senior businessmen now that I'm out of the Navy. I would suspect that a number of you also possess this attribute.

Is this something that can be learned, or is it just something these people were born with? Public speaking, assertiveness training, reading more books on leadership ... is there anything that can be done to train this attribute? Thoughts?


Thanks,
Dan

Self confidence is the primary factor. Staying cool under pressure. Dressing the part helps. Watch people you think have this attribute and emulate them. All three of your suggestions on how to get this are good, but help you with the items above- particularly self confidence.

I think it is an acquired trait in some people but others have it from day one. One of the traits that needs to be present is to be a very good listener and the ability to analyze things before responding. Many people have a physical presence but the minute they open their mouth the aura is lost because they start shooting from the hip.

Command presence is the ability to get the attention of many and still hold their respect without the use or perception of intimidation. People want to pursue your ideas and be around you because they respect you and see that if they can execute with your assistance it will lead to greater success for everyone.

I would also say that from my prospective, military experience can be a factor contributing to having command presence but is not a critical ingredient in every situation.

It's a great question and this should be an interesting thread discussion.

I noticed over the years in a bunch of situations certain individuals have that "command presence", but most do not, or play at it.
The guys that had it were all ex-military and seemed to have the right tone and volume in their voice, had a good physical appearance(meaning neatly dressed for the occasion), and no matter what could contain their emotions and stay in point, no hysterics. Confident.
So I would offer that it is learned, probably officer training school and by having ready examples to model your behavior.

I think history has shown that it is something you are just born with - for the most part. There are many British monarchs over the centuries who have been described as "weak" or "not respected".

For example, one of the King Williams from way back was called Silly Billy behind his back. These past monarchs must have received leadership training, but they failed, although there are probably some exceptions.

Some just have it, some can learn it, and some are hopeless.

I watch Cops all the time and have seen a few of the cops try to describe "command presence." It really goes out the window when they scream at the top of their lungs like they're high on adrenaline and emotion. Some people are just not going to listen or do as they're told. Screaming even louder at them doesn't change that, but makes the screamer look silly and out of control. I wish they'd teach that in the academies.

Walk with your back straight and never be afraid to lock eyes. But don't puff your chest out or walk around with feathers on your arse.

Always an interesting question...

The "walk into a room" presence is for the most part intrinsic but can be learned over time with experience and wisdom.

In my experience there is no archetype, no real outward signal of CP...

When I was a white water rafting guide as a kid, I made the mistake of confusing my passengers outward bravado with courage. More than once in big water the hulksters were in the middle of the raft while the slightly built wife or girlfriends were still on the rail paddling.

Same in the military. My roommate in AOCS was a prior enlisted SEAL (we are still best friends), fairly pudgy, unassuming guy..we didn't learn he was a SEAL until later. As we went forward in the AOCS program it became clear that Mike was a very talented, quiet leader, never raised his voice and always circled back for the lesser guys. I learned a lot from Mike that I carried forward in the military.

So, CP hasn't been a first impression type of judgment on my part for a long time...far too much evidence to the contrary.

While a person may be exuding self-confidence, by weaker meeker easily intimidated people it can be construed as arrogance.

I think the real talent is adaptation to your audience level, to get answers without even asking a question.

Seals are an interesting example of leadership. While I have known a few in my career, they all have extraordinary leadership skills but for the most part are not rowdy chest beating kind of guys. You usually don't know they are seals until it comes out in a passing conversation. They don't wear it on their sleeves, they don't have to but when the rubber meets the road, they can be counted on without exception. They are extraordinary individuals, no question. However, their presence is not commanding, it is more something that they exude.

I have known leaders in business and the military who can work a room but it's apparent when you are talking to them, they're looking for the next key contact or someone more important to talk with, that is not command presence to me, but arrogance. They just want to advance their own agenda.

To me someone w/ command presence can make you feel important, yet comfortable and they make you want to follow their example. Leadership w/o intimidation.

It can be taught, but few have the natural knack for it. That is my experience, FWIW.

I think it something that can be taught, but there are those that are born with it. It's like the difference between someone that's talented in a sport and someone that's a world-class athlete.

All the schools, experiences, jobs will give the person the talent to have a CP, but that perosn that has the right genes, plus all the rest is the world-class CP. Yes, you'll see in the GOs, many of the SNCOs in the select jobs, as well as the executives in those same jobs. As the rest have all said and alluded...you'll know that world-class CP when you see him/her.

I think it something that can be taught, but there are those that are born with it. It's like the difference between someone that's talented in a sport and someone that's a world-class athlete.

All the schools, experiences, jobs will give the person the talent to have a CP, but that perosn that has the right genes, plus all the rest is the world-class CP. Yes, you'll see in the GOs, many of the SNCOs in the select jobs, as well as the executives in those same jobs. As the rest have all said and alluded...you'll know that world-class CP when you see him/her.

I agree with this. It can be taught, but those that are most impressive also have a natural talent.

It's like teaching someone the piano. Anyone can learn it, but a really great pianist will also have a natural talent for the instrument.

Search on the book and author "you say more than you think" by janine driver. She has some tips on how you can overcome your natural "look" to appear more in command, etc. An interesting read.

A number of years ago I grew annoyed by a professor's description of proper "management" styles so, being the shy guy I am, I asked a question. I made the observation that there appears to be little correlation between managers who have attended many management classes.......and managers to whom workers look up and feel deep loyalty. Dr. Kohls smiled and said "This is a Management class. What you are describing is called 'leadership'."

Short answer to your question is that leadership is WAY harder to teach than management.

Yes, Command Presence can be taught.

I believe the natural part comes from your father and his father, it's a learned experience that passes thur the generations of family.

Yes, the command presense is taught at the academies but it is given to them in many forms from the yelling and screaming to the polite reasoning and it is ultimately the choice of the individual what type he/she will emulate.

Ok, this is encouraging. It looks like the consensus is that:
1 - Command presence is something that can be taught. Obviously better to be born with it, but I'm not that lucky, so I'll have to learn it.
2 - It isn't leadership, which isn't management, but enough experience doing leadership could result in improved command presence.
3 - @widgeon13, specifically: "To me someone w/ command presence can make you feel important, yet comfortable and they make you want to follow their example." That's a great leader if I've ever heard one described, but ... how do you get there?

I've just started a new job where I'll be intentionally surrounding myself with people who are better leaders than I am. The majority of my new coworkers are senior businessmen and ex Naval Officers. I'll be making a point of carefully observing their body language, the way they interact with people, and trying to emulate them as well as I can.

@VaSteve -- I've ordered Janine Driver's book, thanks for the recommendation. I've read some other texts on nonverbal communication with no particularly compelling results, so I'm looking forward to this.

So on the thought that this can, theoretically, be taught ... how? Aside from simply watching other people who have CP, are there other books that are worthwhile to help me pick out the salient points? Will joining Toastmasters help?

Thanks,
Dan

4 - Never let 'em see you smile.

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Is your experience from attending one of the academies because not everyone who attends an academy has command presence, many lack other skills as well.

Mein Gott In Himmel....you understand...

It has to do with courage of your convictions. Being willing to state what you believe in spite of the odds. That will usually lead to being under fire at one time or another...ones mettle being tested does give a quiet confidence.

Also a question for the original poster...are you sure it is not the suit that is making the man have an aura of command presence.

Usually I don't find that military officers of high rank have that much sagacity. their thinking is usually very rigid and hierarchical. Peterus is the exception...he in affect translates amorphous warfare techniques into the western hierarchical model. It might be titled , "How to Fight Insurgencies for Dummies"

I think the really great military commanders of history thought of warfare in the most unmilitary of terms..being able to asses the strengths and weaknesses of their foes and by observing when opportunity knocked.

Robert E Lee for example knew all the commanders he faced and as such knew what their predilections were. Thus he was able to be predictive of their behavior. During the Spring campaign of 1864 Lee was able to predict and counter every move Grant made. Grant in turn knew that attrition would trump intuition. Lee had to know that as well, but was determined to make Grant pay. The day at Cold Harbor was a a day Grant always regretted.


Also take Bonaparte...one of his observations was that a general had a shelf life of 7 years before he either became rusty or sloppy..maybe that was the learning curve..after 7 years you just fall back on what you know and stop being inovative. In which time your enemies can learn your method.

Don't try to be something or someone you're not.

Dan, it looks like you are interested in this art form, and that means you will be learning. One of the most important things my momma told me is that getting good at something is as simple as liking it. If you like it, you will do it. Read about it. Watch it in practice. Practice yourself. I have walked this Earth with the certain knowledge that I will become good at the things I enjoy. Mom was correct.

I'll start you out with some ridiculously simple observations. First, as mentioned above, leaders do not lose their temper. In my world there are lots of meetings. Negotiations. Anger is a contest. The first one that loses their temper........loses.

Keep your mouth mostly shut. Study after study shows that peoples' perception of your intelligence level is inversely proportional to how much you speak. In meetings, I have noticed that the perfect posture is to lean back in your chair (if the chair leans back) and possibly move a couple of inches further from the table. Let everyone else do the talking. Once or twice during the meeting, lean forward........and ask a question. Then lean back again and shut up.

Be engaged. All the best comrades I know are busy, and hungry for more information, relationships, etc. Return ALL your phone calls. Look people in the eye. Be relaxed, but be interested.

Nod your head. Up and down as if saying "yes." When do do this while other talk, they will think you are listening. When you do this while you are talking, they will agree with you.

Do not be in a hurry. Leaders are not people who intuitively know the right course of action. Instead, they are people who know how to gather enough information and consensus to identify the right course of action. Consensus is HUGELY important, since it gets others working in parallel and bought into the outcome.

Catch people doing stuff right. Praise works. Criticism does not.

When you catch people doing stuff right, and if you do this consistently, those people will think you have good judgement. Let me say that another way: When you tell people they are valuable and that their decisions are good and their methods are good......they will think you have good judgement. Ability to discern. works like a charm.

So does saying someone's name. Everyone's favorite word is their name.

Show up early. Seriously. Be the first one in the office each day. This intimidates the hell out of your co-workers. In a good way.

widgeon13, no, I did not attend any academy, my youngest son did graduate from USNA this yr.

I can remember my son calling home in his second yr there, he wanted out, he couldn't stand the petty BS of his fellow classmates who actually came from top racked military officers or congressman.

I reminded him that to make the best sword, the metal must first be pounded very hard, when you struggle, character is built, when it is tough, endurance is built and when you feel pain, empathy for others in simular circumstances is built. He stuck it out and graduated and is very happy with is decision.

One other point I have been telling my children for their entire lives is ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS, its that simple.

and one more thing, always thank people, they do have a choice.

Some are managers, some are leaders....there is a huge difference.

Ditto...the collorary as Clint said it, "A mans got to know his limitations."

[QUOTE=gatotom;5588233



I reminded him that to make the best sword, the metal must first be pounded very hard, when you struggle, character is built, when it is tough, endurance is built and when you feel pain, empathy for others in simular circumstances is built. He stuck it out and graduated and is very happy with is decision.

One other point I have been telling my children for their entire lives is ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS, its that simple.

and one more thing, always thank people, they do have a choice.[/QUOTE]

Good advice and there is truth in the words...

Humm command presence...you have it, or you don't...:D
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I always knew you had some good sense...even though you are a Liberal...

You understand the principles...but it sounds like you read a manual instead of pounding out each principle in the cauldron and coming to the conclusion as an ingrained principle

where I disagree and know your off is in the "intuitive" part...the word intuition needs more definition than I am willing to give it at the moment. However that belies courage of conviction and as TABS has said the art of being influential is to do it without one knowing it is being done. To be able to shape and move the discussion in the direction of ones chosing.

Lincoln in my estimation belongs in the pantheon of world leaders, more so than any other American leader. Lincoln relied almost exclusively on that broadly interpreted word of intuition...emotion...

Just take a look at his reasoning for when he released the Emancipation Proclamation..Lincoln understood the motivations and sensibilities of men, his timing was almost impeccable. IT ALL CAME FROM THE CAULDRON that was his life..

As I have said from day one...he seperates his intellect from his emotion...and as such that causes him not to do well in real time and causes him to make missteps as he doesn't have the luxury of time to analyze. In other words he hs no bottom end or gut feeling to tell him when he is on the right track.

Dan

I'm re-reading your OP here and I have to add some additional comments since I'm not on the mobile phone.

Yes, it can be "taught" whether folks can learn it is their own issue. The book I offered gives some quick hints on stuff to do immediately to improve various situations (I wish I had known you were local, I could lend you my copy...I'm in DC every day).

The question you ask is more fundamental. You mention looking like your in command but refer to first impressions. This is where it breaks down. Many an empty suit casts a big shadow at first but loses all credibility when they a) open their mouth or b) try to deliver on something and can't follow through.

Leadership ability (or who's in charge) is not always assessed correctly at the first meeting...many a sales guy or a restaurant waiter has made that mistake. :)

Looking like you're in control of the situation and Being in control of the situation are two different things.....ask the guys in PARF. :D

When I think of a person like this, Roger Penske comes up first. He's a leader by just being in the same room. Does not say much because he's been around so long in that capacity. He delegates and finds good people around him.

your right but more elaboration is needed..

So your saying he did it the old fashioned way of working for it...and as such he knows it like the back of his hands and intutivily just goes to the right place and at the right time.

Substance over image...

Isn't it amazing that Lincoln only spent 2 years in Congress as a Represenativein the late 1840's ..that was the only elected office he ever held before he became President. The rest of his career he was an attorney and a supporter of his political party. Linclon ran numerous times but lost ...So Obama all in all has more Legislative and governmental experience than Lincoln had...

If it comes down to experience Libcoln should have been the failure and Obama the great man.

So what is the differemce in the men that would contriibute to such different outcomes..

That was my point. Dan asked about image, but confused it with substance. Having true substance often radiates the image. Then you have the other extreme...too much substance...ask any scientist or know it all wonk. They know it all and aren't afraid to let you know they know it all. The same guys that would get run over by the bus in their highwater pants and mismatched socks. :)

Took the words right out of my typing finger. I was just reading this thread for the first time, thinking about self-confidence, which is basically what we are talking about here. You need to be secure in who you are and not overly concerned with what others might think of you; whether or not they are impressed, etc...

It helps to be a little older and to have "paid your dues", at least in my experience. I have absolutely no one to impress in this world, I'm at peace w/ myself and others and I think that it is apparent most of the time. I've seen the man behind the curtain and met a lot of my heros on this earth, it's always a pleasure but I don't feel like I need to *measure up* to them or anyone else. I'm a one-off roadster, not another one like it in the world. ;)

I've had the advantage of being around great and humble men, they inspire. There is no way that I could ever puff my chest out or hang my head like a coward after meeting Sydney Poitier or George Harrison, (or Seahawk's Admiral), I wanted to be like them. I never will be, but it's all in the striving, son...:cool:

I've done a little studying on Lincoln this year (we have used his experience as a backdrop to a leadership class at my work). I think in those days you certainly had a lot more time to reflect on things aside from being in the 24 hour news/twitter/youtube/facebook environment. Without the media, other things matter. Lincoln was a ugly dude with a supposedly high pitched reedy voice. You couldn't elect a guy like that today no matter the qualifications.

Ok...don't confuse intellect with all that there is to substance..substance is the blend of intellect with emotion..