"Command Presence." Can it be learned?

djmcmath · 09-29-2010, 03:05 AM

Ok, I've got a leadership question for the group.

There are some men whose mere presence commands respect. They walk into the room and people just say "That guy must be the leader, even though he hasn't said anything yet." The ones that I've met are mostly Admirals and Captains, though I'm also finding a few of these among senior businessmen now that I'm out of the Navy. I would suspect that a number of you also possess this attribute.

Is this something that can be learned, or is it just something these people were born with? Public speaking, assertiveness training, reading more books on leadership ... is there anything that can be done to train this attribute? Thoughts?

Thanks,
Dan

cbush · 09-29-2010, 03:24 AM

Self confidence is the primary factor. Staying cool under pressure. Dressing the part helps. Watch people you think have this attribute and emulate them. All three of your suggestions on how to get this are good, but help you with the items above- particularly self confidence.

widgeon13 · 09-29-2010, 03:25 AM

I think it is an acquired trait in some people but others have it from day one. One of the traits that needs to be present is to be a very good listener and the ability to analyze things before responding. Many people have a physical presence but the minute they open their mouth the aura is lost because they start shooting from the hip.

Command presence is the ability to get the attention of many and still hold their respect without the use or perception of intimidation. People want to pursue your ideas and be around you because they respect you and see that if they can execute with your assistance it will lead to greater success for everyone.

I would also say that from my prospective, military experience can be a factor contributing to having command presence but is not a critical ingredient in every situation.

It's a great question and this should be an interesting thread discussion.

p911dad · p911dad's Garage

I noticed over the years in a bunch of situations certain individuals have that "command presence", but most do not, or play at it.
The guys that had it were all ex-military and seemed to have the right tone and volume in their voice, had a good physical appearance(meaning neatly dressed for the occasion), and no matter what could contain their emotions and stay in point, no hysterics. Confident.
So I would offer that it is learned, probably officer training school and by having ready examples to model your behavior.

ckissick · 09-29-2010, 06:06 AM

I think history has shown that it is something you are just born with - for the most part. There are many British monarchs over the centuries who have been described as "weak" or "not respected".

For example, one of the King Williams from way back was called Silly Billy behind his back. These past monarchs must have received leadership training, but they failed, although there are probably some exceptions.

Some just have it, some can learn it, and some are hopeless.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

I watch Cops all the time and have seen a few of the cops try to describe "command presence." It really goes out the window when they scream at the top of their lungs like they're high on adrenaline and emotion. Some people are just not going to listen or do as they're told. Screaming even louder at them doesn't change that, but makes the screamer look silly and out of control. I wish they'd teach that in the academies.

Jagshund · 09-29-2010, 06:20 AM

Walk with your back straight and never be afraid to lock eyes. But don't puff your chest out or walk around with feathers on your arse.

Seahawk · 09-29-2010, 06:24 AM

Always an interesting question...

The "walk into a room" presence is for the most part intrinsic but can be learned over time with experience and wisdom.

In my experience there is no archetype, no real outward signal of CP...

When I was a white water rafting guide as a kid, I made the mistake of confusing my passengers outward bravado with courage. More than once in big water the hulksters were in the middle of the raft while the slightly built wife or girlfriends were still on the rail paddling.

Same in the military. My roommate in AOCS was a prior enlisted SEAL (we are still best friends), fairly pudgy, unassuming guy..we didn't learn he was a SEAL until later. As we went forward in the AOCS program it became clear that Mike was a very talented, quiet leader, never raised his voice and always circled back for the lesser guys. I learned a lot from Mike that I carried forward in the military.

So, CP hasn't been a first impression type of judgment on my part for a long time...far too much evidence to the contrary.

Rusty Heap · Rusty Heap's Garage

While a person may be exuding self-confidence, by weaker meeker easily intimidated people it can be construed as arrogance.

I think the real talent is adaptation to your audience level, to get answers without even asking a question.

widgeon13 · 09-29-2010, 07:07 AM

Seals are an interesting example of leadership. While I have known a few in my career, they all have extraordinary leadership skills but for the most part are not rowdy chest beating kind of guys. You usually don't know they are seals until it comes out in a passing conversation. They don't wear it on their sleeves, they don't have to but when the rubber meets the road, they can be counted on without exception. They are extraordinary individuals, no question. However, their presence is not commanding, it is more something that they exude.

I have known leaders in business and the military who can work a room but it's apparent when you are talking to them, they're looking for the next key contact or someone more important to talk with, that is not command presence to me, but arrogance. They just want to advance their own agenda.

To me someone w/ command presence can make you feel important, yet comfortable and they make you want to follow their example. Leadership w/o intimidation.

Gretch · 09-29-2010, 07:08 AM

It can be taught, but few have the natural knack for it. That is my experience, FWIW.

Erakad · Erakad's Garage

I think it something that can be taught, but there are those that are born with it. It's like the difference between someone that's talented in a sport and someone that's a world-class athlete.

All the schools, experiences, jobs will give the person the talent to have a CP, but that perosn that has the right genes, plus all the rest is the world-class CP. Yes, you'll see in the GOs, many of the SNCOs in the select jobs, as well as the executives in those same jobs. As the rest have all said and alluded...you'll know that world-class CP when you see him/her.

Erakad · Erakad's Garage

I think it something that can be taught, but there are those that are born with it. It's like the difference between someone that's talented in a sport and someone that's a world-class athlete.

All the schools, experiences, jobs will give the person the talent to have a CP, but that perosn that has the right genes, plus all the rest is the world-class CP. Yes, you'll see in the GOs, many of the SNCOs in the select jobs, as well as the executives in those same jobs. As the rest have all said and alluded...you'll know that world-class CP when you see him/her.

Dottore · 09-29-2010, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gretch

It can be taught, but few have the natural knack for it. That is my experience, FWIW.

I agree with this. It can be taught, but those that are most impressive also have a natural talent.

It's like teaching someone the piano. Anyone can learn it, but a really great pianist will also have a natural talent for the instrument.

VaSteve · 09-29-2010, 08:50 AM

Search on the book and author "you say more than you think" by janine driver. She has some tips on how you can overcome your natural "look" to appear more in command, etc. An interesting read.

Superman · 09-29-2010, 09:34 AM

A number of years ago I grew annoyed by a professor's description of proper "management" styles so, being the shy guy I am, I asked a question. I made the observation that there appears to be little correlation between managers who have attended many management classes.......and managers to whom workers look up and feel deep loyalty. Dr. Kohls smiled and said "This is a Management class. What you are describing is called 'leadership'."

Short answer to your question is that leadership is WAY harder to teach than management.

gatotom · 09-29-2010, 01:49 PM

Yes, Command Presence can be taught.

I believe the natural part comes from your father and his father, it's a learned experience that passes thur the generations of family.

Yes, the command presense is taught at the academies but it is given to them in many forms from the yelling and screaming to the polite reasoning and it is ultimately the choice of the individual what type he/she will emulate.

djmcmath · 09-29-2010, 01:59 PM

Ok, this is encouraging. It looks like the consensus is that:
1 - Command presence is something that can be taught. Obviously better to be born with it, but I'm not that lucky, so I'll have to learn it.
2 - It isn't leadership, which isn't management, but enough experience doing leadership could result in improved command presence.
3 - @widgeon13, specifically: "To me someone w/ command presence can make you feel important, yet comfortable and they make you want to follow their example." That's a great leader if I've ever heard one described, but ... how do you get there?

I've just started a new job where I'll be intentionally surrounding myself with people who are better leaders than I am. The majority of my new coworkers are senior businessmen and ex Naval Officers. I'll be making a point of carefully observing their body language, the way they interact with people, and trying to emulate them as well as I can.

@VaSteve -- I've ordered Janine Driver's book, thanks for the recommendation. I've read some other texts on nonverbal communication with no particularly compelling results, so I'm looking forward to this.

So on the thought that this can, theoretically, be taught ... how? Aside from simply watching other people who have CP, are there other books that are worthwhile to help me pick out the salient points? Will joining Toastmasters help?

Thanks,
Dan

Heel n Toe · 09-29-2010, 02:10 PM

4 - Never let 'em see you smile.

widgeon13 · 09-29-2010, 02:24 PM

Is your experience from attending one of the academies because not everyone who attends an academy has command presence, many lack other skills as well.

Quote:

Yes, Command Presence can be taught.

I believe the natural part comes from your father and his father, it's a learned experience that passes thur the generations of family.

Yes, the command presense is taught at the academies but it is given to them in many forms from the yelling and screaming to the polite reasoning and it is ultimately the choice of the individual what type he/she will emulate.