Military rules

[DARISC]

Military Rules

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a '4.'
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10... Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11... Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12... In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13... If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; it can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a ****tail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask 'What is a gunfight?'
5. Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' Power Point presentation.
6. Wine & dine ''key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

( And I Love This Next One)

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

Go Navy !

And the next... (You've got to love the military, and God bless them all.)

U.S. Navy Directive 16134 ( Inappropriate T-Shirts )

The following directive was issued by the commanding officer of all naval installations in the Middle East . (It was obviously directed at the Marines.)

To: All Commands Subject: Inappropriate T-Shirts
Ref: ComMidEast For Inst 16134//24 K

All commanders promulgate upon receipt.
The following T-shirts are no longer to be worn on or off base by any military or civilian personnel serving in the Middle East :

1. 'Eat Pork or Die' [both English and Arabic versions]
2.. 'Shrine Busters' [Various. Show burning minarets or bomb/artillery shells impacting Islamic shrines. Some with unit logos.]
3.. 'Napalm, Sticks Like Crazy' [Both English and Arabic versions]
4.. 'Goat - it isn't just for breakfast any more.' [Both English and Arabic versions]
5.. 'The road to Paradise begins with me.' [Mostly Arabic versions, but some in English. Some show sniper scope cross-hairs.]
6.. 'Guns don't kill people. I kill people.' [Both Arabic and English versions]
7.. 'Pork. The other white meat.' [Arabic version]
8.. 'Infidel' [English, Arabic and other coalition force languages.]

The above T-shirts are to be removed from Post Exchanges upon receipt of this directive. In addition, the following signs are to be removed upon receipt of this message:

1.. 'Islamic Religious Services Will Be Held at the Firing Range at 0800 Daily.'
2.. 'Do we really need 'smart bombs' to drop on these dumb bastards?'

All commands are instructed to implement sensitivity training upon receipt.

[lane912]

killing people is supposed to politically correct???

[James Brown]

As a retired Navy hugely important person, I find this to be 100% accurate especially the Air Force part!! Thanks DARISC!! I'm using that.

[Tobra]

Excellent, a repost, but still excellent.

[rcecale]

Darisc, I don't believe I've agreed with a single word you're posted over in PARF, but here in "Regular" OT, your POV is spot-on!

Randy
USMC 1980 - 2000

[Rot 911]

Originally Posted by DARISC

Military Rules

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Speaking from experience, this is spot on! Except for the walking out with 75lbs in the rucksack. What really happens is you are throwing away everything you don't need to get out!

[Schumi]

Military kids like to talk a lot of talk nowdays.. geez.

An old buddy of mine just joined the Marines. We keep up together through facebook. For the 2 months leading up to his shipping out, before he was even a Marine, all he would do is post crap for people to see like "Top 10 ways Marines can kill you" or "Why Marines are better than everyone else" sorta stuff.

Which I equate to me posting a "Top 10 reasons it's so cool to be a racecar driver" for my friends to read every 20 minutes.

Anyways, I did find the lists above funny

[DARISC]

Originally Posted by Schumi

...Anyways, I did find the lists above funny

I'm sure there are five more or more of these out there to chuckle at. This one's obviously the Marine's perspective.

[GH85Carrera]

It is a funny list.

My dad was an Air Force pilot. I asked him once why he chose the Air Force. He said it was simple. The Navy guys go to sea for months at a time, the mud Marines are owned by the Navy and go on the same ship but they have to slog through the mud. The Army just follow the Marines. But the Air Force guys kiss their wife goodby in the morning, go do the re-supply of the troups living at the front. Then they blow up the guys the Marines can’t kill, and air support of the other branches, fly home have a beer at the O-club, and get a home cooked meal and go to bed snuggled with the wife. He used to play golf with a 2 star general on the weekends. They always got the 9:30 tee time, even if they just decided to play.

[gt350mike]

Can't forget Murphy's Military Law-
# Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
-No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
-The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
-The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
-If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
-If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.