healthy eating? Please help

[id10t]

Shamelessly taken from another forum, complete w/ green text.



Someone stated here that I cant buy my groceries at Walmart. Only other chain grocery store in my area is Kroger. They are union owned and they treat the elderly employees unfairly so I dont shop there. We have a few discount places where you buy canned corn that falls through the tines on the fork when you try to eat it or canned greenbeans that only have the ends still left on them. I was unaware that all the food I buy at Walmart was genetically modified. I figure my local resturants use the same brand canned goods to prepare their food so now I'm stumped. Its getting dinner time and I am getting hungry. I dont want to poison my body but have no place to buy my food now. I guess I need to take the hippie way out and go on a hunger strike. I cant eat the American grown soybeans in the field across from my house as they spray poison on their plants to keep the weeds down. Cant eat the deer in my area because they eat said soybeans. Oh, I forgot, I cant buy produce from California because they fertalize their fields with human feces. Damn, I'm hungry. Please help before I starve to death.

[Zeke]

Drink imported beer and be done with it.

[enzo1]

Originally Posted by milt

Drink imported beer and be done with it.

[PorscheGAL]

Funny.

[M.D. Holloway]

Someone has to Nut-Up!

[GH85Carrera]

I can tell you it is not healthy to NOT eat you will die from not eating in short order. It has to be health to eat. Does that help?

[Chuforia]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain is Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried the! se days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLOooo . . . Cocoa Beans? Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride' AND . . .

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[Stone Cold]

Chicken breast with the seasoning natures seasoning on it is really good. I eat it for lunch when I'm on diets. You just sprinkle the seasoning on it and grill it, it's really good.