You Can Pick Your Friends, but You Can't...

[Seahawk]

Interesting day Saturday.

My son's best friend got caught at school passing a pot brownie. He is a great kid, I thought, runs cross country and track with Jack, the two are very close and His parents are great folks, Dad a retired Marine EA-6B flight officer.

I grilled Jack on his involvement with this little drama. None. Pot? None. I'm not stupid...I've got too much to lose.

So James calls me on Saturday morning.

"Mr. Morgan, I'd like to come and talk to you."

"Ok. What time?"

James shows up at 4pm, very nervous. I tell Jack and James to go ride the dirt bikes around the farm a few times and then we'll go for a ride.

They do and then we all get in the truck, James in front, Jack in back.

"What's on your mind, James?"

"I wanted you to hear it from me, what I did...Jack is my best friend and I don't want to lose that..."

With that, he tells me the story...there is, of course, more. We get to the fact that he has smoked pot on two occasions and hasn't told his parents about that. Interesting to sit, so many years later, reliving my little pot heritage and horrors with such a young, smart man.

So. I tell him a few things. First, I let him know that I smoked pot, why it is stupid on levels he hasn't a clue about. Second, he has got to tell his parents the whole story because, if not, he is not welcome at my home, nor is Jack at his.

He says he's done with his mistakes.

I told him we spoke in confidence and I trust him to not return unless he honors my request.

Mistakes are easy, facing the consequences are the measure of a man.

Much more, but I wanted to share the fact that there are really good, young men out there. Like Jack, he wants to become a Marine Infantry Officer.

We sometimes forget the right kids sometimes do the wrong thing.

Anyway: Enjoy the rest of the day!

[Rikao4]

he values your respect..
fact that he does and came..
IMO says alot about Seahawk..
& your parenting skills..

Rika

[pwd72s]

Originally Posted by rikao4

he values your respect..
Fact that he does and came..
Imo says alot about seahawk..
& your parenting skills..

Rika

+1

[Jeff Higgins]

Well done, Paul. James sounds like a good kid at heart. He certainly has a fine mentor, and a man he can clearly trust and respect in addition to his own father. Not many young men are that lucky.

[mossguy]

Well done, Captain!

Best,
Tom

[Geronimo '74]

Well done, you could not have handled this any better. You taught them both a very valuable lesson, one they will remember for the rest of their life, I'm sure.

[Superman]

There are small moments in young men's lives that determine his course. Most of the time is spent playing grab-ass, hanging out, messing around.......but there are a few moments of truth. Moments of true learning. I'm very glad you were there, Paul, to demonstrate what leadership and honor look like.

[Oh Haha]

Originally Posted by pwd72s

+1

+1000

What a moment that the young man shared with you!

[RPKESQ]

Excellent on your part. First class and you are a credit to fatherhood.

But disturbing that he went to you instead of his own father. Marine or not, he has not been able to connect with his child as all parents should be able to. No telling what problems exist in that relationship. Be forwarned.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by RPKESQ

Excellent on your part. First class and you are a credit to fatherhood.

But disturbing that he went to you instead of his own father. Marine or not, he has not been able to connect with his child as all parents should be able to. No telling what problems exist in that relationship. Be forwarned.

RPKESQ,

You are exactly right...all those thoughts crossed my mind. The key is his parents were aware of the brownie, not the two circumstances with smoking.

But then, I had a very similar experience and the thought of further disappointing my parents with more bad news was heart wrenching...a comment on my behavior not on our relationship.

We did talk about it. One of the things I told James was to never forget how his gut feels just thinking of telling his parents the real truth...use that as motivation for waving-off any further peer advances on what he knows is the right path.

Lastly, what I did was easy...James is doing the hard part.

The cool thing is my son has mentors, men he looks up to and would trust given similar circumstances.

[TSNAPCRACKLEPOP]

i never made just one brownie, usually a bakers dozen

[vash]

nice strategy. my troubles were not drug related..but that is another story.

again, nice..no great strategy. you treated him with respect and as an adult. he wont dissapoint.

my friend's mom would beat his ass for the same reason. korean lady. my friend is currently a deadbeat, selling so he can keep smoking.

[TSNAPCRACKLEPOP]

i didn't consider it my job or as a means of support!

[Superman]

I'll confess to making and eating brownies. But I did NOT inhale.

[tabs]

James is a stand up kid...for just coming to you and talking about it..we shall see what he does wid his own Daddy, and what happens there.

If his Daddy reacts REAL badly, U have one more mission to fly with the KID..and that is to tell him yeah ya done wrong, but are to be applauded for not running from the truth.and standing up like a man That it is a SHAME that yer Daddy doesn't see it that way, but you see we are all flawed creatures, so there is no reason for ya to go off the deep end if yer daddy is one of those creatures. U can't help that but only be better than that and do what ya think is right. End of sermon.

And you think your little boy hasn't had a hit? really now? I would take the LV odds that he has.

Just remember when you were a little wet behind the ears shave tail and all the rebellious BS stuff U did...and U seem to have grown up OK????

James is so honest he got caught....isn't that an interesting point of view?

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by tabs

And you think your little boy hasn't had a hit? really now? I would take the LV odds that he has.

Las Vegas odds? I'd bet my life.

You don't know young men like my son and should be ashamed that you don't.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Las Vegas odds? I'd bet my life.

You don't know young men like my son and should be ashamed that you don't.

Well, that's an interesting statement. I certainly don't know any kids that are that stand up and I won't be ashamed.

I will congratulate you for having that kind of relationship with your son AND his best friend.

Another thought just entered my mind: perhaps I don't deserve to know someone like your son because I may not be able to be the role model he has.

I'm still not ashamed.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by Superman

There are small moments in young men's lives that determine his course. Most of the time is spent playing grab-ass, hanging out, messing around.......but there are a few moments of truth. Moments of true learning. I'm very glad you were there, Paul, to demonstrate what leadership and honor look like.

Well said. It speaks well both to your son's friend and you that he had the nerve to discuss the issue with you.

[Jim Bremner]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

Las Vegas odds? I'd bet my life.

You don't know young men like my son and should be ashamed that you don't.

I firmly belive that my 4 boys haven't. Eldest has had some beer prior to turning 21

[crustychief]

Great job Paul.