How would react if your spouse asked you...

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Often it is easier to get situated in a new area and find jobs, etc when you are there rather than from 1K miles away.

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[Rikao4]

that stuff will only enhance this comedy..
why is so hard to say NO..
guilt...
FF should not be made too feel guilty..
it's a piss poor plan..
bet they devote more thinking on what flannel shirt to wear...

Rika

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by Rikao4

that stuff will only enhance this comedy..
why is so hard to say NO..
guilt...
FF should not be made too feel guilty..
it's a piss poor plan..
bet they devote more thinking on what flannel shirt to wear...

Rika

Of course it's a bad plan.

It is interesting that from what I can see, the only ones that disagree either have no experience in being married/raising a family, or have had, shall we say, "mixed results" in that arena.

[Rick Lee]

I'm dreading the day my wife says her mom is coming to visit from China. Last time she was supposed to stay for six weeks and that became six months. I fear it will be worse next time, since I now work from home and she wouldn't be able to drive here.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Just as I said, folks making their own narrative.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Crazy talk. They're man-hating lesbians. What else do you need to know?

What I don't get is how he went from "I actually like her sister, we get along well, her life partner is ok, but she is a little opinionated and outspoken." to "man hating lesbians."

What will the black kids become?

[teenerted1]

why are the moving?
they already have jobs and a home they want to move from Texas to PA????

they have a problem with their neighbors down there?
is PA more tolerant to their lifestyle?
your wife interested in 3-way?

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by Brando

Just me, but I would help family. Of course, there would be an explicit time limit set. If they're successful in their medical fields, they can start applying now for the area they wish to live in. Logistics are always an issue, and in a situation like this I wouldn't give an affirmative answer unless they knew exactly when they would be moving into their own place. I wouldn't give them more than a month, otherwise, they suck at planning.

At first glance I would agree and want to help family... but on second thought this looks like a train wreak waiting to happen... as other have said a few months could turn into years then you are looking at kicking family out... at which point you will be called a homophob and racist.

Originally Posted by RANDY P

Start bathroom remodels or decide to rip the kitchen out now.

rjp

Gold!

[Gretch]

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

What I don't get is how he went from "I actually like her sister, we get along well, her life partner is ok, but she is a little opinionated and outspoken." to "man hating lesbians."

What will the black kids become?

You are such a bleeding heart, YOU take em in.........

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by nostatic

feh - forget that. They're *lesbians* who dared to adopt *kids* - and *African* ones at that. Enough bad decisions there to swamp out any other factors.

Even if it were his sister, husband, and their two children (and one a 15 month old!)... still a bad idea IMHO too little of a house for so many people.

"Set a firm move out date" Ha ha ha... you guys crack me up!!! Yeaaah relatives always move out on schedule.

[scottmandue]

If they own property why don't the sell it to buy something on there own?

[azasadny]

I'm renting a fully furnished 1bdrm apt in Okemos, MI (Lansing) for $1600 a month, which includes all utilities, Internet, etc... While I'm here working on a project for my company. I drive home on Fridays... Not too bad for a few months... good option for some, but I'm guessing these people don't (or can't) spend any $, so they want to freeload as long as they can... just sayin'...

[fastfredracing]

Wow, this thread has gone viral. There are a lot of variables at work here, and maybe I should have been more specific. The lesbians plan on selling their home before they move here, whether or not that happens in this economy I cannot predict. They only want to stay with us while they are looking for a home, they plan on coming here with money in the bank ready to purchase. They have been in town for the last two weeks and have been home shopping. They are not just throwing caution to the wind , packing the station wagon and leaving town, they are , and have been planning this out for some time now. They will most likely have employment before they move to the area. They are grown adults and are responsible people, I truly believe in my heart that it is not their intention to mooch off us, or to try to save money while living for free in our home.
There are several reasons they want to leave Texas. they want to be closer to family, a large family. They feel Pa will be a better enviroment for two homosexuals with adopted ethnic children. Plus they said the area in which they live in is going to hell in a basket, crime, drugs, poverty etc.
My lady is as much against this as I am. We do have 4 bedrooms, but they are small, one is converted into a walk in closet, and the other is more or less storage. We have limited closet space, and no basement. We would be really crammed in here with 7 people. We probably will let them stay real short term , maybe less than one month if it becomes necessary.
And while their lifestyle does not bother me in particular, I really do not know if I approve of it enough to have them live in my home, I cant help it, but it makes me a little uncomfortable. I do not want to have to walk on eggshells in my own house. I am about as white boy roy as they come. And, just to clarify, when I called them man hating lesbians, that was tongue in cheek. I do get along with them pretty well, I will go as far to say that I love her sister.( in a friendly sort of way you sicko's)
I am pretty sure this will not happen, there is a god!, But when my lady asked me about it the other night, I about shat myself.
Carry on.

[Racerbvd]

Originally Posted by Shaun 84 Targa

What I don't get is how he went from "I actually like her sister, we get along well, her life partner is ok, but she is a little opinionated and outspoken." to "man hating lesbians."

What will the black kids become?

Well, sad, there is a good chance they won't be normal, sorry, while they have a better chance now thanks than they would in Africa, but 2 butch mommas, living off a BIL isn't going to make for a normal life.. As others have stated, it is had enough raising a family under ideal circumstances..

[rnln]

If they are nice, neet, and responsible, help them.
If they are messy, irresponsible, messing up your house, don't help. If you have to, offer to help renting them another small place.
It's always good to help people but if there is a risk breaking up your house/family, don't.

[Rick Lee]

Fastfred, you must know how the mortgage process works and how long it takes to close on a house. Unless they plan on paying cash for their house, they will need and not get a mortgage without adequate income/employment. And don't forget most lenders require a few paystubs from the new job. And God forbid they want to buy a distressed property. My wife and I were as qualified as the day is long and it took us six mos. to close on this latest house because it was a short sale. Didn't matter if we paid cash or not. This stuff takes a while and can fall apart very easily in this current real estate and mortgage environment.

[pwd72s]

Fastfred, wishing you well...while at the same time being thankful that your problem is not my problem...

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

If her lesbian sister, and her life partner, and their two adopted african american children( 8, and 14 months old) could live with you for a while?. I am not a racist, and their life style does not really bother me, but day um. Say what hon?.
They are moving up to Pa from Texas, and have not found a house or jobs yet, and asked her if they could stay with us for a couple of months. I actually like her sister, we get along well, her life partner is ok, but she is a little opinionated and outspoken.
Right now, I am the king of my castle, the master of my domain ( don't tell her I said that)., but I am scared for my future.
I have pretty much stated that I am not on board for this one, and it really has nothing to do with the ethnic background of their children, or their lifestyle choices. I just cant imagine sharing my home with a family who is already larger than ours. We have a medium sized 4 bdrm ranch house out in the country, and we are already cozy with 3 people. I cannot imagine what 7 people in this house would be like. I have also been on a 5 year mission of remodeling, the kitchen is next, big project, and having a couple of babies around sort of bothers me a little.
I may be spending a lot of time in the shop in the near future.

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Wow, this thread has gone viral. There are a lot of variables at work here, and maybe I should have been more specific. The lesbians plan on selling their home before they move here, whether or not that happens in this economy I cannot predict. They only want to stay with us while they are looking for a home, they plan on coming here with money in the bank ready to purchase. They have been in town for the last two weeks and have been home shopping. They are not just throwing caution to the wind , packing the station wagon and leaving town, they are , and have been planning this out for some time now. They will most likely have employment before they move to the area. They are grown adults and are responsible people, I truly believe in my heart that it is not their intention to mooch off us, or to try to save money while living for free in our home.
There are several reasons they want to leave Texas. they want to be closer to family, a large family. They feel Pa will be a better enviroment for two homosexuals with adopted ethnic children. Plus they said the area in which they live in is going to hell in a basket, crime, drugs, poverty etc.
My lady is as much against this as I am. We do have 4 bedrooms, but they are small, one is converted into a walk in closet, and the other is more or less storage. We have limited closet space, and no basement. We would be really crammed in here with 7 people. We probably will let them stay real short term , maybe less than one month if it becomes necessary.
And while their lifestyle does not bother me in particular, I really do not know if I approve of it enough to have them live in my home, I cant help it, but it makes me a little uncomfortable. I do not want to have to walk on eggshells in my own house. I am about as white boy roy as they come. And, just to clarify, when I called them man hating lesbians, that was tongue in cheek. I do get along with them pretty well, I will go as far to say that I love her sister.( in a friendly sort of way you sicko's)
I am pretty sure this will not happen, there is a god!, But when my lady asked me about it the other night, I about shat myself.
Carry on.

Fred, maybe I'm missing something. In your initial post I got the impression (maybe wrongfully so) that you were looking for opinions as to whether you were right to not want them there and/or ideas on how to keep it from happening. In your most recent post you are defending the idea and state that you will proabably let them stay for a month. So what was the point of all this? Maybe I missed the question.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Whoa! I'm not sure who you are, but have you read this thread? You can't just make up stuff about this situation. Several folks here have already posted the facts completely contrary to your synopsis below. To summarize these folks:

your wife is terrible for making this decision for you, already saying yes to the deal and putting you in a bad situation. If you don't go along with this, might as well file for divorce.

The couple are scum because:
1. they are lowlife poor
2. the don't have jobs
3. they don't have a home
4. they will have to save for a home which will take 32 years
5. they are irresponsible
6. they will be sponging off of you forever
7. they are, in general, disgusting homosexual, less than human
8. just the fact that they want to impose makes them scum
9. they will never leave
10. they are terrible parents. lesbians with black kids? WTF? that's just wrong. poor lesbians with no jobs, no home and black kids? why they should just be Rick Lee'd and be done with it.
11.They just want to live off of you, scott free
12. their marriage will ruin your family

What did I leave out?


Sometimes it's like I stumble on a 1975 Ford Pinto forum.

Narrative.

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Wow, this thread has gone viral. There are a lot of variables at work here, and maybe I should have been more specific. The lesbians plan on selling their home before they move here, whether or not that happens in this economy I cannot predict. They only want to stay with us while they are looking for a home, they plan on coming here with money in the bank ready to purchase. They have been in town for the last two weeks and have been home shopping. They are not just throwing caution to the wind , packing the station wagon and leaving town, they are , and have been planning this out for some time now. They will most likely have employment before they move to the area. They are grown adults and are responsible people, I truly believe in my heart that it is not their intention to mooch off us, or to try to save money while living for free in our home.
There are several reasons they want to leave Texas. they want to be closer to family, a large family. They feel Pa will be a better enviroment for two homosexuals with adopted ethnic children. Plus they said the area in which they live in is going to hell in a basket, crime, drugs, poverty etc.
My lady is as much against this as I am. We do have 4 bedrooms, but they are small, one is converted into a walk in closet, and the other is more or less storage. We have limited closet space, and no basement. We would be really crammed in here with 7 people. We probably will let them stay real short term , maybe less than one month if it becomes necessary.
And while their lifestyle does not bother me in particular, I really do not know if I approve of it enough to have them live in my home, I cant help it, but it makes me a little uncomfortable. I do not want to have to walk on eggshells in my own house. I am about as white boy roy as they come. And, just to clarify, when I called them man hating lesbians, that was tongue in cheek. I do get along with them pretty well, I will go as far to say that I love her sister.( in a friendly sort of way you sicko's)
I am pretty sure this will not happen, there is a god!, But when my lady asked me about it the other night, I about shat myself.
Carry on.

[Shaun @ Tru6]

When talking this over, why don't you suggest that one of them, the sister, come with you to stay.

The sister stays with you, looks for a job and looks for a home.

The partner stays in TX, sells the home and takes care of the kids.

The sister gets a job and finds a home. The partner sells their home.

The rest of the family moves up to their new home.

The partner finds a job.