haters gotta hate

where in the world did haters come from.....that's random and outa context...

The ability of a woman to resume her career after a 15-20 year motherhood hiatus will depend hugely on what career we're talking about. For nursing, I guess it can be done -the "nursing shortage" helps. Many other careers - not happening. My wife was a lawyer, no-one is looking for a 50+ y/o lawyer who hasn't seen a courtroom/casebook in 15 years, her career is not completely "toast", but the odds are very, very poor. Especially in this economy.

And any woman on the IT side... If you are out 10 minutes then it has already passed you by... just saying...

SmileWavy

I don't mind absolutes in life, in fact embrace them when appropriate. I would be more than willing to share some of the views of parenting expressed in this thread if I believed them to be true. What should be abundantly clear is that there is no absolute regarding the raising of children except one: Establishing a consistent framework of love and support, caring, discipline and expectation.

My life is somewhat unusual in that my father was in the military until I was 10...deployed a lot for long periods. What some would call a void was in reality quite a gift. I still have his letters, written just for me, talking about how much I meant to him, his regrets at not being there for certain important events, thanking me for holding down the fort under difficult circumstances. So much more. We event have old reel-to-reel tapes he would make for the holidays and birthdays.

He was a great father from ten thousand miles away.

My mother volunteered quite a bit in those days, no doubt anxious about my father. I look back and admire her pluck: Many women in similar circumstance turned to other pursuits, few positive.

The other Army wives would share after school duty...while my mom not always home there was an anticipated comfort of knowing where I was going and when she would be home. It worked because it was a known routine.

When my wife and I had children we discussed the pros and cons of a working mother, at length, in detail and with our eyes open. Based on my childhood experiences, we decided that we would try and replicate what I know is true: Establishing a consistent framework of love and support, caring, discipline and expectation is key.

We gave ourselves financial and career (hers) off-ramps should we feel the need to not have my wife work.

It never happened. My children know love, know us and have become exceptional young adults.

In my humble experience, mere physical proximity to your children is not as important as their comfort in knowing both what to expect and what is expected of them. I know families that don't communicate from two feet away, much less ten thousand miles. We don't have that problem.

Being a parent is a constant OODA Loop...you guys decide and act your way, I'll go mine.

Best.

You are a wise man, Paul.

angela

Bravo Paul...SmileWavy

wtf?

Vash, you post more stupid threads then anyone else on how or how not to run your life...you love DRAMA

f u..

I will say this, though. If a woman is going to stay at home doing nothing all day, why can't she make herself useful and adjust my 911 valves?

Just trying to take the heat off vash here :-)

I'm with you Vash.

I'm with Paul, (and his wife), in that I agree that there are far more important variables than whether both parents have a career. Have you ever watched the television show, "Mad Men"? It presents an incredibly accurate picture of a certain type of nuclear family circa 1960 with traditional male/female parent roles. They are both horse schit parents. She seems like she could care less about her kids and in fact resents them and her pre-ordained role in life as a stay-at-home breeding machine and housekeeper. He is far too busy drinking and ****ing to even remember that he has kids most of the time. They get a peck on the cheek when he comes through the door and that's IT.

I was born in 1959 and I've seen more of these types of horrible traditional families than I can count. My Mom was a stay-at-home housewife when we were little but fortunately she was born to be a mom and really got into the role. Probably half of the women on earth find it a pain in the ass, from my unscientific observation. My Dad barely noticed us unless it was to administer an ass-whupping.

My sister and her husband are both MDs with busy careers and 3 kids ranging from 12-16 in age. They made a conscience decision to have kids and start a family, (as opposed to 50 years ago when if you were not married w/ children, your neighbors and colleagues looked at you like you were a freak). They are extremely involved in their kids' lives, (almost obsessed if you ask me), and are exceptional parents by any sane measure. All three are doing very well socially and academically with no serious problems, (knock on wood). They are involved in sports and their parents are at nearly every game or swim meet screaming their names. They take vacations together as a family and the parents are at home in the evening about 350 days a year. I really think that the advances in reproductive freedom and family planning have resulted in more people actually wanting their children and being better parents. You really see the opposite in uneducated people or groups where things seem a little "less planned".

If my sister had been denied her career, (medicine), she would have been one miserable, pissed-off woman for life. She is type-A beyond belief and knew what she wanted to do in the 7th grade, then focused like a laser beam on her goal. She wanted that career and to have kids and a great family and she got it.

I cannot speak for Paul, (he does a fantastic job by himself), but can say that their family is similar in many ways to my sister's. The kids are great, seem happy and well-adjusted and most importantly have not grown up in a house where the parents are hating life and transmitting that to them 24/7 through a hundred different passive-aggressive actions like I used to see all the time in the '60s. I can't count how many pill-popping, miserable and disengaged mothers I saw growing up. And this was in the good part of town.

All kids want is for their home life to be harmonious with present, kind parents and for their parents to show up for their sporting/band/whatever events. Here is a gratuitous picture from my last trip to MN. in the fall. Both my sister and her husband went straight from a long day at work to their daughter's swim meet and it was not close by. (From SW Mpls. to St. Kates in St. Paul for locals). Her brother was there as well, drove himself w/ freshly-minted DL. (16 y.o.). This where they spend their off-work hours if not at home. Their kids are also helping them decide whether to buy a vacation house in Vail or Park City right now, thanks to their awful double-career life. :cool:
http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1299090283.jpg

Geez. No kidding. Talk about catching a stray bullet. That actually pulled me out of lurkerville...if only for a moment.

Just call em as I sees em...most cant stands it.....most you drama queens I never see over on the tech side of anything...........Not such a stray bullet

W....t....f?

I agree with Paul. My father was active duty Navy until my Freshman year in college. He was deployed extensively until I was 11. Up until that point my mom was a stay at home mom, when we moved to the DC Area, and my dad was no longer at sea, she got back into the teaching field. By the time I was in High School, she was working full time.

When we had kids my wife wanted to keep working. She is in the IT Field, and we knew how difficult it would be for her to rejoin it. She works for the local school district, and is very active in the kids lives.

While I am not in the military, or deployed for long periods of time, I do travel frequently during the week, but never on the weekends. My family and I do special things that relate to my trips, and it works for us.

Like Paul said, everyone is different.

No, let's get back to drinking and bashing Vash, since that has to be what is going on with the hater.

Bill

I have more posts on the 911 tech board than you have total posts. And some of them are actually helpful. :)

The force is strong with this one

Ironic that some are defending Charlie here while other bash working parents.

I think the context lapped you...NOT the amoun t of post

Are you that big of a dick, or trying to make up for the fact that you weren't born with one? Whoops, meant to post in the 'Comeback" thread...