What do you wish you had done?

[Racerbvd]

Peter, sorry that you have to go through this, but a lot of good advise, TIME, right now, that is the best thing you can do is be there for him.. My father passed unexpectedly, but I was fortunate enough to have spent time with him a few days before. I do know how hard it is, as my friend Phil, was like a father to me, and he wanted me there every day, cancer was terminal. You can always make more money, but time can't be replaced, so I chose to spend time with my Friend & 914 Mentor.

Originally Posted by Super_Dave_D
Posts like this make me extremely jealous of guys with good relationships. We don't even speak and haven't much for the past 20+ years. Enjoy the time you have and the remember times you have had!!!

Dave, my father didn't speak to me for years, from 1/2 way through my senior year (he didn't come to my Graduation either), til I kept approaching him at his boat at the Club, close to 10 years, and any time I would try to approach him, he would tell me to get the Fuch out of there, then one day he offered me a beer. He was very hard on me growing up, and some in the family still don't understand how I could still love him. It was the best thing that I have done, when he was gone, our souls were clear.

[flatbutt]

My Dad was never much of a pal of mine but he was a good Dad. He kicked my butt plenty in an old school way. He also kept me fed , clothed and housed. I wish we had more of a friends aspect to our relationship. But he was VERY old school Italian.

[R K T]

My Dad died 11 years ago yesterday. I didn't have brothers or sisters to "help" with the before, during and after of his passing. Not sure what I would have done without my wife to get through everything!
My Dad was a quiet man and didn't talk much. I wish he had. After his passing I found out what a WWII hero he was. I inherited his locker that, I don't think had been opened since 1945. An amazing time warp. His medals, his uniform, his flight jacket and goggles.
Full and complete flight log book that shows his plane was shot down in the Pacific....not once but twice. Once he took off from a Carrier and immediately lost power going straight down with the Carrier coming at him full speed. AMAZING I'm even here!

At this point, just be there with him and for him and tell him you love him. I wish I had done that more often.

My thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

[targa911S]

My Dad was dying and I held his hand, whispered in his ear that I loved him, and that we was the best Dad a guy could ever ask for. He squeezed my hand and smiled with his eyes closed. He died an hour later. It was the last time I saw him smile. I miss him every day still.

[azasadny]

David,

I understand. I miss my grandfather every single day. He was more like a father to me than a grandfather and I was closer to him than to any of my other relatives.....He lived with us during the last days and I'm thankful we had that time together.

[Evans, Marv]

I'm with those who have expressed admiration for those who have/have had good relationships with their parents and wish they could have had that with their parents. My father died in '91, and my mother passed last September. I loved them only for being the parents who brought me into this world. They were selfish, self-centered, distant, prejudiced, uneducated, jealous of those who had more, and devalued their kids (a term expressed by my sister one time when I was trying to find an expression for it) up to the end. I was filled with anxiety and rage at them for years, because of the way they were, though they did set an example of what I didn't want to be like. In my late thirties, I finally let it go by truly realizing they were only people, as all people, who had their strong points and weak points. I realized I couldn't expect them to be more than they were or become what I wanted them to be, and I had to accept them as the people they were. After realizing that, I was able to let go of much of the disappointment and anxiety. You who have loving, interactive, and enjoyable relationships with your parents, enjoy it to the fullest.

[scottmandue]

Peter,

My aunt suffered a stroke and still mentally aware but can't communicate very well or move about freely anymore... very frustrating for her because she was always very active and articulate (she is my favorite relative). She has expressed that she has lived a full life and is "ready to go" and not sure why she is still here.

All that aside we find she enjoys looking at pictures of the family from the past and present... you might look into that.

My prayers are with you and your family.

[rusnak]

Marv, it's not like it's all roses and unicorns.

I'm like Luke Skywalker - I sense the good in my father, and I'm trying to save him from the evil dark side.

[artplumber]

There were many times I wanted to do my Dad harm as a teenager. But then you get older and wiser, and learn to see the other side. Most parents repeat what they know, and he didn't even have his own dad after 7yrs old. I'm lucky to have had my Dad for so long.

[strupgolf]

I dont really know what it's like to say goodby to a dad. My dad killed himself when I was 26. I moved away at 19 and did'nt see him but a few times in those years. I got the chance to have a beer with him in 1974 for one afternoon. Oh well, life is short, enjoy all you have, make ammends, say you love them, hug your kids, your wife and all those you love. Laugh a lot too, it helps.

[KarlCarrera]

Make the time to be with him. Lots of time to be alone and think later.

Very sorry for what your going through, Only you know what you need to do.

Prayers sent

Karl
88 Targa