The End is near! May 21...

[wcc]

LOL!

Unleashed: Who will care for pets left behind after Judgment Day? Atheists | MLive.com

Unleashed: Who will care for pets left behind after Judgment Day? Atheists
Published: Tuesday, May 10, 2011, 2:00 PM Updated: Tuesday, May 10, 2011, 6:54 PM
Troy Reimink | The Grand Rapids Press By Troy Reimink | The Grand Rapids Press
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blacklab.JPGFile photoLeft behind? A company offers to care for pets whose owners are Raptured to heaven.

In case you'd forgotten, the Rapture is coming in 11 Days.

Last month, Grand Rapids got a visit from Family Radio Worldwide, a Christian group that has been traveling the country spreading an obscure interpretation of scripture that pinpoints May 21st as Judgment Day.

Say you fall for believe this and are arranging your earthly affairs in preparation for being Raptured. What happens to your pets? You can't take your dog or cat with you, but you want to make sure they're cared for in your absence, right? What's a believer to do?

Simple. Call an atheist.

No joke -- there's a company called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets USA that, for a modest fee, will care for your pet in the event of your being Raptured to heaven. Formed in 2009 by a man named Bart Centre, the organization operates in 26 states, including Michigan.

According to its website, for $135, the company will guarantee that one pet per household will be cared for if the Rapture occurs within 10 years of payment, with an additional charge of $20 per pet if more than one requires saving (their word).

Centre says he takes the work seriously enough that he's careful to only recruit atheists as pet rescuers. A story in the Sydney Morning Herald explains the company's hiring process:

After a background check, each rescuer must satisfy Centre by blaspheming in accordance with Mark 3:29, the part of the New Testament that reads: ''But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.''

Are people's beliefs being exploited here? Sure, but whose? Here's how Centre rationalizes it: "I do not promote the Rapture. If I were promoting it, then soliciting people to take my services, I could see that being a scam. Who knows whether I'm taking advantage of them, or they're taking advantage of me?"

[Aurel]

This is a genious way to make money, the guy know he will never have to deliver, because:

a. Rapture will not happen
b. In the event it would happen, his customers will not be here anymore.

Way to go, entrepreneur!

[scoe911]

The end?...for some it's a foregone conclusion...but for all?... doubtful.

[wcc]

Originally Posted by Aurel

This is a genious way to make money, the guy know he will never have to deliver, because:

a. Rapture will not happen
b. In the event it would happen, his customers will not be here anymore.

Way to go, entrepreneur!

+1 People will buy into it and that's what's got me laughing so hard!

[jyl]

I know that I am not going to fly on May 21, for fear that the pilots might be good Christians.

[speedracing944]

Anybody want to go looting on May 21st?

Speedy

[Danny_Ocean]

The Rapture

Wednesday, 27 March 2002 08:45

A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.

Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.

"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.

"This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," said Paul Madison, first officer on the scene.

Madison questioned the man who looked like Jesus and discovered that he was dressed up as Jesus and was on his way to a toga costume party when the tarp covering the bed of his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow up sex dolls filled with helium which floated up into the air.

Ernie Jenkins, 32, of Fort Smith, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration, and said "Come back here," just as the Williams' car passed him, and Mrs. Williams was sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into the sky as they passed by him, according to her husband, who says his wife loved Jesus more than anything else.

When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen".

[techweenie]

Try this little test: visit your neighbors, asking them to sign quit-claim deeds on their property effective 5/22/11.

[Hawktel]

Someone ran some numbers and pinpointed 3% of the population would go on in the rapture.

I hope it happens. Mostly to see the crushing disappointed on some that thought they would go, and second to see the crazy stuff that happens to us that are left.

Going to bet that not many people on this forum going missing.

[dentist90]

I wonder how much eternal "dog-sitting" money this company has raised so far?

My cat just jumped up on the bed and looked at me. I assured her it is fairly certain that she will not have to get used to someone new on the 22nd.

[LUFTMAN]

all computers were suppose to crash in 2000 too

[Z-man]

Matthew 24:42, NIV
Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.

As a Christian, I am constantly surprised by other Christians who do not understand the above quote, as well as many other quotes in the Bible which indicate that the end of the world is something that is hidden from all of mankind. It could not be any clearer.

Gonna be an interesting Sunday service on May 22nd for all of those preachers and followers who believed May 21st was the end: some folks are gonna have some 'splainin' to do...

-Z-man.

[slodave]

I'm not done with my guitar project yet. No way the world can end yet!

[Schumi]

Originally Posted by LUFTMAN

all computers were suppose to crash in 2000 too

Actually, that happened, and because of it, 90% of people are fake...

YouTube - this is how we trip

Sorry, reminded me of this..

[targa911S]

Damn and I have a gig that night.

[azasadny]

The world can't end until I get my pistol restored!

[gorthar]

Guess I'll have to try to stay sober that day...

[targa911S]

I hope the financing on my Enzo goes through by Friday morning.

[juanbenae]

my dog is predicting an earthquake this week by his behavior. he has hit the last two dead on over the last year or so within a week. the most recent, a couple months ago i announced on FB and when it actually happened people were blown away... he is acting that way again, does not want to be in house, wants out all the time, and is very sheepish. this is a lab that is never like that and is trying to get in the house at all costs.. hold on

[vash]

Originally Posted by car 311

my dog is predicting an earthquake this week by his behavior. he has hit the last two dead on over the last year or so within a week. the most recent, a couple months ago i announced on FB and when it actually happened people were blown away... he is acting that way again, does not want to be in house, wants out all the time, and is very sheepish. this is a lab that is never like that and is trying to get in the house at all costs.. hold on

got my hardhat on!!

as for all the Christian dogs..i will go out on a limb and assume all hell will bust loose if all the nice people, hypocrits, and choir members disappear. it will be huge. equal in disaster points as a meteor strike that blows up a dust cloud that blocks out the sun..epic.

i assume all the christian dogs and cats will be food for the rest of the unchosen. the cost of fuel will really get up near $5 per gallon..for sure.