buddy calls me, he asks, "why do strippers have to wear glitter?"

vash · vash's Garage

hahah..he just called. he is in the doghouse bigtime. boy's night out ended funny.

he came home late. drunk, perfumed, and covered in glitter. i know his wife, and she is adorable and smart. he said glitter was everywhere..in bed, in his clothing..hahaha. apparently he hung out with some "talent" wearing some glittered lotion.

busted. he did a father's day hall-pass thing to play poker with the guys. i never asked if he actually played cards.

even coming home, and taking a shower is a tip off to a smart wife.
\
any great stories?

URY914 · URY914's Garage

I had to stop and get gas on the way home and made sure I got gas on my hand to kill the perfume smell.

masraum · 06-20-2011, 11:33 AM

The smart one's don't.

widgeon13 · 06-20-2011, 11:37 AM

I had a buddy who found a nice single earring in a parking lot while he was traveling and put it in his jacket pocket. Wife found it when he got home and the jacket was going to the cleaners, damn near cost him his marriage, she was really pissed and wouldn't believe his story.

I don't think she believes him to this day.

AFC-911 · 06-20-2011, 11:37 AM

Do they still wear glitter? I thought this was an outdated notion. (I've personally never been, but I've heard first hand accounts from strippers themselves)

widgeon13 · 06-20-2011, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AFC-911

Do they still wear glitter? I thought this was an outdated notion. (I've personally never been, but I've heard first hand accounts from strippers themselves)

You've never been to a titty bar??? That's what you tell your wife, come on, you can be honest with us boys!

scottmandue · 06-20-2011, 11:44 AM

Lotion? I thought they got the glitter on themselves from ridding the unicorns?

tabs · 06-20-2011, 11:46 AM

To make the fools think that they are getting Gold...

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

I honestly don't get the attraction to strip clubs. I played some gigs at a place in San Diego back in the day that was strip club by day and had rock acts at night. Also went to one for a buddy's bachelor party (as the designated driver I got strapped in the chair for some "special attention"). I find them depressing...

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

Strip Clubs: all dressed up with no place to go
Hookers: why mess with green bologna when I have Filet Mignon at home?

Brando · Brando's Garage

Without the glitter, they are only covered in shame.

island911 · 06-20-2011, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nostatic

I honestly don't get the attraction to strip clubs.....I find them depressing...

What, you don't like the idea of paying to be teased by pathetic 'actresses' while being surrounded by pathetic dudes lined up for a glitter getaway? --I'm shocked.

vash · vash's Garage

i love a great strip joint. but i dont go. havent been for 15 years..

waste of wood in my opinion. but that damn fantasy when you step thru the door is fantastic. my buddy, i cant even tell him when i come to town anymore. he loves using me as an excuse to get away from his wife for some stripper. in my home town, the places are extra seedy. crazy! the women are stunning, but i dont go anymore.. i guess i dont like them, but i see the attraction.

it must be a billion dollar industry..they are everywhere.

willtel · 06-20-2011, 12:15 PM

Hanging out at a strip club is like cooking a steak you can't eat.

Geronimo '74 · 06-20-2011, 12:17 PM

I had some great times in a stripclub already, bachelor parties mostly. Fun, booze, friends and hot chicks, what's not to like?

fastfredracing · 06-20-2011, 12:18 PM

I,m with you Nostatic. I always felt like a desperate looser when in a strip bar, I had much more fun going after the real thing.
My buddy used to always say that he had a bad case of McDonald's dick. After hearing this several times, and regretfully asking him what it was about, he said that he would stop at the local McDonald's , and wash his junk in the sink after a tryst with another woman, so that his lady would not smell it on him when he got home. Nasty

cantdrv55 · 06-20-2011, 12:20 PM

Many many years ago, I hired a stripper to do a house call to my house. I was giving a buddy a going away party to the Navy. The party was wild, the stripper was nasty and my buddy was ready for anything. The stripper sits him down on a dining room chair, backs up, takes off her clothes and does a running start to jump on him. Nasty girl didn't even try to make a soft landing on his jock and with their weight, breaks the chair. Man, I was in the doghouse for days.

URY914 · URY914's Garage

It's been over 20 years since I've been to one.

asphaltgambler · 06-20-2011, 12:41 PM

2 things I can say about this............................................

1) Nothing like paying TOP dollar for sexual frustration

2) Only difference between a stripper and pirate is the eye-patch and boat, both will steal from you

scottmandue · 06-20-2011, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

My buddy used to always say that he had a bad case of McDonald's dick. After hearing this several times, and regretfully asking him what it was about, he said that he would stop at the local McDonald's , and wash his junk in the sink after a tryst with another woman, so that his lady would not smell it on him when he got home. Nasty

Aw man... all these years I have been hitting the DIY powerwash on my way home... think of the money I could have saved!