I am confused...you had a multi page post recently with the same questions and you received the same advice from Pelican members. I for one gave you great advise on this last post as I went through the exact situation.
To sum it up "Rent it"

It is more complicated than that...my wife wants to sell and buy another nice house even more than I do. And she hasn't accepted the idea of "renting or home to strangers" yet...

SmileWavy

It seems like you are fixating on the few thousand dollar incentive your company is offering you to cover fees. You really need to let that go. Rent the house in NJ. Rent in Albuquerque. Now is not the time to buy in ABQ. Believe me, I know. We are still a ways from the bottom. Its a renters market in ABQ and you should be able to find a very nice home for $1100 a month or so. You really need to listen to the advice from the board here and separate yourself from your emotions :)

I rent my 3/2 homes on the west side for $850 a month! They are much nicer than apartments!

Schools are bad on the west side. That is why rents and houses are cheap. You have anything in the north east?

I don't, but my sister lives off of Eubank. I know real estate is more expensive there, but every house I see there has bars on the windows. I don't see that at all in the NW corner. You're sure its better over there?

Oh, you mean the house she and your daughter will live in when you divorce.

Welcome to the fallout of the housing bust. Another thing for you to worry about?
Be cautious about who you rent to...tonight's news report was about growers targeting houses with out of state landlords for grow operations...

Be careful out there...

Police raid home, seize large pot grow operation | Crime | Vancouver News

No worries there, we a have a very good marriage and we will make it through. Thanks for being a dikc anyways. There always has to be one.

Hey everybody is healthy, put this in perspective. Keep the family together, believe me, things could be much much worse.

I was in a similar spot in the mid 90"s the stress was largely self imposed.

There are many R/E Sellers that are having a hard time warming up to the prospects of loss. Don't let it affect the family, better to roll out than to push a bad market.

If you are upside down, rent the NJ house this will stabilize in time.

I would rent even if you had the cash to buy In NM.

The R/E Radar scope is still painting some ugly ahead.

The nice areas (good schools, no bars at windows) are north of Paseo del Norte.

Not to be a jerk but why on earth did you ASS-ume that you could sell a house in this market which is already saturated with millions of REOs for precious few buyers?

This is a ROTTEN time to be selling and I don't want to lecture, but it sounds like you made a hell of an assumption (or got suckered in by a RE agent's "sure, I can sell anything" BS pitch, or a little of both) and are now stuck.

Don't let a stupid pile of sticks destroy your marriage if you value it. Rent it or walk away and take the hit... It's probably cheaper than a divorce anyway.

Sorry to hear and best of luck.

Can you commute, perhaps live in a smaller, outlying area?

this is what I am thinking about

Big A, I rented the place I got married in, maybe if you approach it as being able to keep your home...you really do not want to delay

:(

Come on man.....

Your situation is inconvenient and expensive. THIS is a hellish nightmare: http://forums.pelicanparts.com/off-topic-discussions/420757-my-4-yr-old-has-cancer.html
Sometimes when I THINK I'm having a bad day I pull up that thread and read it through. Suddenly life doesn't seem so bad.

I totally agree with you, and certainly the thread title was poorly chosen, simply reflecting my state of mind at a given moment. We can always find better or worse situations than ours, and what really matters is not the situation itself but how we deal with it, the journey it takes us through.

Interestingly though, I have noticed that we usually receive challenges that push our limits just enough that we can go through them, as if there was a predetermined set of challenges required for our growth.

I have also noticed that happiness as little to do with those circumstances, and that is probably the part that is most difficult to grasp. For instance, a study on suicide revealed some tribes in Africa have 75% rate of infant mortality and 0% rate of suicide, while the rate of suicide is much higher in developed countries, and seems to increase with wealth.

Thanks again for all the advice and opinions.

Aurel,

Tough choices to make...
Its great that you have the choices to make and are keen to find out what others think.

Might I suggest a different approach...
You have mentally and emotionally made the leap to a new life in ABQ....perhaps your wife has not and she is mourning the loss of her life in NJ, the home there and this anxiety is a normal state to be in, sad at what she has to leave behind, apprehensive about the future.. all of which is easily blamed on the money side of it.

Assuming that is the case (if I'm wrong then sorry)...perhaps you can help in a different manner, one that you know would suit that part of her emotions more effectively than the 'money' side.

It's a challenge for certain and one approach is to welcome it for the potential it brings..and acknowledge the cost to us and others.

From your asking price I assume you can sell it for well over $310K so you're way better off than much of America. Either take your lumps now and walk away with less than you put down (but still a good chunk of money) or rent it and deal with that.

There is no shame in renting, and you got unlucky with your timing on buying. Thankfully when I got bought out of the house I spent the money on my track car and rented an apartment instead of sinking that money into a house. So in retrospect, my "irresponsible" behavior saved me money. When it came time to move I gave my 30 days notice and then moved.

If your work situation is in flux, and especially given this market, I wouldn't be buying anything, but ymmv.

Sorry, I honestly didn't intend to be a dikc.

I just don't understand why you would continue trying to sell your home for a six-figure loss, because of some perceived four-or-five figure gain from your current employer.

Rent your home at break-even, and rent an enormous apartment or a nice house in ABQ, and eat breakfast and dinner with your wonderful family while you consider all the options together.

Aurelien: I can see why this appears to be a nightmare - can completely understand.

As a family man the only advice, and I mean it in the strongest of terms, keep your family together, regardless of the other "costs"!!!!!