man, damn near got bit just now

[ODDJOB UNO]

just came back across the yard from where i park my quad. been jerking with the battery 1/2 the day now. had a wonderful day spending money like a drunken sailor at cabelas. visions of TROUTS jumping into my truck.


when i 1st approached quad i notice a right rear tire going low. figured WTF lets fire it and take over to garage. click click click. walk back get keys to shop go thru battery charger drill. while looking for snakes(its a really learned response emblazoned on yer brain living here), i noticed a cottontail wabbit jump out from behind some drywall, and concrete bags i have stored there for the next stoopid project i have. at that moment, i figured if the bunny was there it will be safe. well the afternoon moves on and i go out w/the volt/ohm meter. click click click bzzzzzzz. WTF??

so i crank the damn charger on 10amps and walk away.


come back just now, sun is down, look all around(remember learned response) quad area and drywall. climb on quad and SOB! theres a gawd damn diamondback about 2.5 feet from ME to my right! about flipped and POO'D myself ! jump off quad, run around corner while getting a last glimpse of his location speed heading etc. and grab me the MUTHA OF ALL FIBERGLASS 6ft HANDLED HOES and whack that mutha feekers head off!


im still coming down from this one. of course i had my osha approved flip flops on and just some shorts cuz its hot and humid as hell here, to make this a real big deal.


just the other day i found a rock squirrel had burrowed a hole under the building. when i see that (learned response) i automatically think SNAKE! so being the tree hugging kind of guy i am, i promptly flooded the crap out of that hole with my MUTHA OF ALL FIBERGLASS 6FT HOES in hand waiting on either a snake or a rock squirrel to exit post haste. neither did after about 15 minutes so i shoved rocks and dirt into hole. this hole is no more than 8 feet from where i found rattler just now.


never heard him, and only saw an outline(learned response) of a vague stick like thang.


man i am telling ya those damn things are no different than bears and freeking sharks, for getting the hair up on yer neck and going into "us or them combat wombat" mode.


thats number #5 this year so far for me.


and yes i have STRATEGICALLY PLACED HOES AND SHOVELS ACROSS MY 1.5 acres of HELL just for this exact reason.


me and indiana jones are like amigos when it comes to these pricks.

[rouxroux]

Stay safe, fear the snakey!!! Good jumpin'!!!

(I wonder how many caught the "combat wombat" reference? Great ol bike)!

[mossguy]

I wasn't aware of diamondbacks in Tibet!

[ODDJOB UNO]

there were a hell of alot of hodakas here when i was a kid. they now have a cult following and are rather spendy and difficult to restore due to no parts avail.


my friend scott oconnor(judge sandra oconnor's kid) had a hodaka combat wombat growing up.

[ODDJOB UNO]

Originally Posted by mossguy

I wasn't aware of diamondbacks in Tibet!

some days its TIBET...............but most days during the summer when its real damn hot and humid............its HELL!


and trust me as the sun comes up in the east everyday. there are snakes in HELL!

because i live in HELL and cant wait to get the HELL outta here and be on vacation somewhere anywhere its cool out.


cool to me is ANYTHING UNDER 100 degrees F!

[mossguy]

Come visit us in the Great Pacific Northwest! (79 degrees as we speak).

[ODDJOB UNO]

Originally Posted by mossguy

come visit us in the great pacific northwest! (79 degrees as we speak).

you suck! Lol!

[RWebb]

what if you teach the snakes how to "plank"?

[cstreit]

Makes me feel good about living in the Midwest where the cold kills ***** like that.

[LJ851]

Originally Posted by RWebb

what if you teach the snakes how to "plank"?

From what he described i think he just did.

[ODDJOB UNO]

due to my superhuman strength and action figure qualities, and the fact that the only way ya get anything done here in the summers is before the damn sun comes up, i get up at 330-4am every morning. make my coffee, drag my dead azz outside and survey my lil 1.5 of hell.

people are habitual in their actions and so are most kritters. when i walk outside, i almost always carry a flashlight this time of year. since last night the sun had just gone down, and there was still ambient light, and i had done a looky see behind the drywall and concrete bags for snakes and the fact the bunny wabbit came out of there, i was complacent. WRONG! snakes always seek cover of some kind. rarely are they in the middle of an area with no cover unless transiting. 99.9% of the time they follow wall lines, structure foundations, driveways. they usually will have cover, due to owls and hawks.........and me.

so just now the 1st thing i grabbed was my dive light(mucho bright lumens), and surveyed last nights "radar screen of red/magenta" wind/rain damage. all my trees survived, and i didnt see any trailers blown over, nor any shingles laying around. so far so good until the sun comes up.


anyway snakes aint stoooo-pid. when its damn hot and dry out(its a dry heat), they gesplitten until nightfall. when we enter the monsoon stage of the summer roughly july 4th thru august or so, and the daytime temps drop somewhat and the humidity soars, they come out during day/night to feed.

like i mentioned before here. rats/meez=holes=snakes. its a cyclic kind of thang. now since i have a wash(warsh-arroyo) running east to west, this is the lil bastids autobahn onto my property. i cannot by law block the opening thru my block wall in any way shape or form. yeah yeah place a screen. right and when we have an ass whupper of a storm(last night was 1" per hour downpour), the damn hole in the wall backs up with debris and the next thing i know i have lake powell backed up behind my wall and my wall comes crashing down. and i have seen this here numerous times. so i would in theory have to use stainless steel mesh(same on 911 front oil cooler) to stop them from entering. aint gonna work ever. so theres no real way of blocking them from entering property.


its amazing how fast yer mind starts thinking of solutions when confronted by death. looking back my mind ran from snake shot, to shovel, to hoe, to pellet rifle pistol, in about .000000010 of a second, and where each was located in relation to me.


the key to these if ya find them and you are with someone, have that person stay there and be the "spotter". while you go get implement of dee-struction. we dont like them and they dont like us. 99.9% of the time they will ge-splitten for safety. and thats a huge problem when you get back with implement of dee-struction and they are GONE! i gurrantee you aint gonna sleep until that bastid is DEAD!

[fred cook]

A wise friend once told me.........

"If you see a snake, don't move an inch..............move many, many feet!

[LeeH]

I've had people tell me there's a rattlesnake ahead when I'm hiking on South Mountain, but never seen one. That makes me a little uneasy. We've had garter snakes, rat snakes, a Sonoran night snake (found inside a friend's house), but so far, no rattlers.

[pwd72s]

This guy would love some rattlesnake skins...

Give him enough of 'em, he might build a case for you. But then, you'd have to buy a good cue. One thing leads to another...

OnQcases.com - cue case - custom cue case - pool cue case - custom leather cue case

[Joeaksa]

Its been a rough year for snakes. Lots more than normal out there and almost everyone I know who has been out in the boonies has seen at least one.

[flatbutt]

OJU, why would you waste a perfectly good Ho on a snake? There are other uses for them ya know.

[T77911S]

the dog is now on her 4th bite from copper heads, twice in one week. when she tangles with a cotton mouth it will be her last one.

[Jagshund]

One of the gods hates you. You must have been looking at porn all morning and had the bite coming.

[KarlCarrera]

OJU, you have to be under contract for your writing skills, another post another great chuckle. :>)

Remember, cast iron skillet, 6" pieces, butter, garlic and cover for the first few minutes. Let cook for another 5 to brown and serve with your favorite sauce.

Let someone else tan the hide for you....

Bury the head

Thanks, chuckles are fun tonight
Karl
88 Targa

[Tobra]

Why didn't you just out with your John Roscoe and give it lead poisoning?

My wife got bit by a copperhead one time, mucho bad juju, three weeks of IV antibiotics, took her years to get to where she did not limp.

Venomous snakes can put a serious hurtin' on you.