Need advice. Good friends are splitting up...

[944Larry]

Happened to close friends. Wife and I tried to be supportive of both. Didn't work. No longer friends with either.

[Baz]

My friend's wife just told him about a month ago, after 17 years of marriage with a 7 year old daughter still at home, she now wants a divorce because while attending AA meetings she developed a relationship with another female and realized she is a lesbo.

Another buddy of mine found out his wife was embezzling money from their household account and sending it to her mother. She was also having an affair with some guy. They divorced about 3 years ago.

Another buddy of mine moved a girl he met from Iowa in with him and she doesn't do anything except mooch off him and invite her out of town family members to stay and makes my friend take them all out on his boat while they're in town. They aren't even sleeping together I understand - I think because she snores so badly! I don't want to know the details but this is what he tells me plus I see it happening too.

I don't know the details in your friend's situation but would like to know to add to my knowledge base of why couples split up, if you don't mind.

As far as advice.....I agree to play the "bartender role" - be there for them and just listen. Good luck!

[craigster59]

I think a lot of good advice has already been given. On that note, I always loved this song, amazing group of musicians brought together, and always felt it explained the awkwardness of these situations...

[red-beard]

I do not agree that "no one is to blame". Some one is. I've been through this myself and you try not to take sides. But usually it is obvious what the problem is, and usually easier from the outside than inside.

One of our friends just had his midlife crisis. He came back from his third tour, and was a bit distant. 3-4 months later he sold the Honda Element and bought a ricer type sports car. He told his wife he was leaving and moved into an apartment. His facebook stuff mostly showed his going out to the bars afterwards.

I'm pretty sure he had an affair in Iraq. He appearently stopped communicating with the wife in the last few months. When he came back, his pretty much moved into a different bedroom, etc.

They divorced last summer and he is pretty angry about it, since he is on the losing end of child support, etc. And now he is dating one of his forrmer students. He is about 39 and this girl is 22.

Mid...life...crisis

And the 4-5 year old is pretty confused. Sad really. In the process, he also alienated his entire family.

[Evans, Marv]

When an old friend and his wife of 25+ years were parting ways, I asked his oldest son how he was handling it. He said, "I'm just trying to be a friend to both of them." I thought it was a pretty mature attitude coming from a 17 year old and good advice.

[Oracle]

I'm going thru that..

It's hard as hell but I think my kids are Ok, what I have seen is that if I'm Ok they're Ok if I'm down they feel it...
Nothing you can say will make things better, just listen to them and let them you you're still there for them when needed.

[woodman]

Hey Joe, Got something similar but closer to home cookin, sucks all around. Give me a ring sometime to commiserate.

[KaptKaos]

Will do Stevo. Manana ok?

[woodman]

anytime ese...