Nine words women use

stomachmonkey · 10-10-2011, 10:13 AM

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they think they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes.. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) Whatever : Is a woman's way of saying...Go to Hell

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has asked a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

Turbo_pro · 10-10-2011, 10:22 AM

"Give me, Buy me, Take me, I want" and my favorite "NOW".

BE911SC · 10-10-2011, 10:25 AM

Nine words women use?

ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!

GH85Carrera · GH85Carrera's Garage

Even worse is when she quits talking to you at all. You have no idea what you did, but it was something bad.

Por_sha911 · Por_sha911's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by GH85Carrera

Even worse is when she quits talking to you at all. You have no idea what you did, but it was something bad.

When you ask about it you get #3

M.D. Holloway · 10-10-2011, 10:52 AM

Fantastic!

the only thing I could add is the statement

Can You Believe That!?!": (used in relationship to a description of a friend or family member or co-worker that has done something she feels is the worst thing on Earth) regardless of how you feel that statement must be met with a surprised look and an "Unbelievable!" from you and don't ever minimize her excitement or discredit her amazement.

foxpaws · foxpaws's Garage

Nine things that men say.

Fine: Depends heavily on the context. A ‘fine’ after asking, say, “How was work?”, means “It was f***ed, I’m not interested in talking about it”. Fine at the end of an argument, however, has the same connotations as when a woman would use it, but it is USUALLY SHOUTED LIKE THIS because men have trouble using an inside voice when they're angry.

Five minutes: What is he doing? Videogames? Five minutes is about half an hour then, or until he finds the ever elusive ‘next save point’. Getting ready for sex? Five minutes is two minutes. Preparing to leave? Five minutes means five minutes, and if you’re not in the car in exactly five minutes you will find yourself under a veritable barrage of honking until you rectify the fact.

Nothing: Is largely a synonym for ‘fine’, though more resolute. A ‘fine’ can be challenged, a ‘nothing’ is completely off limits, and rather than signaling that an argument is forth coming, it should tell any man-savvy woman that whatever is wrong is not up for discussion with her, her mother, or anyone she is related to. Full stop. Period.

Go ahead: “I’m not interested in arguing with you anymore, do whatever the hell you want. See if I care!” Often accompanied by a #1.

Loud sigh: Sometimes with a curse, like ‘J***s Ch***t’ or ‘F**king hell’, this is a sign of frustration, and means, basically, “I so don’t understand the issue here, what is she still pissed about? My conclusive rebuttals weren’t enough for her?”

That’s okay: This is a sign of disappointment. If a dude tells you ‘that’s okay’ after you’ve just admitted something, it means his respect for you has taken a free fall and he’s not sure what to say that won’t insult you, despite his current feelings.

Thanks: This depends largely on the context and intonation. Like eels and shotguns, ‘thanks’ is a slippery beast and by no means can be explained in one dot point.

Whatever: “I’m over it. I’m not interested in arguing. I still think I’m right, but you know what? You don’t, and I’m beyond caring. F**k you.” That’s what ‘whatever’ means.

Don’t worry about it, I got it: This isn’t often used by men, but when uttered it holds the same connotations as “Stop asking if I need help, I am a MAN, I am more than capable of handling this **** myself”. Women often challenge this, which can result in a #4 #5 combo, or, worse, a #1 followed up by an #8

NutmegCarrera · NutmegCarrera's Garage

I can think of one word that most (women) WON'T use.
If they do - they're really pissed.

Hint: Starts with "C".

Red88Carrera · 10-11-2011, 06:15 PM

Has anyone else found that as you get older, there are fewer things that tend to give you grief, but the wife tends to look for ways to over-analyze everything. This usually leads to her outward display of negativity, which leads to my grief.

stomachmonkey · 10-11-2011, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxpaws

Nine things that men say.

Fine: Depends heavily on the context. A ‘fine’ after asking, say, “How was work?”, means “It was f***ed, I’m not interested in talking about it”. Fine at the end of an argument, however, has the same connotations as when a woman would use it, but it is USUALLY SHOUTED LIKE THIS because men have trouble using an inside voice when they're angry.

Five minutes: What is he doing? Videogames? Five minutes is about half an hour then, or until he finds the ever elusive ‘next save point’. Getting ready for sex? Five minutes is two minutes. Preparing to leave? Five minutes means five minutes, and if you’re not in the car in exactly five minutes you will find yourself under a veritable barrage of honking until you rectify the fact.

Nothing: Is largely a synonym for ‘fine’, though more resolute. A ‘fine’ can be challenged, a ‘nothing’ is completely off limits, and rather than signaling that an argument is forth coming, it should tell any man-savvy woman that whatever is wrong is not up for discussion with her, her mother, or anyone she is related to. Full stop. Period.

Go ahead: “I’m not interested in arguing with you anymore, do whatever the hell you want. See if I care!” Often accompanied by a #1.

Loud sigh: Sometimes with a curse, like ‘J***s Ch***t’ or ‘F**king hell’, this is a sign of frustration, and means, basically, “I so don’t understand the issue here, what is she still pissed about? My conclusive rebuttals weren’t enough for her?”

That’s okay: This is a sign of disappointment. If a dude tells you ‘that’s okay’ after you’ve just admitted something, it means his respect for you has taken a free fall and he’s not sure what to say that won’t insult you, despite his current feelings.

Thanks: This depends largely on the context and intonation. Like eels and shotguns, ‘thanks’ is a slippery beast and by no means can be explained in one dot point.

Whatever: “I’m over it. I’m not interested in arguing. I still think I’m right, but you know what? You don’t, and I’m beyond caring. F**k you.” That’s what ‘whatever’ means.

Don’t worry about it, I got it: This isn’t often used by men, but when uttered it holds the same connotations as “Stop asking if I need help, I am a MAN, I am more than capable of handling this **** myself”. Women often challenge this, which can result in a #4 #5 combo, or, worse, a #1 followed up by an #8

My wife sent me that list because it fits her to a T and she knows it and she knows I know how she works.

One of the reasons I can count on one finger the number of fights we've had in 20 years together.

Porsche-O-Phile · Porsche-O-Phile's Garage

"It's not you, it's me". Means, "it's you".

Rick V · 10-12-2011, 02:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NutmegCarrera

I can think of one word that most (women) WON'T use.
If they do - they're really pissed.

Hint: Starts with "C".

That words used by a man towards a woman stands for Can't Understand Normal Thinking

widgeon13 · 10-12-2011, 03:50 AM

10) Headache

MarkRobinson · 10-12-2011, 04:43 AM

11) Thingy (replaces any noun or pronoun whenever the woman's attention isn't 100% focused)

Jeff964 · 10-12-2011, 05:27 AM

"You're right, I'm wrong" means, "You're wrong".

Mo_Gearhead · 10-12-2011, 07:07 AM

Yes
Right
There
Don’t
Stop
Oh
My
GOD
AGGGGHHHHH!

* Your personal experiences may be slightly varied.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Last night my wife came home from the store with some pastry shells. I asked her why she bought them but no strawberries or whipped cream. She said, "Because it was on sale."

Two weeks ago she got an HP tablet in the mail. I asked why she bought that, since she doesn't read books, doesn't travel for work and has a nice laptop I gave her for her b-day last year, which she uses for everything. She said, "Because this item is hot. Everyone wants one."

We're going to be poor.

stomachmonkey · 10-12-2011, 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rick Lee

Last night my wife came home from the store with some pastry shells. I asked her why she bought them but no strawberries or whipped cream. She said, "Because it was on sale."

Two weeks ago she got an HP tablet in the mail. I asked why she bought that, since she doesn't read books, doesn't travel for work and has a nice laptop I gave her for her b-day last year, which she uses for everything. She said, "Because this item is hot. Everyone wants one."

We're going to be poor.

LOL,

Mine is so cheap she squeaks. Will absolutely never, ever pay retail for anything but is a sucker for a deal.

I come home one day and she is showing me this awesome jacket she just got.

"Uhm, looks expensive"

It was, but it was on sale and I had all these coupons/discounts so I got it for 20% of tag price.

"Nice, good deal"

Yeah it was such a good deal I bought 5 of them, one in every color.

Rick Lee · Rick Lee's Garage

Oh, my wife will never ever pay retail for anything and we almost only go out to eat when we have coupons or Groupons. But buying stuff you have absolutely no use for, just because you got a deal on it, is another fast track to the poor house.

dennis in se pa · dennis in se pa's Garage

Women need to be trained. If you find they are not trainable - move on. It's your life to live, not theirs. If you let them ,or anyone else make your decisions for you, you deserve the life you end up with.