Frustrated..

[Mericet]

I am applying for a scholarship and need to write paragraph saying why I am qualified and why I should be selected for it. I can certainly list some qualities but have difficulty with the second part. I am sure I have a very good possibility of winning this and it is a fairly substantial amount so not applying is not an option. I know I should view this as a "marketing" exercise for myself but I feel it is just "bragging" about myself.

[thingmon]

Sounds like you're going into it with the right attitude but the basis of a scholarship is competition. This requires a certain amount of self promotion.

Focus on your attributes and contributions you've made to teams that were applicable to the scholarship's goals and that show general aptitude. Show enthusiasm.

Once you've made a pass read it and ask yourself if you would hire you. Input from a few trusted allies who are willing to provide constructive criticism can be helpful too.

Best of luck.

[Por_sha911]

The donor of the scholarship wants to know that they are improving the "class average" of their alumni. They want to know that you are a person they can be proud to show off: "so-and-so is one of us...". Grad schools look for a well rounded person who has sports and civic involvement, charity work, etc. Show them what you've done in the past and what you plan to do in the future.

[azasadny]

Try this:

This is an essay written by Hugh Gallagher when applying to New York University. He graduated from NYU in May 1994. In 1995, this essay was reprinted in The Guardian.


Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realised, that have helped to define you as a person?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello...I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang-gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire, I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail...Last summer I toured New Jersey with a travelling centrifugal force demonstration...My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But I have not yet gone to college.

[Mericet]

Thank you for the input everyone! I guess I knew all the reasons for me having to write the piece but needed a little more inspiration! I really enjoyed the piece you posted Art. It is not really my style to write something like that but I did get some ideas from it.

BTW, the scholarship donor is the local Friends of the NRA.

[Mericet]

I thought I should share the paragraph I wrote and submitted with the application. I handed it in today so now I am hoping for the best. I am almost 100% certain that I am the only one to hand the application in typed (I obtained the electronic copy) form and in a folder.

I am a proud naturalized citizen of the USA who firmly believes in the Constitution, especially the Second Amendment. I support the work of the NRA in defense of the Second Amendment and am a Life Member. I recognize the importance of the Friends of NRA and continue to support them. Academically, I am maintaining excellent grades. I have integrated well into college life and represent my fellow gunsmithing students on the Montgomery Community College Student Government Association where I also serve as the Public Information Officer. I am also member of the Phi Beta Lambda club, will be joining the newly formed Montgomery Community College Trailblazers Shooting Club and am a Range Safety Officer. I am meticulous in all my endeavors and strive to do everything to the highest possible standard. Even though I get high accolades for my work I always look at it critically and look for elements to be improved upon. I truly believe a gunsmith is an artist that uses a canvas of wood and steel. My passion is to create art in wood steel and my desire is to be counted as such an artist.

[vash]

i helped my wife put together the very same essay.

it was difficult to say the least. in the end, we came up with a fantastic spin. instead of using words like "deserve" or "qualify", we used "value".

bang for the buck stuff. it came out pretty good.

[sammyg2]

To be sucessful in business you need to be a salesman no matter what the industry or profession you are in, and the product you are selling is you.

You need to convince the customer (panel that awards the scholarship) that the right decision is to give it to you.
it is possible to be a good salesman without compromising your priciples or morals, you just have to work harder.
Being completely honest about it will get you past the false-modesty.
This is good practice and it makes it much easier to sell a product you really believe in.
Good luck.

[Hugh R]

I hope you're applying for a position with the NRA or a similar organization. You made references to spoons in 6 out of 8 sentences.

[azasadny]

You've got my vote!

[Mericet]

Thanks guys. My wife maintains that I do write well. Just needed some inspiration.

sammy, true words that I am well aware of. It really helps to hear it from someone else every once in a while.

Hugh, I applied for a scholarship that is awarded by the Friends of NRA in North Carolina. My major in college is gunsmithing.

[Mericet]

Art, almost forgot. I hope my instructors and everyone else making a decision on this feels the same way.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by sammyg2

it is possible to be a good salesman without compromising your priciples or morals, you just have to work harder.
Being completely honest about it will get you past the false-modesty.
This is good practice and it makes it much easier to sell a product you really believe in.

lots of wisdom in there

[Mericet]

Thank you for all the help. Unfortunately I was not chosen. The two guys that got the nod have already finished their required projects for the semester. Well deserved to them. At least I know my projects still look better than theirs.