question for you parents: do you have a favorite kid?

vash · vash's Garage

i dont have kids..but growing up, i never felt like the favorite. that title went to my younger bro for my mom, and my sister was dad's "go-to" kid.

as we got older, i think the powers are shifting to me..(my mom mention moving in with me if/when my stepdad dies).

got me thinking. parents are supposed to be fair and unbiased. but that has to be a near impossiblity. someone has to be a favorite..right? i'm not talking one kids gets all the toys and the second kid eats dirt..but subtle, very subtle favortism..

am i insane? and is it a good thing i dont have kids?

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

greatest thing to do is to have a kid or kids. However we just have one and we could not be happier with her(great work ethic, great student). My wife has 3 siblings but she is definitely not the favourite. So my 95 year old father in law does not get cadillac treatment and we just do what is necessary. I have seen how destructive preferential treatment can be. Parents must treat children equally or else it sets the siblings up for long term fighting.

osidak · 12-21-2011, 07:09 AM

Yep I have a favorite - I like my kid better than anyone elses......

We have one son and that is the way it will remain - that said the parents that we know with multiple kids clearly have their "favorites" - right or wrong I think it is impossible to not have them

vash · vash's Garage

i know some great parents. 100% fairness and equality amongst the kids. but inside their heads, there has to be some bias.

juanbenae · juanbenae's Garage

you're my pops' favorite cliff.... even offer up a firewood run from his property for ya... WTF?

flatbutt · 12-21-2011, 07:46 AM

My first born is my favorite son, my second born is my favorite daughter. (Hint I only have two children)

M.D. Holloway · 12-21-2011, 08:11 AM

Yup - my fav is our littlest one (Emmy) but I only have one son (Max) - that trumps the fav! Confusing huh? hehehehe

imcarthur · imcarthur's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by flatbutt

My first born is my favorite son, my second born is my favorite daughter. (Hint I only have two children)

Same here but reverse order.

Ian

Burnin' oil · 12-21-2011, 08:14 AM

As a parent of five, I believe good parenting requires selecting, nurturing and encouraging a favorite child and not being shy about letting the others know they are NOT the favorite.

Joe Bob · Joe Bob's Garage

The one that pisses me off the least.....

I know I'm my Mommy's fav....she also told me 'I'm Special', right before getting on the little bus....

livi · 12-21-2011, 08:57 AM

Yes.

I am only human and so are my kids. But I am also a unique mixture of personality, traits, habits, interests.. and so are my kids. The attraction of recognition is not small.

shadowjack1 · shadowjack1's Garage

read this in green
I have two children, the one that lives out of state is my fav.

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

As a parent of five, I believe good parenting requires selecting, nurturing and encouraging a favorite child and not being shy about letting the others know they are NOT the favorite.

^^^ This. A nice mix of competition and shame is effective. Fold in some corporal punishment and a little mild torture and you've got some efficient parenting

ok, maybe I'm kidding about the competition part...

Burnin' oil · 12-21-2011, 09:17 AM

As I have said before, if my kids don't flinch when I lift my hand, I have failed as a parent.

nostatic · nostatic's Garage

I go for raising the eyebrow as the trigger. Less effort on my part.

VaSteve · 12-21-2011, 09:45 AM

Each child is unique and has unique needs so they are treated different and thus you have different experiences. I only hav e 2 and we do different things together. Will always be perceived as unfair by them in one instance or another.

That family on TV with 20 kids? Has to be unfair to most of them.

My wife was the middle child, she said she was probably the least favorite. She's very independant but has a 42 year old sister that still lives at home So was that the cause or result of her independance?

flatbutt · 12-21-2011, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burnin' oil

As I have said before, if my kids don't flinch when I lift my hand, I have failed as a parent.

HA! My Mom used a wooden spoon on our butts for awhile. Then all she needed to do is open the squeaky drawer where she kept it in order to restore order.

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

I think is good. Funny how that works as in the above poster. The more u spoil(ie. favour) a child, the less they want to leave. Make it too good for your kids and you have a house full of deadbeat kids!

As regards raising kids with anger, you end up with angry kids. This is not rocket science. I am not a psychologist. Treat your kids well(not too well) and expect respect. A raised eyebrow is a good one, less calories expended, blood pressure does not go up. I am thankful I have only one. The biological clock ran out for us plus had a vasectomy

algs911 · 12-21-2011, 11:03 AM

We have two boys (9 and 12). They're so different it's not like any one is my favorite. It's like picking your favorite 911 (the green one or the blue one). They're both totally awesome in their own way.

Not the case with my parents. They have a favorite (my younger sister) and I have not spoken to them in years. That may be harsh, but at least I finally broke the chain of abuse!

Al

nynor · 12-21-2011, 11:20 AM

my son, max is my favorite. hands down. he is a great little guy. he is also my wife's favourite. the other kids in the house are too hairy and never learned to talk. although they are potty trained.