Bittersweet phone call...just life

[speeder]

I was going to call this thread, "A tale of two phone calls."

The first was an hour long call with my brother last night on skype. He is working in Southern Pakistan where the big flood was recently, he is a relief worker in South and Southeast Asia. He's an almost unfailingly upbeat guy, often working the largest natural and manmade disasters in the world yet truly loves his life. He and his wife just got back from a month long vacation in the U.S. and France, visiting our family and hers. We talked about the time tables when their apartment in Paris would be empty this spring/summer for me to stay in, the remodeling work being done, etc.

It was a happy phone call. We laughed about some recently released films, he sees them all on airplanes. We mostly talked about my nephew, (sister's son), who is a HS senior. He is her oldest child and will be the first to attend college. He's an amazing kid, almost too good to be true, frankly. He's a nice guy, elite athlete and 4.5 GPA student in a really good Catholic HS. The latest news is that he aced his ACT college entrance exams, as in *perfect score* in all categories. He has applied to Harvard, Notre Dame and Stanford and will probably be admitted to all. He may or may not swim or play baseball in college, depending on the school and sport.

My brother and I always joke about the kid, (whom we love to death), hoping that he has some "dark side" that we don't know about. I hope that he does something illegal at least once in a while but it's doubtful.

This morning I called my sister to offer congratulations on this latest super-accomplishment from her son. What happened instead was that I heard a tragic story about a HS classmate of the kids who was paralyzed from a hit in a HS hockey game. It's been a big news story over the holidays in MN. but I had not heard about it. All of my sisters 3 kids have attended school with this kid since K-6 and they are good friends. It is their first tragedy in what has been a lucky childhood so far and they are all just about inconsolable. In one second, their friend went from being a healthy 16 year old to a quadraplegic. And it happened right in front of two of them, they were at the game.

Of course it falls under the shop-worn rubric about life being precious and good fortune being fleeting, "count your blessings" and put your problems in perspective, etc., etc... It's sad and tragic and ultimately meaningless like so much of life. Horrible things happen on a constant basis in this world and you always hope that the big, ugly hand of bad luck doesn't decide to touch you or your loved ones. When tragedy stikes someone close, besides the sadness is a feeling of, "that was too close for comfort."

I guess there isn't much of a point except that my sister lives in a world where everything usually goes extremely well and it's been temporarily shattered. My brother lives in a world of constant tragedy. He was a principle figure in the emergency relief effort after the Asian Tsunami, (as well as countless other disasters). He flew straight from our Christmas dinner in Minnesota to Sri Lanka where 300,000 dead bodies were waiting for him. Both siblings have very happy, fulfilling lives but in wildly different settings. And both are reminded on a regular basis how extremely lucky and fortunate our lives are.

[stomachmonkey]

Thanks for sharing.

Gives me pause for thought.

[Jim Richards]

Thanks for posting this Denis. It's easy to lose perspective, but nice to get it back.

[Hard-Deck]

Well written. I count my blessings, good fortunes each day and I have witnessed most of the bad things in life to make comparison. Thanks for sharing your story.

[azasadny]

Thanks for sharing this.

[kaisen]

Yes, the Jablonski story has been the news for a couple weeks now. Many people I know have been part of the story somehow. It's also a really big deal for hockey. I'm not going to link the thread here, but the "violence" in hockey is part of the sport. This particular hit likely could have been avoided, and steps are being taken to coach kids at this level to hit and check in safer ways. Sports are dangerous, and hockey as much as any. Very tragic that this young man will likely never walk again.

[craigster59]

Thanks Denis for reminding us of the frailty of life. We can get so caught up in the madness and hustle, that we constantly need to be reinforced about how it all can change in a moment.

I read the story of the young hockey player, but it was a week or so ago and it seemed they were still holding out hope that he might see some recovery. His attitude was upbeat and positive, seemed to be a real nice kid. Hope there is some good news coming on the horizon (we can always pray) and give your brother my thanks for his service to mankind. In this "It's all about me" world, he is living a life that is more enriched and fullfilled than most, this I am sure.

[porsche4life]

Stories like this always make me sit back and think a bit. Taking part in a few high risk activities myself, things like this always remind me to enjoy every moment of life, let those in my life that matter to me know how much they mean. You never know when you are tying in if this will be your last climb, or when you jump off the dock in full gear if this will be your last dive.

[speeder]

The echo effect from this accident on HS sports is going to be huge, at least in MN. There is already a (voluntary) pledge being taken by prep hockey players not to make any dirty hits, etc.

I know that youth sports, (and sports in general), are big everywhere but it's hard for outsiders to grasp how huge hockey is in MN. and how elite the level of play is at the HS level. Kids being drafted into the NHL or Olympic team out of HS, constantly. This kids was checked into the boards from behind by 2 players at once and had his neck broken and spinal cord severed. Makes me cry just typing it. The boys who made the hit are damaged for life. The injured boy has reached out to them from the hospital, telling them not to blame themselves, it was an accident. That's the kind of boy we are talking about here.

My nephew and nieces have made their FB profile pictures his jersey, when you look at their friend list it is hundreds of the same profile pic. Their little world is crushed for the moment.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Well written, thanks. I transitioned to working in high powered corporate settings to a non profit that serves mostly people with cerebral palsy. Going from an environment where most act entitled and their biggest issue is how much their stock options are worth to being around people that need help 24/7 to take a dump is humbling and gives you a very different perspective. Thanks to your brother for his amazing humanitarian work and I hope some good comes from the tragedy of this poor kid getting hurt so badly. I'm skeptical that it will.

[dtw]

Tragic. So sorry to hear about this. I'll wager that the kid is going to get a lot of copies of 11 Seconds by Travis Roy. I was at the BU game where Travis was crippled, watched it happen. Wish I could un-see it but there it is. It was one of those hits where the crowd instantly knew something was wrong and fell silent. He has since worked to turn lemons into lemonade.

Travis Roy - Motivational Speaker, Author, Activist » About Travis Roy

[Baz]

Wow.....PERSPECTIVE is right......I know I don't count my blessings as much as I should.

Thanks for that perspective on life, Denis!

[HardDrive]

Great post. Thanks for sharing.