Did my house get cased?

[nostatic]

or maybe cast a "lose package" spell?

[teenerted1]

so it was a call tag. probably a different tracking system/number. may not come up when you are tracking a package delivery. strange fedex didnt know this when you called.

we usually mail these out and the person calls the number on the tag and fedex comes by or you can drop off when ready. never send these to consumers only business address with normal delivery guy.

[PFFOG]

Danm, glad I am not paranoid, or I might have to take the keys out of the cars and trucks parked in the driveway, then I would have to have a key board, come into the house every time I wanted to use one.

I even stop to help people on the side of the road. silly me, Oh and anytime the mailman has a package, he just opens the front door and puts it on the floor for me.

Guess I trust people too much...................................

[Gogar]

I still think you can't be too careful,

And you should Dexter him anyway.

[motion]

I am very disappointed, Stomachmonkey. The God of PPOT, Snipper, would have taken the Fedex guy apart with his cold steel katana, in half inch increments. Or, he would have sent a couple of his bodacious females after the poor guy.

[herr_oberst]

"The God of PPOT, Snipper, would have taken the Fedex guy apart with his cold steel katana, in half inch increments. Or, he would have sent a couple of his bodacious females after the poor guy."

Stomachmonkey knocked his very young daughter on her ass in a role-playing simulation over this escapade!!!!!!
Lil' Snip has ñada on our hero.

[bell]

don't be so hard on the guy.....it's his wifes fault lol

[ramonesfreak]

next time have the kid cast a Petrificus Totalus spell until you get home from work, then you can cast a Finite Incantatem spell and interrogate him

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by nostatic

Did you at least wing the guy when he came to the door? Or perhaps an arrow to the knee?

Originally Posted by Rick V

Or at least waive a broadsword around..........

Monkey roll?

[notfarnow]

Sounds to me like you've been outsmarted by your wife's boyfriend

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by motion

I am very disappointed, Stomachmonkey. The God of PPOT, Snipper, would have taken the Fedex guy apart with his cold steel katana, in half inch increments. Or, he would have sent a couple of his bodacious females after the poor guy.

Originally Posted by herr_oberst

"The God of PPOT, Snipper, would have taken the Fedex guy apart with his cold steel katana, in half inch increments. Or, he would have sent a couple of his bodacious females after the poor guy."

Stomachmonkey knocked his very young daughter on her ass in a role-playing simulation over this escapade!!!!!!
Lil' Snip has ñada on our hero.

Man you guys are impatient.

There's a lot involved here.

Charlie had to leave early which changed my plan, headshot was no longer an option.

I waited until FedEx guy turned around to leave then pounced on his back and gave him a good old fashioned garroting while dragging him back into the house.

My street is very quiet but it was still broad day light so there could be potential witnesses and I needed to get rid of his truck.

I stashed him under the bed in the guest room after changing into his clothes. Took a picture of his face and printed it out to make a quick and dirty mask. I grabbed my bicycle and tossed it into the back of his truck and took off.

There is a red light camera about 4 miles from my house. I timed it to make sure I ran it and it got a picture of "him" driving. I drove a few more miles and left it on a residential street. Of course I climbed in the back, changed into my clothes, grabbed my bike and took off.

I took advantage of it being garbage day tomorrow by distributing pieces of his uniform in random garbage cans that I passed on the way home where the tough part was waiting.

I was not really sure what the best approach was so I researched it on the most informative site I know of.

Best way to sell larger body parts was an invaluable source of information and after several hours of research I decided I would combine the wood chipper/pig options.

I called my friend Aaron who owns a huge landscaping company. He let me borrow a chipper and one of his trucks. I tossed FedEx guy into the pick up bed covering him with some bags of mulch that were already there.

I then drove out to a large dairy farm in the area and set the chipper up by the pig pen and let her rip. It went a lot quicker than I expected and was not nearly as messy as I had anticipated. Just under 20 minutes.

So I'm back home now and relaxing for the 1st time in days.

Feels good.

[rusnak]

Swengin!!!

[Noah930]

So didja ship out the light fixture or not?

[rnln]

If the sender request adult signature, delivery guy can't accept your little girl signature. that is normal. The sender can even request the exact receiver to sign.

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

Daughter was home alone today. 3:45 the door bell rings.

It's a FedEx guy, holds up a piece of paper with our address and the wife's name on it, says he has a delivery for my wife.

Daughter tells him that "mom is in the shower". Guy says he'll come back tomorrow.

We are not expecting any FedEx's. The only thing I can think of is it may be replacements for the CC that got compromised last week.

Daughter is 100% positive that he did not have a package in his hand which is odd. They don't ring the bell then go back to the truck.

She says there was a normal FedEx truck in the street. He does not leave a door tag.

I call FedEx to track the package by destination address and they have nothing in the system. Just to be sure I call back and get a second person to check, nothing.

Call my neighbor who is an Ops Director for FedEx and coming to the door without a package was a red flag for him.

Think I'm working from home tomorrow.

[Joe Bob]

Originally Posted by ODDJOB UNO

ya know what?????????????? yer really stressing about this. heres the solution:



get dressed in yer cammo's.


plant a bunch of "INSURED BY HK" signs around property.


sit on yer porch, with a lil red wagon with an ice chest,full of beer.


with (2) bandeleros of ammo across yer chest.


yer pistol's(thats 2 pistoles) on yer hips.


yer rifle and shotgun leaning against the house siding.


yer dawg and even a cat.


get yer hunting amigo to come over.


and sit their with ci-gars in yer mouths.


and watch speed channel for 48-72 hours straight or until ya gotta make a beer run.




and i guuuuur-ranteee......................your problems WILL GO AWAY!



trust me on this. honest! "i'm an attorney!" LOL!

Do you bother to get up and pee?

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Noah930

So didja ship out the light fixture or not?

LOL, no.

It's still hanging from my ceiling.

The manufacturer told my wife they'd let her know if it needed to be returned.

Obviously they forgot the notification part.

As soon as the guy told me it was a pickup I knew it was the fixture.

He asks me if it's ready, I said no, had no idea you were coming to get it.

He looks at me for a few seconds like he expects me to go get it and I tell him I'm not climbing a ladder now to deal with it. I'll call you when it's ready for pick up.

The cause of all the drama. The glass has small bubbles and striations in it which throws a really cool pattern on the walls.



The media room in progress. Screen size will be 110". Love the color.

[Flieger]

Far out, man. Love the trippy light patterns.