OK, I was NOT going to do this but now my WIFE is taunting me because I observed

Groesbeck Hurricane · 03-15-2012, 01:42 PM

Yes I observed! There was ZERO ring on her finger!!!!

Tis time for vengeance upon WIFEY!!!!

(she is currently cackling with laughter, hope she doesn't, never mind....) (keep in mind, WIFEY is also adding stuff on as I type, hysterical cackling continues!!!)

Last weekend we were invited to a dinner party. At this party everyone was going around talking about all sorts of stuff. Seeing as I was old enough to be the FATHER of ALMOST all of them they were quite interested in my background and how I was invited into the group. Oh, WIFEY is there as well!!!! And, we arrived together (and left thusly)

So, most of the group is working on their final year of their Doctoral Studies in various simple fields like computer intelligence, neuro-psychology, engineering, etc.

What was found interesting was discussions on my farm and how I was working to make a profit on farming. My methods and why I liked doing things as they were done a few hundred years ago.

WIFEY is talking about her new .44 and her favorite .357 after leading into a conversation about her pair of .38s. She is having fun joking around with the group.

Soooooo, there is this one very exotic, VERY athletic lady! Vivacious, great sense of humour, wonderful laugh and smile, exotic look who looks GREAT in red. Very pretty, well spoken, educated, well formed! This young lady grew up with livestock and she wanted to talk about the chickens and the cows and the horses! We spent quite ALOT of time talking about this mundane stuff!

Soooooo, food is served! She makes side remark to WIFEY about the other women and how they are not eating very much. She is GLAD there is meat available as a dish! Compliments on WIFEY's dish! Yep, slim lady PILES on the food!

She follows us and sits next to me at dinner. We start talking about food at our table, the meat eaters!

So, the couple across the table start talking about her latest play! She is an actress? NOPE, dancer. She loves modern and jazz. The couple start asking about her training and I'm sitting here thinking "What the hey????". She lets us all know she has been studying aerial routines and high wire. She really loves to have 30 plus feet of room up and down so she can get some steam up for her moves. Oh, she also starts talking about how helpful it is to be a contortionist!!!!

OK, black hair, brown eyes, 5'5", fabulous figure of an athlete, great muscle tone, very little make-up (not needed), dancer who is also a contortionist.

On leaving the party, WIFEY grabs me, pulls me up, and says: You BA#&*#%D!! Gives me a deep kiss and laughs at me. Get in the car: WIFEY asks me how important is contortionism to filling out the requirements to the perfect woman. I state it can take the place of money!

JUMP FORWARD: She e-mailed WIFEY (and ME

) with her address, number, etc and invited us to join the group for Sunday Celebrations of drinks, eats, games (NOT THAT KIND!!!!!), and conversation. We are now in the geek cool crowd from the local university....

WIFEY is too smug right now!!!!!!

(WIFEY is a strawberry blonde, great shot (EXCELLENT actually

), great sense of humour, bought our Porsches, helps with mechanical stuff, not TOOOO terribly bad to look at

, (and not of importance butttttt) and is somehow staying with someone a bit older than her! AT LEAST ONE OF US IS LUCKY!!!!!

evile wife lady is still enjoying this.....

daepp · 03-15-2012, 01:56 PM

Hmm - interesting.

scottmandue · 03-15-2012, 01:59 PM

I feel like I have entered a weird Lubemaster Odd Job parallel universe...

porsche4life · porsche4life's Garage

Is anyone else confuzzled about the point here?

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I feel like I have entered a weird Lubemaster Odd Job parallel universe...

Add Joe Bob to your mix....

slakjaw · 03-15-2012, 02:17 PM

You mean coitus.

billybek · billybek's Garage

Let me be the first one to say.....
Pics or it didn't happen!!!!

Good story, but seriously we need pics!

slakjaw · 03-15-2012, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybek

Let me be the first one to say.....
Pics or it didn't happen!!!!

Good story, but seriously we need pics!

+1

Her name isn't Maude lebowski is it?

Zeke · 03-15-2012, 02:59 PM

It's easy, the dancer/contortionist is looking for a ménage à trois.

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

I am somewhat confused also but can say this. You are swimming in a pool of alligators and most of them are female and what I can gather they are hitting on you and you are I think quite enjoying it. I think that your wife is somewhat peeved. If you think that the grass is greener on the other side, that depends on how good your marriage is. At least u left with the one that brung you as the saying goes. Am I right or wrong in my assumptions?

daepp · 03-15-2012, 03:01 PM

+60

bivenator · 03-15-2012, 03:25 PM

I think he is fishing for the threesome, but post pics please.

Groesbeck Hurricane · 03-15-2012, 04:15 PM

Hey, Mikey ain't playing so SOMEONE has tooooo!!!! Besides, PPOT needed some new action to think over! Mike had Roofer Chick, I have Contortionist Lady!

Nope, no shopping! Boy stays home, Wife is secure in relationship and she is laughing about all this. They are more thinking of me as a father figure. It does not hurt that I have a warped sense of humor and took our dinner party into strange happenstances and conversations! I was also able to talk about living in another country and other languages. If ONLY I spoke Japanese!

Photos came out too washed! I'm bummed but the guy who brought me in (I'm actually his stand in dad) is even MORE bummed! His girl was HOT that night...

Nope, I'm not straying, girl is not looking for anything other than friendship, Wife has several friends in the group. No alligators, no swapping bait, nothing.

Of course I'm doing this just to mess with yall and WIFEY is getting a kick out of it! I'm sure there is more... But I'd have to loose 25 years....