Driving Topless

[daepp]

...for you married Targa and Cab drivers!

Topless driving drives men to the dogs
By Doug McIntyre, Columnist

Nothing says summer in Southern California like a top-down cruise along the beach with the wind whipping though your hair, unless it's the wind whipping through HER hair.

You see it in commercials and movie montages all the time: a young couple in love, laughing as the sun glints off their Ray-Bans and blindingly-white, orthodontically-perfect teeth.

Of course these days the guys driving convertibles in TV ads tend to be silver- haired gents with bladder issues, but the dream is still the dream.

The dream of the open road, freedom! With nothing between you and the heavens!

But let me blow the cover off this mass-marketed myth: Girls don't like riding in convertibles.

At least not after you marry them.

I drive a convertible, an 8-year-old Ford with 80,000 miles. I bought it to indulge my own Southern California fantasies, and no surprise here -- it hasn't worked out.

For starters, I'm too pale to drive top down in this latitude. The first traffic jam or long red light and my dead-fish, belly-white pasty flesh begins to sizzle like sausage patties on a griddle.

This is actually my second stab at a California convertible. My first, also a Ford, was 22 years old when I pushed it west from New York in December 1985.

Most of it made it here.

I lost a couple of tires along the way, as well as a water pump, thermostat and the radiator, but the real fun began in Grants, N.M., when the gas tank
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ruptured, resulting in a six-hour layover while I tracked down a replacement tank from a local junkyard.

If you've ever wondered how long six hours can be, try cooling your heels for that long in Grants, N.M.

But eventually, that old Ford made the climb over the San Bernardino Mountains, and I was ready to soak up that California sun.

Until I actually experienced the California sun.

With a beet-red farmer's tan on my arms and neck, and sweat pooling in big, dark half-oval pit stains on my shirt, I began to question why my convertible didn't seem as much fun as those convertibles in the movies.

But a convertible is a chick magnet, right?

Well, they are until the "I do's" are said.

"Could you put the top up?" asks The Wife. But only when she isn't asking, "You're not going to put the top down, are you?"

And as every husband knows, she's not really asking.

Even when I point out how lovely Fritz says it's going to be, she still slams the door on the fingers of my PCH beach- cruising dream with the unrebuttable, "It'll mess my hair."

Women will indulge their boyfriends by riding with the top down about as long as men are willing to dance with their girlfriends -- just long enough to seal the deal. Once you're husband and wife that convertible is about as welcome as that photo album you keep in the garage with Polaroids of ex-girlfriends.

So let me offer the following advice for the married man who still dreams of racing top-down along PCH with his loved one's wind-swept hair blowing in the breeze:

Buy a dog.

[chocolatelab]

that is so funny.

well done.

[Zeke]

It takes a different breed to drive a convertible with the top down.

When I met my wife, we were both coming off divorces. She wanted a Targa; never owned a Porsche before. I wanted a new truck. We each got what we desired. She had her top off more than on like in her younger days with a '67 Austin Healey. Probably never did have the top up on the Healey.

I drove around in the truck nice and cool. You know the A/C in 911s up to the 964 series sucks, right? Fast forward a bit and she's driving a '67 VW convert. What's with the '67's? Finally all the converts go and she has a sedan. Actually a '96 Impala Super Sport. Got within a month or 2 or paying that off and it's gone. What's next?

A '62 356 B non sunroof coupe. Not a hint of A/C in that skate. 1 year and that's gone. My choice that time. So, eventually she returns to her roots. Well, in cars anyway. She won't let me see her gray hair. It gets colors that only come on expensive dogs whose hair drags on the floor when standing up.

Yes, a Boxster. Seems like the logical answer: a Porsche and a convertible...with good A/C. So there we are.

Except she likes that Jaguar of a sedan that I got in place of my Carrera. Windows up and cold A/C.

I told her.

[tweezers74]

Balderdash!!!!! This is backwards thinking. If anything, I would be MORE likely to ride with the top down after I got married or with a gentleman for a long time. At the beginning, I would want to look good, pristine, hot. By the time we're married, he's seen me after a romp in the hay, my hair all mussed up, makeup all askew so what if I care if the top down messes up my hair?

Besides, forget him. I will get my own Targa. . Then he'll be the one that has to decide whether or not he wants to ride with me because I WILL have the top down.

[PorscheGAL]

I'm with Tweezer. My Targa never has the top on unless the temp gets below 40. Of course here that happens 1-2 weeks a year. I love convertibles. The next one I want is a c1 corvette roadster. Top will always be down.

[Rick V]

My Boxster is actually my wife's, it was a replacement for her Miata. She loves the top down

[Laneco]

I really think it depends on the chick. As for the ones who posted here, and for myself as well, top down unless it is actively raining!!

I've put about 12,000 miles on this and it has no top whatsoever. Including one 2,500 mile jaunt.

angela

p.s. - sunscreen SPF bazillion...

[recycled sixtie]

It is a personal preference. Even without the wife I would keep the top up. Why? Even with the windblocker there is buffeting which is annoying especially with hiway driving. Only when it is really hot would I consider putting the top down.

[tweezers74]

Angela! That picture is beautiful. Love it!

[Shaun @ Tru6]

Originally Posted by Laneco

Angela, this shot would make a great shirt with a 1 shopped in front of the 25! you take the best pics!

When I had my Targa, whether it was 95 or 25, the top was off, except in situations like this.

[Flieger]

I knew topless meant car top, but I still clicked on the thread with the hope that just this one time...

[look 171]

My 930 or S2000's top never come down. They both ended right on my lap. The bikini top was always there on my old Jeep. I can deal with no doors, but no top will fry my fat azz. Bicycle riding is another story, but sitting in traffic is no fun during the summer months. My wife will drive the S2000 once in a while during Winter, Spring, or Fall but never in the summer.

[fastfredracing]

I can remember being young , wild and free, and having just broke up with my gf of 5 years, I conned a buddy to go on a 2 week surfing / skirt chasing expedition to the beach. We took the roof off my ratty old 85 corvette, strapped the surfboards across the top , and headed for the Carlolinas. We were so studly, that we did not need no stinkin' roof panel, the vette was beat up and ratty, I was pissed off at life, and I really did not care if it got rained in. I have never been sunburned so badly before in my entire life. Mostly just our faces and arms, but holy cow. We ended up doing our return drive home at night just to avoid cooking ourselves.

[stogie25]

I agree.

My ex wife hated my Jeep, especially with the top off. I have found girls that tolerate riding in the convertible, but none that love it. When giving friends rides, most girls consistently ask to take the Porsche, most guys want to take the Jeep.

[tweezers74]

Either look way fun to me! I loved jeeps growing up...

[Joe Bob]

[motion]

Being the luckiest guy in the world, my wife loves riding topless, nat. To wit, the top has only been up with her in it a couple times in 8 years. Even less with just me. It's practically a crime to have the top up on a cab

[motion]

I know, I'm a smug aresehole. At least I'm not wearing white sunglasses.

[Flieger]

Whoa, motion posted a photo with no motorcycles in it!

[Evans, Marv]

My wife wanted a convertible for a new car. I knew in my heart she would never put the top down if she had one, so I got her to compromise & got a car with a sun roof. It's very nice, lets in lots of light, no buffeting or intrusive wind - just nice air circulation. I always open it when we go somewhere. Today I asked her as she was going somewhere when was the last time she opened the sunroof when she was by herself. Her answer was that she didn't remember. At least I get to enjoy it, and she usually keeps quiet about it.