Politically Correct Company Holiday

[Por_sha911]

December 1st TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional caroles. Feel free to sing along! And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time. No gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
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December 2nd TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year.) However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no
Christmas caroles sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
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December 3rd TO: ALL
EMPLOYEES

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gift
exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director
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December 7th TO: ALL
EMPLOYEES

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?

Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director
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December 9th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."

Patty Lewis Human Rat-races
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December 10th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit, whether you like it or not. You can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have
feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Witch from Hell
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December 14th TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director

[onewhippedpuppy]

You won't hear me saying "Happy Holidays". It's "Merry Christmas" dammit. And if you choose to not have a merry Christmas, I really don't care.

[72doug2,2S]

Ha! I'm tired of this nondescript, PC, Lib###^ word police waste of time. It is Christmas, it is not two weeks abroad in Greece. Anyway, to all the PC morons out there, holiday actually means Holy Day.

It's either a Happy Christmas Holiday, Thanks Giving, New Years, or in some parts of the land Chanukah.

I have Christmas music on my Itunes, the stupid music industry caused me to change "Holiday" to "Christmas."

[Jim Richards]

Happy Holiday, Dougie.*


*Out of deference to the nice Puritans who think your pagan holiday is evil ju-ju.

[Devil Dog Mosport]

Unfortunately, while a funny story... its becoming more of a reality everyday....

Not the country I fought in two wars to defend anymore..
SemperFi

[tharbert]

Divided we fall...in a lot of ways.

[wdfifteen]

Wasn't this posted here last year?

[Jim Richards]

These spam posts get resurrected every year.

[sammyg2]

Originally Posted by rich26@me.com

Unfortunately, while a funny story... its becoming more of a reality everyday....

Not the country I fought in two wars to defend anymore..
SemperFi

Thank you.

[Don Ro]

If you don't love Jesus, then go to hell!

[dafischer]

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

These spam posts get resurrected every year.

Yeah, and unfortunately, we live with PC all year 'round. I'll take this kind of "spam" once a year, thank you.

[mikesride]

I'm an Atheist....Its Merry Christmas in my house, started as the Christian celebration of Christs birth and has grown to a huge non secular celebration for many. When somebody wishes me Merry Christmas or says God bless you...I feel privileged that they think enough of me to express it in a way that truly holds meaning to them. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by mikesride

I'm an Atheist....Its Merry Christmas in my house, started as the Christian celebration of Christs birth and has grown to a huge non secular celebration for many. When somebody wishes me Merry Christmas or says God bless you...I feel privileged that they think enough of me to express it in a way that truly holds meaning to them. MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

Kudos to you! I firmly believe that everyone has the right to believe whatever they want, but I also don't feel that society should change to accommodate every belief. Let's face it, Christmas for many is no longer a Christian holiday anyway, Santa and Jesus aren't known for hanging out together. Just like Halloween really isn't for devil worshipers.

[Joeaksa]

Originally Posted by onewhippedpuppy

You won't hear me saying "Happy Holidays". It's "Merry Christmas" dammit. And if you choose to not have a merry Christmas, I really don't care.

Everytime I hear someone saying "Happy Holidays" I return with "I am not politically correct, its Merry Christmas!"

[gprsh924]

I tell people to enjoy the holidays. Has zero to do with PC and everything to do with the fact that I potentially won't see /speak to them until until after both Xmas and New Years. Multiple holidays

[72doug2,2S]

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

Happy Holiday, Dougie.*


*Out of deference to the nice Puritans who think your pagan holiday is evil ju-ju.

Quite right. The American puritans did not celebrate any liturgical calendar holidays. They in fact celebrated one holiday called Guy Fawkes day, Bonfire night, or here in America it was sometimes called Pope's Day.

It was a chance to celebrate the failure of some misguided Catholics who wanted to kill the king and create another Papist empire. It was also a chance to show how non-Romish they really were.

I don't take it to that extreme. Like most protestants, I want to rejoin the Catholic faith, but not until they reform.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

Wasn't this posted here last year?

I probably did post it last year and it is still funny.

Originally Posted by Jim Richards

These spam posts get resurrected every year.

Huh? I believe in another post you (or another one of your contemporaries) said something along the lines of "isn't it sad when people don't realize its just a joke and they get upset..." Lighten up. Yeah, yeah, I know, it takes a lot of hubris to tell you what to do...
Merry Christmas.