Are you good at schmoozing?
 

I've got a few friends who are charming, suave, even debonair. I'm not, but will need to be in the next few years. Been thinking of going to charm school or something like that.

Is this a skill you are born with? Or is it something you can learn?

Some are born with it.... Some learn it... I think those who are born with it are way more natural, less obvious about it.

You can learn it. It helps to practice a lot..

I'm not. Wish I was better. Glad I'm a civil eng and not in sales. :)

No!

Yes. It may be my best asset.

Depends. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Mostly no.

Hang out with an Italian family for a while. They are the champs. I would say I was not born with the skill but did learn it somewhat over time. When I see a real master at it I know I'm out of my league.

What I would give to for it to come natural to me. I'm an introvert in an extroverts world and it really sucks sometimes. I can force it but like noted above it just isn't natural. I do find that the more I do it the easier it gets but if I take enough of a break from schmoozing I revert right back to my natural tendencies. I would love to hear how others like myself make it happen and if anyone has been successful in making it become natural for them.

I would recommend reading "How to Win Friends & Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. You can read/get the just of it in couple hours...

Or here is a quick tip: Just ask questions and listen. It's better if you ask questions about them - most people like talking about themselves.

Can't schmooze, and can't suck up. Probably slowed my progress at jobs in my earlier years, but that is how, and why I ended up self employed.
I always liked jobs where my performance spoke for itself.

no. Nor do I appreciate or trust those that do as 9 of 10 times they're playing some angle in an attempt to benefit (only) themselves.

Smile and enjoy what you are doing. Hang with positive people.

The key to "schmoozing" is to ask people about themselves. People love to talk about themselves...

schmoozing requires a certain level of phoonyness and a desire to get something from someone else by impressing them to the point that they actually want to do something for you.

I'm a really good schmoozer if I want something from you ;)

I'm not good at the salesman schmooze, and really distance myself from those who are, it's so fake. I am good at having fun with close friends (not strangers) and being quick witted, and the funny guy.

I avoid shmoozers who see me as a target for a sale, or to get something from me. I love shmoozers who sell products that i am not ever going to be a user of, or that i can do nothing for, as they a fun to be around.

also my experience

I can behave myself in social situations, have done the go around and meet the doctors thing, but do best on word of mouth. Patient tells their primary care doc or their friend how I take care of them.

It helps to be nice, and it does not cost extra.

Mean people suck. They are also bad for business.


What makes you say you will need to be charming?

I couldn't disagree more. Schmoozing has almost nothing to do with being a phony and very little to do with greed. It is used by greedy phonys to get things they want.

Schmoozing is an art of making other people feel good about themselves. It means you spend time to promote someone else and not yourself. In a practical application: salesmen do it when they encourage you to trust your judgment and make a decision to chose what they are selling.

There is a something much more powerful than schmoozing. CHARISMA. JFK and Clinton had it by the boatload. People are naturally drawn to a person with natural charisma even when that person is just quietly being themselves.

One question for Shaun - Why do you need to acquire the skill?