Having the "talk" with your parents

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by Dottore

BTDT.

A key component of this talk is for you to gather information from them. Sources of income, investments, insurances, debts, payables, cash, where they hide their keys, combination locks, account passwords and PINs etc etc. You need to get all of this down early, while they are of sound mind. I can't empasize this point enough.

Ps. Oh yes, and get full and complete powers of attorney from them.

All of the above plus.

I am lucky in that my Father (my Mother passed away in 1990 - not the luck part) and I have worked through the details together. He has had, since his father seemed to cling to the notion that all would work out without planning, coordinated all the aspects of his getting to lead the remaining years of his life without being a burden to anyone financially.

It is the way, trust me. It is not maudlin in the least. It makes perfect sense.

[Rapewta]

That is a very hard thought.
My Mom & Dad are 86 and live three miles from us in a nice house.
We check on them all the time. But leave them alone. Don't need anything they own.

What I figure is that when one of my parents passes... the other one will come and live with us. I know it is hard but family is family.

They both belong to a fitness club and go twice a week. Heck... I am begining to think that they are in better shape than me and the wife.

They love life and it is going to be so hard to face the facts.
Anyway, my Dad and I are going to the Salt Flats speed week in August to have fun.
One of the reasons I have never had to "grow up" is that I still have parents.

Sunday, my Pop and I are going to watch the Super Bowl, eat pizza and down a few. I love my folks and I know that in time, all things must pass.

My Mom and my wife have got all the legal stuff taken care if. What really kills me is when my Mom comes over (still drives!) and gives us things like old photographs and dishes, etc that have some family importance.
I hate taking the stuff. It is like... "Mom, are you planning to die soon?".

The hard fact is that you as a son or daughter have to take care of the legal requirements that will be needed when your parents do pass.

[Chucked]

My dad just turned 87 and mom is 85. Until last summer they lived in an apartment about 15 minutes from our home. Dad was able to provide care for mom who has limited mobility. It all changed when dad fell breaking his hip and pelvis. Hip replacement went ok but he just could no longer handle himself, mom and the many routine things it takes to live independently. We moved them into our house and I have to say it has been a very good thing. No way could my wife and I let them go to a facility.

[fingpilot]

I'm 59 as is my wife. We met in second grade. Spent the middle 35 years married to the wrong people.

My stepkids (her children) approached us over the holidays with a plan to buy a house in California that has a cottage out back. It was going to be for us.

I bust out laughing, I know, wrong response. We bought a 40' diesel pusher (my 7th motorhome, her third), successfully escaped California back before the current exodus, and are almost upon our second retirement, looking forward to becoming snowbirds. Our plans have always included lots (sometimes 3 weeks straight every three months) of time with the grandkids. I asked my other half if this plan of theirs was because perhaps she had telegraphed a hesitation on her part towards our 'plans', but she claims our 'plans' are more her idea than mine. She has never travelled, I retired from doing nothing BUT travel.

After the thought sank in, I realize now that their motive was genuinely altruistic. They know we love being around the grandkids, and vice-versa, but we both do have limits. (Best day? The day they arrive. The day they leave.)

We leave for Oshkosh mid July in the Motorhome.

[flatbutt]

I just put my Mom into assisted living last week. Second hardest thing I ever did. But we planned, we have the money. And she's still lucid enough to understand why and what. That's important. Don't wait until they've lost touch with reality. It's harder for them to deal with the change then.