legal advice needed

[genrex]

I'm hesitant to post something like this, but I need advice.

My sister and I are the executors of our mother's Will, and we are her protectors. Mom is 84 years old and is in mental decline, with increasingly severe memory loss and problems with living independently, and we think she might have to be placed in assisted-living this year.

Last night was a shocker. I was visiting my Mom at her apartment, and her 85yo retired-teacher man friend was also there. They told me that they recently got secretly married, and they showed me the marriage certificate. They also said that this week, Mom is transferring her entire $ 200k out of Vanguard Securities, and putting it in "her new checking account" at the credit union where he banks. My Mom is firm in her conviction to do that, and she refuses to discuss it.

Her re-marriage puts her assets at risk, right? My father's Will (ten years ago) said all his assets go to Mom. Similarly, Mom's Will says all her assets go to her children. But what if she is admitted into an assisted-living place later this year, and she is MARRIED (secretly married) to this antisocial loner dude who nobody likes? He can do whatever he wants with her money, right?

My sister and I promised our father on his deathbed that we would protect and take care of Mom. It would be much easier to take care of Mom if this "husband" doesn't take her money and disappear.

I'm not sure how to proceed. Should we try to get Power-of-Attorney? Should we try to get Mom's marriage invalidated due to her mental decline?

Any advice is appreciated, but keep it legal please...

Rog

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[Dueller]

Is she mentally incompetent? Will her treating physician testify/sign an affidavit to that effect? If so you neeed to set up a conservatoship IMMEDIATELY to protect her assets,

[genrex]

Jim -- yes, I believe she is mentally incompetent to manage her affairs. The change has been so rapid in the last month that it caught me unprepared.

Can we compel her to see her physician? She is in good physical health, and doesn't like to go to the doctor. We have a friend who is a clinical psychologist... could he "visit" her with us, and do that?

I'll talk with my sister today, and get started on the conservatorship.

Thank you for your reply!

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[Dueller]

Genrex....PM'd ya.

Edit: can't PM ya. Wanted to give you my cell numbe so we could go over the procedure

[genrex]

Oops! I'll set up my PM now, and send you a message.

[LWJ]

No advice just support. Good luck.

Larry

[genrex]

Thank you, bro.

What a crazy world. I wish this was one of those problems that could be fixed with good beer... please have one for me.

EDIT: just got off the phone with Dueller... had a nice long chat and covered all the possibilities and contingencies. It is very comforting to talk with such an experienced and laid-back "country lawyer" who has tons of knowledge and common sense... not to mention the funny stories, which I won't mention...

Thank You, Jim. You are a humble treasure.

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[Zeke]

generx, nicely written. We have another "country lawyer" or 2 around here that are very helpful. No names.

[rusnak]

Dueller, good man! Thank you, on behalf of all that is decent.

[speeder]

Sorry to hear about your mom but glad that Dueller could help. Besides being an all-around good guy, he seems to be particularly versed in family law and trusts/wills, so what a timely treasure indeed.

I hope you can quickly slam the door on this old bastard, what on earth is going to spend her $$ on at his age anyways?? My dad, who used to be the biggest spender on earth, has almost completely run out of things to buy at age 80. He doesn't even want a new car, and he used to get one every 2-3 years when the current one was still like new.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by rusnak

Dueller, good man! Thank you, on behalf of all that is decent.

+1 on this. I cannot imagine the stress Genrex is going through in this situation. Dueller thank you for being a decent human being!

[red-beard]

Originally Posted by genrex

Thank you, bro.

What a crazy world. I wish this was one of those problems that could be fixed with good beer... please have one for me.

EDIT: just got off the phone with Dueller... had a nice long chat and covered all the possibilities and contingencies. It is very comforting to talk with such an experienced and laid-back "country lawyer" who has tons of knowledge and common sense... not to mention the funny stories, which I won't mention...

Thank You, Jim. You are a humble treasure.

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Did he finally breakdown and spill what happened in NOLA? We've only been waiting a couple of years. Has the statute of limitations run out yet Jim?

[MauleM5-235]

I am in Portland, but am licensed to practice in OR & WA. If you need names of attorneys in Seattle, let me know and I can check around for you.

I second the advice Dueller gave you.

[911dean]

Dueller your a good man. Generex good luck. I hope you get this ironed out.

Dean

[Scooter]

Rog,

I am an attorney in Seattle. I handle estate planning and some guardianship issues. If you want to talk to someone local, send me a PM with your number and I will give you a call.

[Por_sha911]

Rog,
As you've probably already been told;
-Each state has its own laws so you need a lawyer experienced in these things in her state
-In some states, legal spouse gets everything unless the will specifically excludes them (In NC, children are entitled to a percentage of the inheritance even when they are not mentioned in the will. The only way to prevent that is to specifically state that they are excluded).
-Executorship means nothing until after her death
-Power of Attorney is different from Power over Will (having her declared incompetent which isn't easy or pretty).
-If you are going to lawyer up, the sooner the better.

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Best wishes.

[MRM]

There are two short answers to your questions. Yes, something fraudulent probably happened. No, that's not right. The marriage was fraudulent. There is no other explaination for the secret marriage and immediate transfer of funds. And yes, there is something you can do about it, but it will take a lawyer who is expert in elder law and estate issues and it needs to be done NOW. As in 8 am tomorrow morning. Minutes count. You can undue the harm as long as it hasn't gone too far. You have to move now with all legal resources available. If you wait a few days it won't matter if you hire the ghost of F. Lee Bailey.

Dueller is expert in these matters. His advice will be solid. Follow it.

[genrex]

Thank you, everyone. It has been a long day. I took today off from work, and will take tomorrow off also, possibly more. After talking with Dueller, I called my sister, who is a CPA and lives two hours away. She is taking the rest of the week off from work (might lose her seasonal tax job because of this), and she will be here tomorrow afternoon. She called Mom, and then I called Mom. This is our plan, which Mom has agreed to:

Per Mom's wishes, her $ 200k will be withdrawn from Vanguard Securities, and transferred into two equal-size checking accounts at the credit union where her new husband banks. Both checking accounts will have 3 names on them (Mom, my sister, and myself) and both accounts will be used to pay Mom's bills plus monthly "walking money."

Mom's new husband will not have access to the money. We want the accounts to be set up so that all withdrawals require two signatures. Also, in the event of Mom's passing, the accounts will revert to us (her children).

Mom has agreed to this, and hopefully she will not change her mind before we can do this. Obviously paying her bills every month (and giving her spending money every month) will be a bit of a hassle, but for now this seems like the best way to do things. We plan to open the checking accounts tomorrow afternoon, and start the funds transfer from Vanguard as soon as possible.

Fingers crossed...

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[Rick Lee]

My mom's name is also on my grandmother's checks and my mom maintains her mom's checkbook and monthly expenses. But we're quite sure she has other funds she doesn't tell anyone about and we suspect she's been making large gift payments to her caretaker.

[genrex]

It is very difficult to talk rationally about money with people who are a bit irrational. My sister came up with the idea that we give Mom $ 10k to spend however she wants, and that's what sealed the deal. I didn't like the idea, but hey, whatever works...

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