Have you ever been pressured or persuaded

[recycled sixtie]

into getting married by your girlfriend's father?Or conversely have you pressured or persuaded your daughter or her boyfriend to get married? Or do you stay the heck out of it?

[DonDavis]

No, no, and yes, stay the heck out of it. All the way the heck out of it. That may have had some credence back in the 1800s when marriages were a completely different dynamic, but not in the 21st century.

Let's say mom and dad pressure little Suzy to get hitched. ( Btw, if parents do that, it's about them, not the daughter and that = selfishness ) She reluctantly enters a union with Joe. Later, it turns into a disaster. Suzy will have every right to be ticked at parents for "pushing" her in the wrong direction.

I believe parents shouldn't meddle in those types of ventures.

And I'm qualified to proffer that opinion. My daughter got married a couple weeks ago. The guy asked me for permission and I said...
"Well, the permission comes from her, but you have my blessing and support."

[recycled sixtie]

Congratulations Don on your daughter's wedding. I agree totally to stay the heck out of it. Just curious to see how those who felt they were on the receiving end of the persuasion and how they handled it.

[peppy]

I was dating my wife many years ago in my mid 20's, and my mom told me I was eventually going to have to sh** or get off the pot.

It took about 10 more years before we got married.

[romad]

Originally Posted by peppy

I was dating my wife many years ago in my mid 20's, and my mom told me I was eventually going to have to sh** or get off the pot.

It took about 10 more years before we got married.

and why then?

[gacook]

Kinda, in a roundabout way. With my first wife, when she was 18 and I was 20, I was in the Army (moved away a few months after we started dating, and was gone for almost 2 years), then got stationed about 75 miles from where she lived. She's in college, we talk about moving in together (we're engaged at this point), and her dad proffers "If you're going to move in with him, you might as well get married." I'm thinking this was probably meant more along the lines of "Don't do it, yet." But, after talking, we decided he had a point, and we got married the following week.

After marrying way, WAY too young, we of course had our issues. We lasted 12 years, had 3 great kids and are divorced now. But we're back to being pretty damn good friends now, so that's a good thing. Having experienced that for myself, my advice to my kids (and nieces, nephews and any other young people I know) is wait. Just because you love someone doesn't necessarily mean you're ready to spend your life with them.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by romad

and why then?

This is funny.

[peppy]

Originally Posted by romad

and why then?

cause my life is a lot more fun with her than without her

[ckelly78z]

No, no, and yes as well. I'll give my advice when asked for it, but staying the heck out of it is the best approach. I tell my daughter to be absolutely sure before taking tht step. Her and her boyfriend will be moving into a 16x80 trailer on a 1 acre lot with new septic and well just down the road from us next month when it is finished. I have no problem with him, and actually like him, but we will see how they get along while splitting chores and expenses.

[dennis in se pa]

Get together. Have kids and a great relationship, but don't get "married". You can make a commitment to one another without getting the government, and eventually lawyers, involved. Marriage is an archaic institution designed to control the populous.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by dennis in se pa

Get together. Have kids and a great relationship, but don't get "married". You can make a commitment to one another without getting the government, and eventually lawyers, involved. Marriage is an archaic institution designed to control the populous.

We have some friends that live together, have a child and are not married. When asked why they had not married she said that he was not mature enough to get married to. My thought then "he is mature enough to have a baby with?"
I am old fashioned in this respect. Relationship has a greater chance of succeeding if the commitment of marriage is involved. Of course each one to their own.

[fintstone]

Old fashioned myself. I would advise any woman not to cohabitate with a man outside of marriage. If the man is not ready to make a committment to a wife and potential children...then he isn't ready to enjoy the perks. No one buys a cow when milk is free. Until you are married...both are free agents.