Waiters asking for names at dinner, new trend?

[Neilk]

Twice in the past week, I have been at restaurants where the waiters have asked the names of everyone at the table. These weren't cheap chain restaurants, but rather places with entrees from $15-$25.

This fake sincerity to try to connect with you by asking your name really bugs me and I don't want to be an ass and say none of your business (I have seen too many threads about the consequences of pissing off restaurant staff). The first time this happened was with clients, so I couldn't exactly give a fake name, and last night it happened with my wife who wasn't ready for me to give out a fake name.

I guess I am becoming a crotchety middle aged guy. Stop trying to care how my day is going or what my name is, just do a good job of serving me. If I am regular, then you can start pretending to care, but in both of these cases, this was the first time there...

mini rant off.

Have you noticed this in your area?

[dad911]

Best bartender I ever met remembered my name a month later, and this was at a very busy bar. Don't know how she did it, nor do I remember her name

If it bugs you, test the waiters by going back, and admonish them if they forgot your name.

If I was never going back I'd probably reply with a smart-ass comment like I'm in witness protection....

[Tinbit]

My name is "sir", feel free to address me in that manner.

<------- Also a crotchety old man.

[onlycafe]

depends on what you want to eat, you could be hamilton burger or hamilton fish.

[Zeke]

Well, I guess I'm already known as a crotchety old man. I get somewhat annoyed when taking with someone on the phone regarding business, like banking or similar and an obviously much younger female insists on calling my by my first name. Older people that I feel more on par with usually address me as "Mr." Not so much in public.

But I really don't want some server coming up to the table and saying, "Hey, Milt, what're you havin' tonight."


I'm not having any of it.

[genrex]

This has been happening for about a year at many of the Seattle coffee-shops. After one or two times, the good baristas stop asking and just call me by name. This hasn't happened to me at a local restaurant yet, probably because they don't want me as a regular customer.

_

[stomachmonkey]

Meh, after the wait staff introduce themselves I typically introduce myself and the family.

I enjoy a bit of light hearted banter before we order.

[peppy]

I know about 1/2 my customers by name.

[RANDY P]

Some "expert' must have written an article about asking for names in a trade magazine...... Same when they ask "how are you today?!" and you're in a drive thru. Hate that.

I find it awkward and intrusive- we all know it's insincere so why does it matter?

[Cloggie]

Way too familiar for me....but then again, every time I go to the US it takes about 2 weeks to get over my annoyance over the typical American, bubbly "How are we doing tonight" server. I want to (and have until I learned your customs) reply "I was doing fine until you started talking. Now please do your job more unobtrusively thank you very much. My conversation is with my table guests, not with you."

Good waiters and serving staff should be like wetting your pants in a dark suit, it gives you a warm feeling and no one notices.....

It'd never work in Holland, they'd get an earful about sticking to their place in the little social interaction that is a restaurant.

D.

[Bob Hancock]

When I dine out, I'm not there to develop a relationship with the help. I'm there to eat and visit with whomever I'm with. And I don't want to be interrupted by the waiter asking how the food is. I expect the waiter to be there but invisible....kinda like Carson the Butler.

[Gogar]

Pretend you don't speak English. Loads of Fun!


Maybe you could just roll with it for the hour you're in there. Do your part to quiet the death knell of our dying culture, or something.

[RWebb]

give them a fake name - be inventive and make up something you can have fun with

say "Max Didlo"

[stomachmonkey]

I think part of people's issue here is the perception of how "servants" should be treated.

Rather boorish and elitist bunch of wankers you lot are.

[dtw]

Every single fast food droid in the area says "my pleasure" now. I don't hate it. Like Randy said, someone must have written an article.

Asking my name? I'll never be back. I don't go to spend time with the help. I go to enjoy a meal with friends and family. Help should be invisible. If it is somewhere where I'm a regular, that's different. I went to my favorite sushi bar the other night, and the owner came and sat down for 10-15 minutes to chat.

Of course she's tall, Thai, and smoking hot...

[VINMAN]

Never seen that around here.

[Seahawk]

I was a waiter in college at some fairly high end establishments in the Bay Area (some were union shops). I also worked as a bartender for caterers and wedding specialists.

I saw it all.

Every table tells a story. As a waiter, it was my job to adapt: For every Cloggie there was another top that wanted to chat and be entertained endlessly.

It didn't matter to me, I was there to serve and make sure I read the customer right. I make a lot of money managing diners expectations quickly.

Waiting tables and bar tending in college was the best education possible and I went to one of the best schools in the US.

I did learn to avoid anyone who calls waiters, "help". I have left deals on the table after watching how perspective clients treat the, "help".

[RANDY P]

When you are by yourself at a bar, that's one thing. Everyone expects a friendly bartender. At a table with others, or a date then it's an intrusion.

rjp

[RWebb]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

I think part of people's issue here is the perception of how "servants" should be treated.

Rather boorish and elitist bunch of wankers you lot are.

how true

and is usually a certain type of recently entitled person who does this...

[RANDY P]

Coming from a sales background, it gets awfully tiring having to pretend to "Give a schit" about anyone you talk to. I don't expect the server to really have to put forth that sort of energy, and I don't feel like doing it either.

I like quiet and competent myself. If they want to chat for a second about something unique- like something on the TV or an observation then that's fine, but mindless, stupid chit-chat and feigned enthusiasm sucks.

rjp