Waiters asking for names at dinner, new trend?

[Bob Hancock]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

I think part of people's issue here is the perception of how "servants" should be treated.

Rather boorish and elitist bunch of wankers you lot are.

Not at all. My only point is I don't go to a restaurant to develop a relationship with anyone but the one I'm with. Waiters aren't servants in the subservient sense, they are there to make the meal enjoyable for the customer. To me this means they educate me about the food options, and bring my decision....keep the wine glass full... bring the check....collect their tip, which is what's expected on both sides. No? If some of you need feaux friendship that bad, find a companion.

[bivenator]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I was a waiter in college at some fairly high end establishments in the Bay Area (some were union shops). I also worked as a bartender for caterers and wedding specialists.

I saw it all.

Every table tells a story. As a waiter, it was my job to adapt: For every Cloggie there was another top that wanted to chat and be entertained endlessly.

It didn't matter to me, I was there to serve and make sure I read the customer right. I make a lot of money managing diners expectations quickly.

Waiting tables and bar tending in college was the best education possible and I went to one of the best schools in the US.

I did learn to avoid anyone who calls waiters, "help". I have left deals on the table after watching how perspective clients treat the, "help".

I worked in the restaurant biz in a similar trajectory as you. I learned more waiting tables and dealing with people than the psychology/sociology classes in college. It is like running a small business each nite.

[Oh Haha]

I have not experienced that but we don't visit much more than family diners.


Similar "script" story to share-
My wife had been "reminding" to call about changing something on our American Express account. Apparently, she couldn't because she isn't an authorized user.

After a few times of "reminding" me I finally made the call. Joan was the operator who I spoke with. When she asked what she could help me with I told her" my wife has been nagging me about making her an authorized user and I need to get it done now because she is going to ask again when I get home". I could hear her giggle a bit and then, right from her script as if I had said EXACTLY what she should expect, "no problem Sir, I can help you with that."

[BeyGon]

I like it when they come up and say, my name is Sasha, I will be your server this evening, but I have never had them ask my name, when you make the reservation they already have you name, if they care. besides that, never piss off the waiter/waitress/bartender before you get served, or if you want to come back. I don't see a lot of rude customers around here.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by bivenator

I learned more waiting tables and dealing with people than the psychology/sociology classes in college. It is like running a small business each nite.

That is a perfect way to express what we did. I had not thought of it that way before, but you are right. Excellent.

There is a management book in all this: The Essential Waiter or, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Waiters

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by Bob Hancock

Not at all. My only point is I don't go to a restaurant to develop a relationship with anyone but the one I'm with. Waiters aren't servants in the subservient sense, they are there to make the meal enjoyable for the customer. To me this means they educate me about the food options, and bring my decision....keep the wine glass full... bring the check....collect their tip, which is what's expected on both sides. No? If some of you need feaux friendship that bad, find a companion.

I'll bet you the bill that if you and I go to the same restaurant at the same time and get the same waiter, I'm going to get better service.

[speeder]

Wait a minute, the waiter asked for the names of the people at the table?

I worked in the service industry for years, doing every job from dishwasher to busboy to cook/waiter/bartender/Maitre' D and I hate a snob but I don't think that is a correct way to serve someone in a restaurant. I can see how most people would consider it weird and awkward, it's just not quite right unless you're in some rowdy joint and the waiter is drunk or something(?)

I recently dumped a very hot MILF I was dating because she abused a waitress at lunch. She did it once out of several meals with me but it turned me off in a way that I can't exaggerate. Strike one, you're out...

My dad worked as a busboy in a fancy restaurant when he was a teenager and later became successful, eating out a lot. He has always treated servers with extreme politeness and tipped great. Same with me, but it bugs the schit out of me when they are too intrusive or obsequies, thinking that they're adding value to the dining experience. Asking how everything is when I have a mouthful of food gets a blank look from me, that is usually the same one that walks through the dining room purposely not looking at the table when you want them for something.

I could make a living training wait staff, it's a subject dear to me since I eat out WAY too much. It's a very professional job if done well and people who do it well will be in demand.

[speeder]

Also, my coffee shop name is Saddam.

[Tobra]

Originally Posted by Zeke

Well, I guess I'm already known as a crotchety old man. I get somewhat annoyed when taking with someone on the phone regarding business, like banking or similar and an obviously much younger female insists on calling my by my first name. Older people that I feel more on par with usually address me as "Mr." Not so much in public.

But I really don't want some server coming up to the table and saying, "Hey, Milt, what're you havin' tonight."


I'm not having any of it.

That stuff is annoyingly unprofessional from sales people. They give me that and I tell them my friends call me that, you may call me sir or doctor. If I got that in a restaurant I would get up and leave.

I waited tables in coffee shops and fine dining establishments. Excellent experience that trains you to deal with the public and read people. You can tell what sort of service they want if you pay attention, unobtrusive was always my default. They never had to ask for anything, because I brought it to them already. I tip well if they are good, or at least not bad.

You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat a waiter/waitress

[speeder]

Originally Posted by Tobra

That stuff is annoyingly unprofessional from sales people. They give me that and I tell them my friends call me that, you may call me sir or doctor. If I got that in a restaurant I would get up and leave.

I waited tables in coffee shops and fine dining establishments. Excellent experience that trains you to deal with the public and read people. You can tell what sort of service they want if you pay attention, unobtrusive was always my default. They never had to ask for anything, because I brought it to them already. I tip well if they are good, or at least not bad.

You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat a waiter/waitress

Absolutely. As I said before, I will not tolerate anyone abusing a waiter or waitress but I can definitely be a man of few words with them if I'm alone and need to catch up on some work while wolfing down a meal. On the one hand, anyone who abuses them is a POS, but I also don't think that it's good service to intrude too much on customers.

Since we're on a tear here, anyone have some young dipschit call you "boss" when you're in an auto store or a lumber yard? I told one, "I'm not your boss. But if I was, I'd tell you to stop calling people 'boss'. Call them 'sir' or 'ma'am', or nothing at all. But not 'boss'. It makes you sound like a moron."

[Bob Hancock]

Originally Posted by stomachmonkey

I'll bet you the bill that if you and I go to the same restaurant at the same time and get the same waiter, I'm going to get better service.

Well isn't this special. A keyboard postulation made in the dark, followed by a wager in the light which will never be consummated, hence your post. Joisting at windmills can be fun I hear, but never profitable.

[Bob Hancock]

Originally Posted by speeder

Wait a minute, the waiter asked for the names of the people at the table?

I worked in the service industry for years, doing every job from dishwasher to busboy to cook/waiter/bartender/Maitre' D and I hate a snob but I don't think that is a correct way to serve someone in a restaurant. I can see how most people would consider it weird and awkward, it's just not quite right unless you're in some rowdy joint and the waiter is drunk or something(?)

I recently dumped a very hot MILF I was dating because she abused a waitress at lunch. She did it once out of several meals with me but it turned me off in a way that I can't exaggerate. Strike one, you're out...

My dad worked as a busboy in a fancy restaurant when he was a teenager and later became successful, eating out a lot. He has always treated servers with extreme politeness and tipped great. Same with me, but it bugs the schit out of me when they are too intrusive or obsequies, thinking that they're adding value to the dining experience. Asking how everything is when I have a mouthful of food gets a blank look from me, that is usually the same one that walks through the dining room purposely not looking at the table when you want them for something.

I could make a living training wait staff, it's a subject dear to me since I eat out WAY too much. It's a very professional job if done well and people who do it well will be in demand.

Well said. I think we're talking about manners here....common courtesy on both sides of the transaction.

[dennis in se pa]

You people are getting your knickers in a knot about things that simply do not matter.

[ossiblue]

Originally Posted by dennis in se pa

You people are getting your knickers in a knot about things that simply do not matter.

But isn't that the whole reason for PPOT?

[KevinTodd]

This sounds suspiciously like some misdirected chain's attempt at some type of PR.

Great service should be silent except for echoing the order for accuracy. Waitstaff should engage a customer in conversation only when they read that this is what the customer wants; otherwise just hit the marks and move on.

Even the bartender should limit the chit-chat unless the customer is leading the conversation.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by speeder

Absolutely. As I said before, I will not tolerate anyone abusing a waiter or waitress but I can definitely be a man of few words with them if I'm alone and need to catch up on some work while wolfing down a meal. On the one hand, anyone who abuses them is a POS, but I also don't think that it's good service to intrude too much on customers.

Since we're on a tear here, anyone have some young dipschit call you "boss" when you're in an auto store or a lumber yard? I told one, "I'm not your boss. But if I was, I'd tell you to stop calling people 'boss'. Call them 'sir' or 'ma'am', or nothing at all. But not 'boss'. It makes you sound like a moron."

It's a colloquialism. Before, guys would say, "chief, sport, slick" etc. Over in the UK they say "gov." I guess once upon a time, maybe not these days.

"Boss" has become mostly a friendly name. It has many origins from street talk about the real boss to the way a lot of casual cultures like Southerners call each other nicknames like "hoss." Same thing.

It's not used in the upper class. Do we even have upper class any more? I don't think it should be used in a service setting.

Denis, I'm sure you wouldn't care for it if someone called you hoss. It's something you have to understand. My FIL when I first got to know him called me Hoss. The only Hoss I knew was Hoss Cartwright on Bonanza.

When I got to his home turf, rural AL, I heard it all.

And it all can slip towards being snide very easily. Not very often when someone calls you "pal" are they being friendly. Someone calls you pal these days, they are taking you on. I'm sure a couple of countries away, that's not the case.

[Geronimo '74]

No unsincere friendliness needed, thank you.
Bring me my food, fill my drink and keep your professional distance, please.
I'll be sure to tip you generously if you do.

[Cloggie]

Originally Posted by Geronimo '74

No unsincere friendliness needed, thank you.
Bring me my food, fill my drink and keep your professional distance, please.
I'll be sure to tip you generously if you do.

Exactly. No need for rudeness or treating the waiter with anything less than professional respect, but that is not the same as friendship.

Here in the land of tulips and rude people, we typically use the word colleague to describe people we work with in any professional setting....they are not friends. We do not invite them to our houses for dinner, neither do we inquire as to the details of their personal lives.

Friends are people who we see to, well, be friendly with. We care about them, we put up with more crap and offer more of ourselves to them. We have them over for supper and parties.

The two should not be confused with each other, which is the way I see it happening in North America, as it devalues both types of relationships.

Doesn't mean you can't be friendly and conversational at work, it is just that it is a different type of relationship.

D.

[speeder]

Originally Posted by dennis in se pa

You people are getting your knickers in a knot about things that simply do not matter.

My balls are still swinging free but I don't need some phony BS familiarity from a waiter.

[genrex]

Not to change the subject, but I am constantly impressed with the English grammar and spelling and humor of the Continental members of this forum. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way. Would it be reasonable to conclude that their English educational requirements are particularly rigorous?

_