The Most Educated Pelican

[M.D. Holloway]

AA Liberal Arts
BA Philosophy
BS Chemistry
MS Engineering
PhD Cand. Material Science
OMA Cert'd
CLS Cert'd
Author'd blah blah blah

[DARISC]

My ex-neighbor's ex-wife was a bisexual psychologist who had a patient employed by a food processing plant. The man was seeing her because he had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer.

She tried to treat him, then he stopped coming to see her. She tracked him down and learned that he'd succumbed to his urge and was fired.

This woman, who had her Phd. and a successful practice, left her husband and entered into a same sex marriage to the pickle slicer, who was also fired and didn't even have a high school diploma.

Go figure.

[creaturecat]

Me?
B Comm. honours program.
U of M
1981

[2porscheguy]

Originally Posted by Moses

He fell into the lens grinding machine. Made a spectacle of himself.

Gawd, Moses!...how many times have I heard that one!

[NeedSpace]

Originally Posted by DARISC

The man was seeing her because he had an urge to stick his penis in the pickle slicer.

Here's another guy like that. This journal below used to have a section dedicated to odd stories, this was one of the best.

About.com: http://www-psych.stanford.edu/~pinto/scrot.html

SCROTUM SELF-REPAIR
by William A. Morton, Jr. MD
taken from: Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality July 1991

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse.
She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than
to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient,
about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say
as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and
black-and-blue scrotal skin.
After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove
his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze
wrapped about his scrotumm which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit
and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood,
extended down the left scrotum.
Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some
half buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several
days earlier, he replied, he had injured humself in the machine shop where he
worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun.
The dark objects were one-inch staples of the type used in putting up
wallboard.
We x-rayed the patient's scrotum to locate the staples, admitted him to
the hospital, and gave him tetanus antitoxin, broad-spectrum antibacterial
therapy, and hexachlorine sitz baths prior to surgery the next morning. The
procedure consisted of exploration and debridement of the left side of the
scrotal pouch. Eight rusty staples were retrieved, and the skin edges were
trimmed and freshened. The left testis had been avulsed and was missing. The
stump of the spermatic cord was recovered at the inguinal canal, debrided, and
the vessels ligated properly, though not much of a hematoma was present.
Through-and-through Penrose drains were sutured loosely in site, and the skin
was loosely closed.
Convalescence was uneventful, and before his release from the hospital
less than a week later, the patient confided the rest of his story to me. An
unmarried loner, he usually didn't leave the machine shop at lunchtime with his
co-workers. Finding himself alone, he had begun the regular practice of
masturbating by holding his penis against the canvas drive belt of a large
floor-based peice of running machinery. One day, as he approached orgasm, he
lost his concentration and leaned too close to the belt. When his scrotum
suddenly became caught between the pulley-wheel and the drive belt, he was
thrown into the air and landed a few feet away. Unaware that he had lost his
left testis, and perhaps too stunned to feel much pain, he stapled the wound
closed and resumed work. I can only assume he abandoned this method of
self-gratification.

[Tobra]

Scrotum self repair, really? Hopefully it never comes up, but I have all the stuff to do it, just in case. I did not read through all that, and frankly am happy you can't smell it.

Originally Posted by johnsjmc

Sammy You are an educated man. Why do all your posts have invented spellings? It makes them harder to read and easier to just dismiss your opinions.

I believe he is attempting a dialect, some sort of hillbilliesque, backwoodsian thing.

Poopyhead, that is a term of endearment; NFS, I kid you negative. Akin to referring to an old friend as a son of a *****, (that last bit rhymes with itch may not make it past the filter). There really ought to be a compendium of Pelicanisms, from A to Z man.


That said, I don't think they have a separate Cal Tech for the poopyheads. They are all together with the other students like everywhere else

[porsche4life]

Hour of Code - Virgin.com!

Interesting article and short vid along the lines of discussion. Mentions that you can learn more in an hour hands on, than 10 hours in the classroom.

[1990C4S]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

AA Liberal Arts
BA Philosophy
BS Chemistry
MS Engineering
PhD Cand. Material Science
OMA Cert'd
CLS Cert'd
Author'd blah blah blah

Sounds like the sort of guy that could afford a 996TT.

[BK911]

I dropped out of HS beginning of 11th grade.
What do I win?
Oops, wrong thread...

[Schumi]

Originally Posted by 1990c4s

sounds like the sort of guy that could afford a 996tt.

qotd

[gacook]

I have a BS in IT Management. Didn't get the degree until about 3 years ago; have been working in the field since I was 18 (36 now). Only reason I got a degree is because I need the "paper" to progress further in my career. I literally learned nothing in college that I didn't already know (within my field, that is; I learned some artsy stuff and history stuff from the other obligatory courses that aren't IT-related).

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by Tobra

That said, I don't think they have a separate Cal Tech for the poopyheads. They are all together with the other students like everywhere else

The main divide is undergrads (who live in the houses on campus) and grad students (who live in dorms or apartments of off-campus), though there is little stratification. Often everyone is on a first-name basis, be they student at any level, faculty, staff, or administration. Everyone is treated as a peer.

This film is based on the undergrad houses and has some elements of truth. I have some stories of Interhouse parties (no longer sanctioned), ditch day, and other festivities that are pretty funny. There is no other place in the world quite like it. I probably wouldn't want my son to go there as an undergrad (it is intense), but anything beyond that - magic.

Real Genius - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[sammyg2]

I remember about 30 years ago when cal tech beat MIT in the rose bowl .....

[JavaBrewer]

I worked with a guy who had a PhD in mathematics. He did lots of 3D mapping code for us back in the day. He also managed to create a seriously long traffic delay by locking himself out of his still running car during rush hour on the I-5.

[recycled sixtie]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

AA Liberal Arts
BA Philosophy
BS Chemistry
MS Engineering
PhD Cand. Material Science
OMA Cert'd
CLS Cert'd
Author'd blah blah blah

This is seriously worrying. Did you ever have a life outside of the classroom when you were younger? Perhaps you did not have to study that hard.......

[sammyg2]

And lastly, a little Caltech humor:

[John Rogers]

I wasn't going to list mine but my daughter talked me into it after seeing the post and telling me how old I was, she bet me I couldn't remember it all?!

Draftsman technical school and high school, 1963
US Navy MM school, 1964
US Navy Nuclear Power school, 1965
US Navy welding school, 1970
US Navy AC&R school 1972
US Navy Advanced Instructor Training school, 1979
Defense Contract Administration mechanical and electrical contract admin, 1985
BSCS, 1988
MSSE, 1989
CA State teaching credential, 1989
PhD AI 1993
Oracle Database Administrator series, 1999
SCCA and PCA certified instructor, 1999
Retired (except for evening college classes), 2009

[Mo_Gearhead]

Well John, you may not be the most educated, but anyone who was on the Internet in 1969 is light years ahead of the rest of us.

"Join Date: Dec 1969"