question for the Pelican brain trust...

[David McLaughlin]

Before I go and blow this up, what's your opinion?

My 16yo son was given a team to work with for his Spanish class. They were to work together over the weekend and make a fruit salad for a cultural breakfast on Monday. He bought a couple of watermellons and some berries.

His female classmate texted him asking what he wad adding to the salad Friday evening. Being with his group of male friends and coaxted by one, he wrote "two big juicy mellons". She asked "what?" His reply..."BOOBS".

The text thread went on to include that she forwarded it to the teacher, he appologized, she forgave him saing she wasn't mad.

Monday comes. The boy is brought down to the school office and threated with suspension. Told if he is suspended, he'll never get into college and never get a good job. He must do two days of community service so none of it will go on his record. He must never talk to or even look at the girl again or he will be suspended... they have Spanish and Gym classes together.

IMO, this should be my place to punish him, not the schools (he's been grounded). They asked him to come to the office to discuss further today.

[oldE]

Once his classmate passed on the text to school authorities (and I'm guessing she was upset at the time) it was out of your hands. A little maturity on his part and there would have been no issue.
Best answer I can think of is: do not allow a teenager who is easily pressured by his peers digital communication with a member of the opposite sex.
He did a dumb arsed thing, it's time to own up.

And no, he is not the only teenager I can think of who has done something very dumb and embarrassing to someone.
Les

[recycled sixtie]

He must do the community service the school asked him to do. I would not ground him. He is already paying for his misdeeds. I am sure he knows that he has done wrong and doubtless he will learn from it. Then move on!
G.

[Neilk]

Wow, sucks to be a kid today in some respects. You can't joke about melons or sausage?

The punishment seems harsh, are you sure that is all he wrote? Is there some past history between the two?

[Seahawk]

Is the school being a wee bit over dramatic, yes.

Did your son do something stupid, yes.

Should he suck it up and do the community service, emphatically yes. I'd still be doing community service if I had a smart phone in high school.

Don't send the text if you thing they'll get vexed

[1990C4S]

Originally Posted by David McLaughlin

Told if he is suspended, he'll never get into college and never get a good job.

So they blackmail/threaten him and that's okay? Eff them.

He said 'boobs' for God's sake.

[ramonesfreak]

A 16 year old is grounded and threatened with suspension for sayings boobs? Holy **** what a pathetic world this has become. I would tell the school to go F off

[ramonesfreak]

Community service for saying boobs? I cant even believe this conversation is happening

[Tobra]

Did he do it at school?

Then the school is not behaving in an appropriate fashion, this is ridiculous.

[Seahawk]

Of course it is stupid and ridiculous. That is not the point. Educational bureaucrats are the most difficult of the PC crowd because, and I guarantee it, somewhere in the school handbook is a line about inappropriate texting...and no doubt the parents of the girl will demand something be done.

I bet they think that community service for the young man is letting him off light.

It is the world we live in.

Pick your fights. This isn't one of them.

Originally Posted by ramonesfreak

A 16 year old is grounded and threatened with suspension for sayings boobs? Holy **** what a pathetic world this has become. I would tell the school to go F off

Originally Posted by ramonesfreak

Community service for saying boobs? I cant even believe this conversation is happening

Originally Posted by Tobra

Did he do it at school?

Then the school is not behaving in an appropriate fashion, this is ridiculous.

[sammyg2]

First, chew him out bigtime, I'm betting you already did that.

Next, you have two choices:
comply with the public school nazis and go along with anything they can possibly dream up no matter how ridiculous and irrational ....
or check out the local private schools.

See lots of public school officials don't have a very good power/brains ratio. Too much power, not enough brains.
The power is too much for them to handle because they really don't have to answer to anyone except the school board, which is made up of even bigger idiots. So they can get away with almost anything they can dream up.

Private school officials have to answer to the parents AND the private school board, so they tend to act like real people.
But they can be expensive. If he's 16 you'd only have to pay for a couple years, he'd get a better edumacation, and chances are it'd help him get into a better university.
Something to consider.

[HHI944]

suspension keep you from getting in college? Really? I got suspended half a dozen times, mostly for stupid crap like your son did or attendance....even went to an 'alternative' school for a semester....didn't keep me out of college or cause even a minor hiccup on a security clearance investigation...

[asphaltgambler]

I can chime in here from experience. The reason the public schools today may seem like they have Nazi-like rules and enforcement is because today's parents do not. Public schools have become less of an environment of learning and achievement but more babysitting / discipline. A large portion of school age kids today lack a complete parental unit with the structure needed so the public school system reacts accordingly.

I'm in my mid fifties and can tell you if I grew up in todays school system with all the social media around.............I'm not sure I would not have been in jail by the time I was 17. It's not that I (or my friends) were full blown juvenile delinquents we still had to answer for our actions to our parents but we were not micro-managed either by 'big brother'.

Kids in today's society have so many more challenges, opportunities, and instant repercussions for 'mis-deeds' that they need to have a much higher level of awareness.
Since this is obviously now in the hands of the school system, just try to make the experience a good opportunity to learn and grow.

[71scgc]

I have no qualms with telling a public school to get effed.
My daughter was thrown out of public school for a year for Midol and extra strength Tylenol.
No tolerance policies=no brain policies.
Carter

[Hads930]

If it happened in the evening, why is the school involved? These are two kids texting about a class and your son said boobs, not her boobs but just in general.

How old is the young lady, unless she is a minor and he is an adult and there could be some legal issues outside of school issues I would tell the administration to blow me.

[1990C4S]

Originally Posted by Hads930

If it happened in the evening, why is the school involved?

If it was a text related to a school project then the school has jurisdiction. Just as if they were meeting in person for a school project. I am sure the school has a code of conduct rule that applies to all school related activities.

Any argument with the school should be related to the innocuous nature of the comment and the schools jackboot reply.

A warning from the school and smack across the back of the head for the son should be enough. Oh, and say 'don't be an idiot'.

It's not like pop culture doesn't encourage kids to act like this...

[flipper35]

I was suspended for an argument that turned into an "altercation" during study hall. I still received recruitment letters from some of the east coast colleges.

[JavaBrewer]

Folks need to learn what is appropriate when using text/email/posts as a communication medium. I assume that every text/email I generate could be shared with the 'wrong' person(s) at anytime.

At least your son has good taste!

[onewhippedpuppy]

Originally Posted by 71scgc

I have no qualms with telling a public school to get effed.
My daughter was thrown out of public school for a year for Midol and extra strength Tylenol.
No tolerance policies=no brain policies.
Carter

A good friend of mine is the principal of a large high school. He is against no tolerance policies for exactly this reason, in his opinion it is due to the inability/unwillingness to apply discretion to each situation, as well as the perpetual fear of the almighty lawsuit. He is also convinced that his pragmatic attitude will eventually get him fired.

I agree with many of the other posters. Tell the boy that he's a moron, make him do his time. Good lessons learned - digital communication is forever, and always know your audience.

[gacook]

We used to write "boobs" using digits on our calculators...amazingly, nobody died!

If you couldn't tell, I think this is a non-issue and the school is vastly overreacting.