Funny Amazon review

[scottbombedout]

Brilliant Amazon review. Actually made me laugh out loud at the end. Amazon.co.uk: A. Chappell's review of Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml

[oldE]

Funny? No. That is hilarious!

Here it is. Brace yourself!
"After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned .
Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn't managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the drawer for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon.I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so.I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my arse. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found it's way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running it's engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my arse while muttering..." Ooooh that feels good ". Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn't heard her come in it caused an involutary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout farted against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn't the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn't improve my status...So to sum it up Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect..."

Now my sides hurt.

Best
Les

[rwest]

Dang, that was funny.

Must be a large group of people who pride themselves on writing hilarious reviews, check out the reviews of sugar free gummy bears- over a hundred reviews, most of them side splitting.

Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb: Amazon.com: Grocery & Gourmet Food

[scottbombedout]

Originally Posted by rwest

Dang, that was funny.

Must be a large group of people who pride themselves on writing hilarious reviews, check out the reviews of sugar free gummy bears- over a hundred reviews, most of them side splitting.

Haribo SUGAR FREE Classic Gummi Bears, 1 Lb: Amazon.com: Grocery & Gourmet Food

Now they were funny. Who are these people who go to the trouble of writing up these reviews?

Why do I feel the need to eat sugar free gummy bears now?

[sand_man]

SHEEESH...a viral Amazon review!

Veet, the Fluffer's choice, the world over...

[Nickshu]

Originally Posted by oldE

This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain.

OMFG now that's funny!

[Steve Carlton]

I'm thinking that's made up.

[HardDrive]

Damn funny.

[ledhedsymbols]

Another classic... I bought one of these for a coworker last

Amazon.com: The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee: Clothing

[WolfeMacleod]

Ever read the review for the Harry Potter vibrating broomstick from several year ago?

I think Mattel took it off the market... can't find it on Amazon any more... but here's a few saved at Fark.com

===
When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too!

===

So much fun for my daughters that I had to buy one for the wife too!
By C. Matt on January 8, 2012
Color Name: As ShownSize Name: One Size

So I bought one for my daughter at xmas and all I ever hear is moans and squeals of delight coming from her room. She's had all her friends from high school over and they just play with that broom for hours, which is great for me as a parent because I don't have to worry about them going out with boys and the boys trying to get them drunk etc, you know like I did to my wife when we were in high school. I never knew my girl was into Harry Potter but we've gone through so many batteries that we switched to rechargeables. All the girls do is ride around the house on their brooms and up in the attic all day, it's great! No fast food lunches or movie tickets to buy etc. My wife went up in the attic once to see what was going on and then she wanted one too! Well I got her one and when she's home she's riding it all the time - I think it looks a bit silly, and I once caught her riding around on one with the mail-woman when I came home early from work. No wonder the Postal Service is going broke.

I tried it, but I felt stoopid riding around on a broom and didn't see what was so fun. Apparently there's a new model coming out which she wants to buy called a Sybian, but I've read all the Potter books and I can't find a reference to that model.


===