Tough decision made-keeping my son back a grade

[Oh Haha]

My son struggled with 4th grade last year and his grades were horrible Even though he gets extra help in school it just didn't help.


With school coming up soon we needed to make a decision. We did.

We met with the special ed administrator this week and she agreed that it would be better to do 4th over. She did tell us that his grades were not bad enough to hold him back automatically, though.


This was one of the toughest decisions my wife and I have to make with one of our kids. We told him tonight and although he says he understands I can see his mind going 1000 milesaminute.


Thanks for letting me get that out.

[Nickshu]

Good for you for making the right decision. My wife is a teacher and it's rare that parents will agree to hold back their child despite the recommendation of everyone at the school/research on development and learning.

-Sent from my Galaxy s5 using Tapatalk

[billybek]

Tough call but you should be pretty confident that you made the right one. Make sure that he gets a different teacher and see if there is one that will work with him and you.'

Would a different school be possible?

Hope round two brings better results.

[onlycafe]

back in '65 i had to do the eighth grade over again because of stupid algebra.
today my eighth grade math teacher is dead and i'm alive.
did anybody win here?

oh yeah, me.

[HardDrive]

A tough, but good choice.

[jyl]

We had my son repeat 1st grade. It was easier because he moved to a new school, new city. It was the right decision, he caught up, now is nearly a straight A student and is a bit older and taller for his grade. However, he struggled for years with the fear that he was stupid, it took until middle school before he got fully over that. Your son will have that stigma and self-doubt, especially if he is staying at the same school and watching his friends move on to 5th. It is a tough decision.

[campbellcj]

We had our son repeat kindergarten. These days, at least here, kindergarten entails reading, writing and arithmetic as well as the usual socialization and he simply wasn't ready. So he did a very small focused K class at the pre-school he attended, and then the next year he moved to the big public school and has excelled ever since (now entering 7th grade as a straight-A student).

It's a tough call but your son will most likely have a better outcome from doing this. If for some reason the year starts and it seems like he is indeed ready to bump up, I bet the school could make a quick change.

[onewhippedpuppy]

Gotta do what's best for them. We will likely hold our youngest back, he's young for his grade and not particularly mature.

[Baz]

Good job Wayne - tough love is just that.

Your primary job is parent.

Secondary is friend.

Most of the time you can be both, although the perception may not always reflect that.

I love that my parents were strict with us in matters of education but never realized how much they loved and cared for us until I got much older.

Thanks for sharing....take care.

[aigel]

If you can tell it may come earlier than later it is better to do it now than during puberty. He will mature and catch up and being a bit bigger than the rest of them never hurts when you are a boy...

G

[rattlsnak]

We held my son back in 3 grade. Best thing we ever did.

[nostatic]

Originally Posted by campbellcj

We had our son repeat kindergarten.

we did the same. We moved so it was logistically easier for him to handle, but certainly worth it. Kids don't all mature at the same rate, and adjustments sometimes are necessary.

[Oh Haha]

Just when we thought we were alone in this.......



Thanks for sharing your personal experiences. My parents did not enforce education with us. I wish they had, though.


My son doesn't have many friends at school(so he tells us anyway) but his little sister will now be 1 grade behind him. Oh, the horror!!

We are lucky in that we have a small school district so the teachers he has had already know him. We have worked with his teachers and the school principals each year. We are known as the engaged parents.


I wish my dad was still around so I could talk to him about my boy.

[Nickshu]

Originally Posted by campbellcj

We had our son repeat kindergarten.

What my wife sees as a teacher is that many of the kids in this situation should have been held back in Kindergarten, but were passed on, and on. Personally I struggled in the 4th grade and probably should have been held back. I really continued to struggle thru about 10th grade when I finally seemed to catch up. Would have been easier to have stayed back.

[atcjorg]

I would now capitalize by finding what his worst major subject is (probably math), and get him a tutor a couple times a week to make sure he "gets it" cold, once you get behind in math your forever struggling to catch up.

[mikester]

We decided to hold our youngest back for another year of kindergarten. It was tough, he's smart enough but doesn't have the maturity yet. He really wanted to be a tiger scout soooooo bad...

[Moses]

We tease my son because he "flunked" kindergarten. It wasn't funny at the time. Really tough decision. I had many sleepless nights over his academic challenges. It was the right call. He's a college graduate with a great job.

Sounds like your kid has great parents and he'll do well.

[rusnak]

My two nephews had to repeat 4th grade. They were barely literate. I worked with them every single day on homework until they finished 6th grade I think support from family made the difference. They're college bound next year.

[jwhcars]

I would also request that he have an IEP. One on one time can't be beat.
The thing that you have no control over is their maturity rate.
You made a wise decision , good parenting .

[JavaBrewer]

Very common with boys. Looking back we should have held our son in first grade. He's holding his own now but at tremendous effort all those years.