Military Vets...I would like your opinion on something that happened...

[dw1]

I don't get the guy's attitude. Maybe it was drink, or maybe it was having a second-hand story told to him by a non-vet.

But a "dad story"? I've never heard anyone object to those, unless it was told in a way that made it sound like the teller was trying to get some of the reflected glory.

I was enlisted, dad was an USN officer - he had his stories, I had mine. But being older, his were always a lot more interesting - partially from being "greatest generation" and partially from storytelling practice!

-dw
former USN STG3

[MRM]

What SamC says is correct. The guy was almost certainly a poser. In the Marines everyone's primary specialty is Rifleman. Their secondary duty may be something else, but even their lawyers and doctors are riflemen first. Another tipoff is the supposed expertise in marksmanship. You don't go from sailing a desk to being a marksmanship instructor. That's just the sort of thing posers say to impress people. And no real vet would object to a son telling his father's combat story. And a real finance position would require him to be an officer. And if you've ever met a retired Marine officer you know you don't have to ask him what he did for a living, it's demonstrated by how he carried himself. Which is usually not in bars where he name drops and uses almost but not quite proper jargon.

He was a poser who knew enough jargon to pass a superficial inspection and has the skills if a sociopath to know how to manipulate you into being defensive when you start getting close to his comfort zone.

[Reiver]

Blow that off...it was a stupid comment by some kid.
Your families history is your history to tell as you see fit.
I appreciate your Dad's service and the circumstances he fought in.

All Infantrymen in WW2 were awarded a Bronze star for meritorious service...that decision by the powers that be was because the predominance of KIA's for the US were simply Infantrymen.
They bore the brunt of sacrifice and the worst conditions of any military occupational skill (mos) of any service member.

Your Dad had it 'tough' in the vernacular....he ate cold K rations, was wet when it rained and froze his ass off when it was cold. He slept in a damp hole in the ground and was afraid at times to even get out of that hole....it often filled with water but it was home.

He also loved it in a way...he loved the other guys that shared that with him and that's why he did what he did.

There are no 'pretenders' in that environment, no facades, and I'll bet he came to love those around him.

You tell that story when ever you feel like it.

The BAR, btw, is a fine weapon. Heavy as hell, but I doubt he noticed that part in a fire fight.

[MRM]

The BAR, btw, is a fine weapon. Heavy as hell, but I doubt he noticed that part in a fire fight.

David Hackworth wrote in his memoir that the BAR was the finest weapon of the Korean War, almost ten years after WWII ended. He said that a skilled gunner could cut grass with it. In WWII carrying one of those must have been like handling a nuke. My dad served on the late 50s and spoke of the BAR with awe.

[dw1]

Originally Posted by MRM

He was a poser who knew enough jargon to pass a superficial inspection and has the skills if a sociopath to know how to manipulate you into being defensive when you start getting close to his comfort zone.

Well said, and I certainly agree that is the most likely.

[Bob Kontak]

Originally Posted by T77911S

you did not take credit for what your dad did. the guy has some ego issues perhaps. ignore him and forget.

if we dont remember and tell the stories of our parents that faught then it will all be forgotten. that should not be the case.
my dad was in korea. i have some pics but he never really said a lot about it.

+1

Ego issue and the booze coupled with some previous conversation (he observed) where someone face planted another for being a braggadocio.

My Dad was in Korea as well. Little island off the mainland where he listened to Chinese "broadcasts" and translated, looking for tidbits of info. No bullet dodging but still proud he served.

Carry on.

[drew1]

Keep telling it. Make sure your family knows. Ours has a story about an ancestor, Daniel MacAulay, who met his brother he had not seen since leaving ireland at the Battle of Kings Mountain. He heard "Daniel is that you?"

[theFONZ]

I say poser as well. No combat vets I know would say things like that. Only a kid or an idiot would ask a stranger if his dad killed people. And what Marine asks about a CIB?

Eta: you should always be wary of what people say they do while in a hotel bar. At least I am, because that's where I spew the best BS. My last story was my dad invented the Big Mac sauce, and now McDs employs me as their traveling quality assurance person.

[fred cook]

Originally Posted by M.D. Holloway

I said I would have imagined so, he earned the Bronze Star and was hurt badly during the Battle of the Bulge when a motor blew up in his fox hole.

...

Great story, one to be proud of! However, I think you meant to say "Mortar" rather than "Motor". Thanks for sharing with us!

[crustychief]

Carry on Mike.
The guy has issues, probably envious of the attention the guys wearing the Combat Action Ribbon get. He is probably enjoying the benefits of misrepresentation without the inconvenience of the nightmares.

[BE911SC]

That marine is probably tired of people thanking him for his service. In our all-volunteer services there isn't a draft anymore so the people who go in do so by choice and often necessity when the job market stinks. I went in for the training and career skills. (It truly is a great place to start, as the old TV ads once said.)

Your not having served doesn't bother those who do. It's the story-telling of someone else's service, your dad's in WWII in this case, that probably rubbed him the wrong way. He and your dad are brothers in a sense and you are an outsider. Not meant to be insulting, you just don't know the real day to day thing that people in uniform do. Call it tribal. You're not one of us.

When I see troops in the airport catching a flight (in uniform with their gear) I never say thanks for your service, I say "Where are you off to this time, somewhere hot and sandy?" They always chuckle at that because it tells them that I know they're off to yet another s h i t hole for a long time, away from their families and very likely in harm's way.

Your telling of your dad's story is okay but just be ready for some guys, some of the time, to maybe see you as kind of a poseur, having never worn the uniform.

My explanation probably loses something in print like this. If we were discussing this over a beer you'd probably get the gist of it right away and it would make sense.

[BE911SC]

Oh, and don't joke about soldiers with PTSD. It's real. It used to be called shell shock and combat fatigue. If you've never been in the "s h i t" getting shot at and in danger of dying then don't minimize or dismiss guys who have been there and have been overcome by the experience. Some aren't bothered by combat, some are. If you didn't go then don't pass judgment on the guys who did.

Many of those guys who came home from WWII, Korea, Vietnam and the recent Iraq and Afghan wars were blown-off by society because of all the s h i t they'd seen and done in combat. They know no one at home really cares so they bottle it up and try to move forward. Many of them can't.

Unless you've been there and done that just keep your ideas about combat fatigue and what it does to people to yourself.

[sand_man]

^^^I think this is a valid explanation (both posts).

[Nostril Cheese]

Originally Posted by BE911SC

That marine is probably tired of people thanking him for his service. In our all-volunteer services there isn't a draft anymore so the people who go in do so by choice and often necessity when the job market stinks. I went in for the training and career skills. (It truly is a great place to start, as the old TV ads once said.)

Honest question, but would you consider it rude If a civilian were to buy a soldier lunch? I've done this few times, all were appreciative. I can understand how someone would get tired of the thanks.

It seems to be a fine line with Marines. I've had friends join the Corps and come home different people.

[Nostril Cheese]

Originally Posted by BE911SC

Oh, and don't joke about soldiers with PTSD. It's real. .

My guitarist was a combat medic in Iraq. He has PTSD and its been very tough for him.

[speeder]

That's sort of what you get for chatting up random weirdos in hotel bars. I think the fact that he was (maybe) a military veteran is almost irrelevant, or secondary at best. There are lots of strange folks out there, maybe set up some slight boundaries? Just a suggestion.

[winders]

BE911SC's posts and attitude reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character's attitude in "A Few Good Men".

I have never served in the military but many in my family did and do. None of them displayed the elitist attitude I see here.

[notfarnow]

Originally Posted by winders

BE911SC's posts and attitude reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character's attitude in "A Few Good Men".

I have never served in the military but many in my family did and do. None of them displayed the elitist attitude I see here.

I don't think it was elitist at all, I found it insightful.

A year or so ago I was at a party where one of the guys was an Afghanistan vet. Everyone treated him with respect and kindness, but there was one guy who felt the need to relate a bunch of war stories from some family member. I'm sure the guy was just trying to be friendly, but I could see that it was a bit more than annoying to the vet, who tried a couple times to change the subject.

Not saying that's what was going on with Mike, but I could see how in some circumstances, someone trying to relate through SOMEONE ELSE'S experiences could be trying.

Either way, I'd never judge an interaction like that unless I was there and really understood both perspectives. Heck, I told a guy to go f### himself last week, for having offered me a beer. I'm sure I looked like a prick to some people there, but there was a lot more to the story, as there often is.

[sand_man]

And along with BE911SC's post, I also think alcohol played a part in the guy's reaction, as others have pointed out.

[BE911SC]

Originally Posted by winders

BE911SC's posts and attitude reminds me of Jack Nicholson's character's attitude in "A Few Good Men".

I have never served in the military but many in my family did and do. None of them displayed the elitist attitude I see here.

As I said, my explanation may not come across the way I intend for it to in 'print' here on the forum. If we were having a beer and discussing this, or anything else, you'd probably understand what I'm saying. I also said some guys (in uniform) do care and some guys do not care about someone's story telling. I also said some guys can handle combat and some cannot handle it. I think it sounds elitist to you because serving in the military means you may have to give your life and no one knows that better than a soldier, sailor or airman. That's the difference between those who have served and those who didn't. If it sounds elitist then you are certainly entitled to interpret it that way.


FWIW, the Nicholson character was a total a s s hole and got what was coming to him. I assume we agree on that.