Sex and marriage?

scottmandue · 03-18-2015, 06:39 AM

Another in the PPOT marriage series:

Two questions,
1. How often would you think it is normal for a healthy married couple in their 50's to have sex? Once a week? Once a month? Every other day?

2. If your wife suddenly lost all interest in sex how long would you stay in the marriage?

Apologies to the young bucks out there, yes... I'm sorry but people over 50 do have sex.

I also question my sanity for asking such a question here however as we all know there probably isn't anywhere else on the internet where you can address such a diverse group of people.

Ciao!

widebody911 · widebody911's Garage

... it's an institute you can't disparage!

Mark Henry · 06:52 AM

Once a week is a minimum, but I'm usually after it every day.

After 50 don't be too shy to go get some lube.
Gals are often too embarrassed so likely you will have to do the deed.

If she is totally off her feed she needs to at least talk to her doctor.

Hugh R · 12:55 PM

I'm 61, she is 59, 1x-3x/week at best. Mostly on Saturday and Sunday afternoons. Its tough to prioritize when one or both of us are getting home late and we have to do dinner, laundry, etc. But its still very good. Married 31 years.

Jeff Higgins · 03-18-2015, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Another in the PPOT marriage series:

Two questions,
1. How often would you think it is normal for a healthy married couple in their 50's to have sex? Once a week? Once a month? Every other day?

With each other?

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

2. If your wife suddenly lost all interest in sex how long would you stay in the marriage?

I just try not to wake her up, and make sure I pull the covers up when I'm done.

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

Apologies to the young bucks out there, yes... I'm sorry but people over 50 do have sex.

My two mid-20's sons are totally repulsed at the very thought of this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I also question my sanity for asking such a question here however as we all know there probably isn't anywhere else on the internet where you can address such a diverse group of people.

Ciao!

Actually, in all seriousness, after having been together for going on 30 years, things have never been more relaxed or enjoyable between us. I'm with the other old farts on here - once, maybe twice a week. The really wonderful thing is we have reached equilibrium with one another. I'm no longer chasing the poor girl around the house every day, with my tongue hanging out...

scottmandue · 03-18-2015, 07:08 AM

Jeff, you are killing me!

Glad to see we can have a sense of humor with this...

I married late in life so this whole co-habituating thing is new to me.

We had a big hairy fight three weeks ago... she is warming up to me but in the bedroom not so much.

Also not sure how to breach the subject... leaves me open to all those "that is all you want" and "you re pressuring me" type of come backs.

ckelly78z · 03-18-2015, 07:09 AM

Between my health ailments and her having Fibromyalgia, we don't get it done like we used to. Maybe once a month, but we are both OK with that after 27 years of happy marriage. Camping season is coming and that helps the situation.

Outback Porsche · 07:11 AM

This ^^^ (post #5)

My balls ache

Mark Henry · 03-18-2015, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Higgins

I'm no longer chasing the poor girl around the house every day, with my tongue hanging out...

I am

29 years together, 27 years married, 15 and 13 year old kids...still horny

Keeps me young at heart.

Bugsinrugs · 03-18-2015, 07:21 AM

I am turning 63 next month and my urges are not what they used to be. That being said I get it at least once a week but twice is more like it. We have been married thirty five years and our kids are long gone.

Seahawk · 03-18-2015, 07:40 AM

Once or twice a week, depending: 30 seconds of the best sex in her life...

I am not a proponent of heading off to therapy after every bump in the marital road, but I bet you guys will figure this one out a bit more elegantly with a third party helping out.

Good luck: Geezer love rules.

jhynesrockmtn · 03-18-2015, 07:59 AM

Ha, I think this is a great question. I spent 20 years married at a young age almost never getting any :-) Since the divorce, let's just say my world has changed.

Currently into month 7 of co habitating with a wonderful woman. She's 58, I'm almost 52. We'll be married by this time next year although the subject of the license and marriage is another topic. Committed, monogomous relationship is where we're at now, fully intending that this is it for the both of us.

4 times per week is probably average. That is down a bit from the first few months. We talk openly about the importance of intimacy in the relationship and not just intercourse. When the deed is not part of it, we're still snuggled up in bed.

Look at any reasonably intelligent guide to a healthy relationship and intimacy is a big part. Human touch is important. Along with humor, good communication, respect, trust, building the other person up, honesty......

Best of luck!

SiberianDVM · SiberianDVM's Garage

A lot of it depends on how darn tired you are. I'm 62 and GF is 60. We both work full time, over 50 hours a week, and have 40-50 mile commutes daily. On the weekends, which is the only time we see each other, we need to catch up on some rest. Sunday morning is usually the first time that we have enough energy.

4x a week? Not lately.

Crowbob · 03-18-2015, 08:12 AM

Waitaminit!

Sex AND marriage? I was informed that this was unpossible.

Might have to rethink remarriage.

Norm K · 03-18-2015, 08:26 AM

An ongoing issue in many relationships, to be sure. Unfortunately, women (my wife, anyway) appear to lose interest earlier in life than men do. Fortunately, men (myself, anyway) no longer need to have a go five to six times a week. We seem to have reached something of an equilibrium in our marriage: One to two times a week is pretty much our standard - sometimes it's zero, sometimes its three. And it appears she can store her "Big Os", as we ultimately have about the same number on a monthly basis, but hers tend to come in sets of three or four at a time, while she's obviously just seeing to my needs at other times.

Crowbob · 03-18-2015, 08:44 AM

Prostitute: 'Faster, faster!'

Girlfriend: 'Slower, slower!'

Wife: 'Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.'

targa911S · 03-18-2015, 09:29 AM

my wife is sickly....almost lost her last year. She's 66 I'm 64. Zero contact for the last three years due to her condition(s). Difficult at first but I'm pretty used to it now. At times I grumble but it is what it is. We have been together 35 years. You don't get to reshuffle the deck if you don't like the cards you got. She is still my best friend and confidant. There is a lot more to a good relationship than sex. It helps that I'm my own best friend once in a while. ( TMI I know )

Oh Haha · 03-18-2015, 09:34 AM

Intimacy is an important part of a relationship as a married couple. As such, I try to remind my wife of this as often as possible. You know, so she doesn't forget.

I'm 48 and my wife will be 40 this year. I think a couple times a week would be considered "normal". Our kids are young so that limits the free time available but we make it work.

I love my wife more than anything in this world. If it were not possible to have nookie with her I would be ok with it.

Think about reversing the situation> what if YOU couldn't perform when she wanted it ever again?

SteveDraz · 03-18-2015, 09:38 AM

Averages out to 2x / week. Sometimes a lot more. Sometimes not for more than a week. We're in our mid 40s and will be married for 20 years this year (been together for 25). Have 3 kids (16, 13, and 8 for what it's worth).

At about 40+ she became a lot more adventurous. Even more so than in college. Now, she's up for just about anything. I'm having more fun now than when we were in school - same with her. Anyone else have the same experiences?

recycled sixtie · recycled sixtie's Garage

Quote:

Originally Posted by targa911S

my wife is sickly....almost lost her last year. She's 66 I'm 64. Zero contact for the last three years due to her condition(s). Difficult at first but I'm pretty used to it now. At times I grumble but it is what it is. We have been together 35 years. You don't get to reshuffle the deck if you don't like the cards you got. She is still my best friend and confidant. There is a lot more to a good relationship than sex. It helps that I'm my own best friend once in a while. ( TMI I know )

You are living proof that you are a decent human being.

I have witnessed some women that have no sex drive and never getting married and women that have a high sex drive and they cannot stay married. I am sure there are men out there like that too. These two types of folks are at opposite ends of the bell curve.

The ones in the middle that are supposed 'normal' accommodate their partner and attempt to see the other's point of view. However as people age, their bodies change and the sex drive reduction is not necessarily for the same for men and women.

This is my theory and I will stick to it.
Guy