Question for those of you who have given up drink
 

I lived alone up to 52 years of age... therefor I was pretty rough around the edges...
Ate crappy food, drank like a fish, smoked cigars, you get the idea...
Then my brother pasted from a stroke/heart attack back when he was 50 (he was my older brother, I think I was 48 at the time)... he was a heavy drinker/partier.
A very close friend passed at 47... also heavy drinker.
Anther very close lady friend passed in her sleep... she was into... well, multiple meds.
See a trend here?
And my Dr. is after me to watch my blood sugar, loose some pounds, blah, blah, blah...
I'm now 58 and married and my wife wants me to live, sheese! :rolleyes:

I know a few of you have stopped drinking... curious if you did cold turkey, detox, counseling, meetings (12 step), or any combo of the above?

Thanks in advance!

Why do you have to stop? Can't you just cut it down to 1 or 2 a night?

A few more years of marriage and I bet you feel differently! ;)

"Why do men die before their wives?"
"Because they want to!"

There is a lot of variability in the studies, but the preponderance of studies show that moderate drinking (for men, no more than 2 per day) is actually good for long term health.

So my advice is to just cut back to having an evening nightcap or whatever you want, keep it to 1, maybe 2, watch the calorie count (e.g. beer has more calories than a straight whiskey) and then live....

Dennis

I'm with motion, start with how often and how much do you drink currently.

Be honest about it and start setting goals to limit the current behavior, once your reach the desired milestone, set another goal and achieve it until you're at a sustainable level.

I personally don't think anyone who can identify their issue (as you've decided to bring to us) needs to take such dramatic action off the rip. But that's me.

OTOH, if you find yourself failing at your goals, I'd immediately turn to external support resources.

This is coming from a former fat kid/guy, who made the active decision (as a teenager) to change his life and not be obese like the majority of his family. 12 years after making said decision, don't think every calorie that passes my lips isn't thought about before it does so.

I don't know how much you drink but to stop a habit you must change the routine that goes along with it.

If you have a drink after work, do something else. If you have a drink before bed, do something else.

You get the idea.

After a few weeks of this you should have been able to train yourself to be able to go without a drink and have the willpower to say no.

If you are a raging alcoholic, you probably should seek a professional.

Bingo...

One alternative to the 12 step programs is the Sinclair method. 12 step programs work for some people, but not for everybody, and there are a lot of good reasons why.

here's a documentary about it called One Little Pill:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Little_Pill

Here's a great article in the Atlantic about it:

The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous - The Atlantic

Going cold turkey isn't the worst thing in the world for a month. This will help you to start to reorganize your life around something other than alcohol.

If you are having trouble with the idea of going totally without for a month then you probably have a problem that needs some kind of intervention. 12 Step is a good place to start. Yes, I know that moderation is healthy. Unfortunately, most people don't have the ability to become a social drinker after they realize there is a dependence to the drug. I see too many people say "I can quit any time" or I don't keep count but I'm having a few extra just tonight. I suspect that you have determined that your level of dependence is fairly high (based on your question about detox, 12 step, etc). The cool thing about 12 step is you have support from people who know what you are going through. You don't have to tough it out alone.

I went from drinking like a fish and doing much chemicals to nothing, nada, nill, back in 1982. Not one drop, puff, etc since. It all took place after I became born again. Unfortunately there are other bad attributes (like a temper) that God is still working on.

Cold turkey, just got sick of hangovers, and wasted unproductive time . I woke up one morning and just said " that's it, I'm done "
My life began to improve exponentially right away. It was a very wise decision for me. I have never looked back.
I would rather gouge me eyeballs out with a dull gasket scraper than drink, or spend time with people who are drinking. I think I am an old stick in the mud now.

I used to drink as a religion. I stopped cold turkey about ten years ago. Four years ago, I got remarried and the wife and I enjoy a glass or two of wine every night. About once a month we mix up a pitcher of margaritas for our cut throat, off-road croquet tournament.

I guess I left it pretty vague to see what sort of responses I would get.
Thing is if you talk to people in AA or running recovery programs (I have) they push a zero tolerance program.

I don't consider myself an alcoholic, however I do have a tendency to "over do" food, drink, whatever... I consider it a personality defect but not alcoholism.

I was a huge partier most of my adult life then around twenty years ago I stopped doing drugs without a "program".

However with drugs once you stop you eventually stop hanging around with "those" people you loose all your connections... with alcohol it is right there at the supermarket every time you go for groceries (at least here in Cal).

I WAS drinking everyday before I got married six years ago (mostly a carry over from my bachelor days)... however over the past few months I cut down to a few drinks a few times a week.

Out of curiosity (and to encourage myself to cut down) I started going to AA meetings and while I enjoy the conversations and camaraderie there is no way they will accept "having a few drinks a few times a week."

Oh and from the "oh irony file" my drug of choice from back in the day? Marijuana! :rolleyes:

Cold turkey, but I ritualized putting a coin in a jar every night right before bed for a few years; (it symbolized the money I was saving by not getting drunk every night) I even did it when I was traveling, brought the coins home to put in the master jar.

I told myself that if I ever slipped, I'd have to dump out the jar and start over, and it worked. It's been at least 10 years, maybe 12 or 13....

Bring back good memories... http://forums.pelicanparts.com/support/smileys/wat6.gif

Having a drink or 2 a couple times a week(as you stated) is not a problem that I think needs to be corrected.

You don't need AA to cut down.

Most people who are dependent don't consider themselves alcoholics. Test yourself to see. Make a list of every time you have a drink: how much and when. See if the few drinks a few times is really the case. Better still go totally abstinent for a month. Isn't a requirement but as I stated before, if you can't be abstinent for a season then you are addicted. Its easy to say I can quit anytime but most people are surprised to find out that quitting wasn't as easy as they thought.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addictive_personality

It is GREAT that you are evaluating yourself for the sake of your family. Make sure you don't cheat on the test.

I'm a drunkard for the most part, but every year after new years I quit for 4-8 weeks depending on how much weight I want to lose and how I'm feeling about life. I don't mind going without alcohol, but I do like to have a drink in my hand, so decaf coffee or mint tea is my drink of choice at night. I find it also helps just to go out and walk for an hour. Not speed walking, just get out and enjoy the air.

When I was younger I was coerced into going to AA by my parents. It was 100% worthless for me. Its seemed ridged and mindlesss. The people there were all clearly chemically addicted, and had crashed cars, lost marriages, gotten in trouble with the law, etc. I wasn't like that, and 25 years later I'm not like that.

BTW, not sure if you are still smoking, but I found it literally 10x harder to quit tobacco than alcohol. I haven't smoked in 15 years, but I still yearn for a drag on a Camel light. Wish I was kidding.

Given your description of your lifestyle, I would focus more on nutrition and exercise. It will do you way more good that cutting out the relative small amount you are drinking. I drink most days (1-2) but watch what I eat more as I get older and exercise quite a bit.

Last time my wife went out of town I bought a cigar (gone without for months)... I kid you not by the time I finished I was dizzy!

I stopped cold turkey in 2008, no issues

I stopped drinking 20 years ago(might have a beer once every 6 months). It wasn't a conscious decision, it just happened. Now I just feel better about it.

It's your choice ultimately. I've known many people who needed to stop completely or die.

Moderation is the key, I believe, but again, to each his own.

If I smoked a full cigar today, I'd probably puke.

I have alot of friends who live for today and don't have a thought towards the future, I just can't understand that mentality, I plan on retiring comfortably 10 years from now at 60 years old with no debt and a big 401K and pension. I drink more now than I ever have, but it's still only maybe 6-8 a week. Some friends have that many drinks by early afternoon, and then go riding thier Harley and can't seem to grasp why thier life is in shambles (huge debt, bad health, multiple divorces, depression).

I like the advice given above.....slow down, limit yourself to a drink or two a day, and remember that YOU are in control, not the alcohol.

I don't get the heavy drinking year after year for most of a lifetime. I drank and partied when I was young and smoked. I quit smoking in my 20's and had lost my interest (never was a desire) for drinking by my early 30's. I drink very seldom and have done that for decades. I occasionally have a beer (my last box of 24 beers lasted over a year and a half) or wine and more rarely a class of scotch with ice. I just developed interests in other directions and think that should be the natural progression and really don't understand the tendency/dependency to drink alcoholic beverages as an integral part of daily life. It doesn't seem like a natural/normal thing to do. But then the reason I quit smoking was it seemed like it wasn't a normal/natural thing to do. Not trying to be holier than thou and maybe I have a hang up about doing things that keep introducing unnatural things into your body on a regular (compulsive?) basis. I guess different people just have different interests and priorities which include regular consumption/overconsumption of food/alcohol/drugs, whatever.

The issue I see is your family history. You have to clean it up, otherwise you probably will be in trouble. The booze is only a small part of the issue. IMHO you have to get an exercise regiment going. Nothing crazy, but you live in one of the best climates in the world, so off to an evening walk 5 days a week, for starters. Get a dog if you need motivation. Take the wife - go to a cafe as part of the routine. (And drink a non alcoholic beverage there!)

As far as the booze goes, if you think it is an issue, just don't drink for at least a month. Cold turkey. If bored, go on said walk. If you miss beer, try Clausthaler non alcoholic. That will re-set the clock and you can go down to less drinking when you come back to it. I suggest a rule of Fri-Sun drinking only. Dry the rest of the week.

G

Just stop, the amount you are drinking makes any kind of dependance a mental one and not a physical one, so just tell yourself your done and make it so.
Next weekend will be 11 years sober for me, but I HAD to quit before me or someone else died but my story has been told too many times here and this isn't about me.
Like Mike says, "just do it"
There is nothing wrong with drinking in moderation, a cold beer on a hot day, glass of wine with dinner, etc.

I think some people are born with an addictive personality that follows them thier entire life. I have smoked some weed, drank a bunch, drove fast and wild, even smoked a few packs of cigs, but I have a very strong will, and when I decide to either do something or conversely, stop doing something, that's it....i'm done, i've never had that "URGE" to keep doing it.

If this is truly a problem, there are plenty of help groups out there that have members who have kicked the habit and can help you.

Stopped 33 years ago, no big deal. I think peer pressure was the biggest obstacle.

If your friends can't handle it, then they aren't friends.

i was bad. killin myself with booze, in the record biz, in the 70's, real mad men kinda stuff. quit cold turkey, did AA for the first two years. been sober since 1982. looking back it was pretty easy. just don't drink. the rest takes care of itself.

Can't say I went to that extreme, but after 35 years of "work hard, play hard" and a few thousand rock 'n roll shows etc. I just decided to leave it all behind when I turned 50, but not all at once. Cigs (w/ a beer....ALWAYS)...cold turkey, still a few beers every now & again, but I can't (and don't want to) pound 'em like I used to. Just find a way that works for you Scott, and best of luck! Haven't read this whole thread, but you've got a LOT of help here....but you already know that ;)

Since you have a whole range of behaviors you want to change, you might try Myfitness Pal. It helps you keep track of the stuff you eat and drink. It is amazingly effective to record and measure everything you eat and drink. It makes you think about everything you ingest and consciously make decisions about it, like, "OK, do I want a glass of wine right now, or a cookie, or do I want to skip them both and lose more weight?" It also has a social media function that lets you connect with other people who are using it that is a helpful motivator. I use it periodically and would probably use it more consistently if I took advantage of the social thing.

https://www.myfitnesspal.com

I can stop anytime.

I have one beer a week. Okay. Maybe three on crazy weeks. It's just a drink for me.


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

I know I can walk away from drinking (see my above post about stopping drugs)... it is more a matter of the little boy in me resisting "being told" (by doctor and wife... who are suggesting I give up drinking).
Childish I know, but my family history is of bullheaded stubborn men who do not like to be told what to do. And I get the "cutting off my nose to spite my face" thing.

The other thing is the AA meetings, I like the people, really I do... great bunch of guys and gals... and I know it works for some people and has saved a lot of lives, but the whole thing seems dreadfully repetitive... 12 steps, over and over, pretty much they go over the first five chapters of the "big book" over and over (165 pages I think) repeating the serenity prayer (that I say several times a week, a great thought if you are a drunk or sober).
But people talking about doing that every day, some people doing multiple meeting a day 5 or 7 times a week. Just seems a little odd to me.

And don't want to be negative... but it was just three guys (two who were doctors I think) that got together in the 1930's and made this whole program up... not a lot of science behind it.

Other than not hanging out with the drinking crowd, what is your downside to stopping?

AA can't be for everyone--some would argue that it is a cult. But many people need a substitute for their drinking and many just need support. Some may not need others help or a substitute. Only you can know what will work for you.

This. Diet and exercise are a big deal (though genetics can trump things). Moderate to heavy drinking typically is not good for you. Even light drinking can be problematic - depends on the person. Smoking is never good and is probably the biggest detriment to your health. While there are exceptions (Keith Richards comes to mind), the statistics are what they are.

I'm lucky that I have good genes, but even with that committing to regular exercise (swimming) has made a significant difference. As for the alcohol, I have a sip of wine about once a month. About 5 or 6 years ago I used to have a glass of wine a day but that's faded away.

You really don't need to drink booze. I'm in clubs/bars regularly playing gigs and have a soda (that's about the only time I drink soda - something else you should avoid). Works fine...

Understood.

What cut me back. Well it stopped me cold was my liver enzymes. My liver was sending out an SOS. I had to stop.

Now I drink occasionally. I drink so
Little it is funny what gets me drunk. Two beers will be a hangover.

My college days. Whoa. I was beer's BFF


Sent via Jedi mind trick.

If you are focusing solely on alcohol then I think you are headed down the wrong path, presuming that the death of two close friends at an early age is what has caused you to examine your 'lifestyle'.

A non-sedentary lifestyle and 'all things in moderation' might be more appropriate than just giving up alcohol.

If there is a deeper issue you are skirting around, then perhaps both of the above would be in order.

If you can walk away from the drinking, do it. Prove to yourself you can and understand you will have a better life health wise and possibly emotionally. Rather than concentrate or dwell on your perceived stubbornness connected to what your wife & doctor are telling you, the important thing is to admit to yourself it's the best thing for you to do. I'm also a stubborn person though it has moderated with age. I found out I could give that up by not just thinking about being told what I should do by someone else, but to internalize the realization something is best for me and accept it on my own personal terms. Being stubborn and resistant to something you know is the course you should take because you feel you are being dictated to by other people is irrational when you really think about it.

I spent 3 days & 2 nights in the hospital back in April...congestive heart failure.
Could not get my breath when lying down...sat up for two sleepless nights in order to breath.
Went to the ER.
Left ventricle operating at 30%.
One of the first things they asked was, "How much alcohol do you consume?"
My lover was Vodka/Tonic...3 - 4 per night.
Now I rarely have one.
.
Cut down or die...your choice. Good luck!
PS I'm 69.

Absolutely true! I think this is more annoying to me than anything else... the irrational "shoot myself in the foot" {just because I can} mentality I need to get over.
Perhaps being the last born of three boys and feeling that I have been ordered about by my family my whole life may have something to do with it. (Also irrational to be controlled by feelings of a family life I left over 30 years ago, however are we all not a product of our upbringing... perhaps that is another thread.)

For multiple examples of irrational behavior feel free to visit PARF