Question for those of you who have given up drink

[scottmandue]

I lived alone up to 52 years of age... therefor I was pretty rough around the edges...
Ate crappy food, drank like a fish, smoked cigars, you get the idea...
Then my brother pasted from a stroke/heart attack back when he was 50 (he was my older brother, I think I was 48 at the time)... he was a heavy drinker/partier.
A very close friend passed at 47... also heavy drinker.
Anther very close lady friend passed in her sleep... she was into... well, multiple meds.
See a trend here?
And my Dr. is after me to watch my blood sugar, loose some pounds, blah, blah, blah...
I'm now 58 and married and my wife wants me to live, sheese!

I know a few of you have stopped drinking... curious if you did cold turkey, detox, counseling, meetings (12 step), or any combo of the above?

Thanks in advance!

[motion]

Why do you have to stop? Can't you just cut it down to 1 or 2 a night?

[Porsche-O-Phile]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I'm now 58 and married and my wife wants me to live, sheese!

A few more years of marriage and I bet you feel differently!

"Why do men die before their wives?"
"Because they want to!"

[Iciclehead]

There is a lot of variability in the studies, but the preponderance of studies show that moderate drinking (for men, no more than 2 per day) is actually good for long term health.

So my advice is to just cut back to having an evening nightcap or whatever you want, keep it to 1, maybe 2, watch the calorie count (e.g. beer has more calories than a straight whiskey) and then live....

Dennis

[911SauCy]

I'm with motion, start with how often and how much do you drink currently.

Be honest about it and start setting goals to limit the current behavior, once your reach the desired milestone, set another goal and achieve it until you're at a sustainable level.

I personally don't think anyone who can identify their issue (as you've decided to bring to us) needs to take such dramatic action off the rip. But that's me.

OTOH, if you find yourself failing at your goals, I'd immediately turn to external support resources.

This is coming from a former fat kid/guy, who made the active decision (as a teenager) to change his life and not be obese like the majority of his family. 12 years after making said decision, don't think every calorie that passes my lips isn't thought about before it does so.

[Oh Haha]

I don't know how much you drink but to stop a habit you must change the routine that goes along with it.

If you have a drink after work, do something else. If you have a drink before bed, do something else.

You get the idea.

After a few weeks of this you should have been able to train yourself to be able to go without a drink and have the willpower to say no.

If you are a raging alcoholic, you probably should seek a professional.

[TheMentat]

Originally Posted by motion

Why do you have to stop? Can't you just cut it down to 1 or 2 a night?

Bingo...

One alternative to the 12 step programs is the Sinclair method. 12 step programs work for some people, but not for everybody, and there are a lot of good reasons why.

here's a documentary about it called One Little Pill:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Little_Pill

Here's a great article in the Atlantic about it:

The Irrationality of Alcoholics Anonymous - The Atlantic

[Por_sha911]

Going cold turkey isn't the worst thing in the world for a month. This will help you to start to reorganize your life around something other than alcohol.

If you are having trouble with the idea of going totally without for a month then you probably have a problem that needs some kind of intervention. 12 Step is a good place to start. Yes, I know that moderation is healthy. Unfortunately, most people don't have the ability to become a social drinker after they realize there is a dependence to the drug. I see too many people say "I can quit any time" or I don't keep count but I'm having a few extra just tonight. I suspect that you have determined that your level of dependence is fairly high (based on your question about detox, 12 step, etc). The cool thing about 12 step is you have support from people who know what you are going through. You don't have to tough it out alone.

I went from drinking like a fish and doing much chemicals to nothing, nada, nill, back in 1982. Not one drop, puff, etc since. It all took place after I became born again. Unfortunately there are other bad attributes (like a temper) that God is still working on.

[fastfredracing]

Cold turkey, just got sick of hangovers, and wasted unproductive time . I woke up one morning and just said " that's it, I'm done "
My life began to improve exponentially right away. It was a very wise decision for me. I have never looked back.
I would rather gouge me eyeballs out with a dull gasket scraper than drink, or spend time with people who are drinking. I think I am an old stick in the mud now.

[mreid]

I used to drink as a religion. I stopped cold turkey about ten years ago. Four years ago, I got remarried and the wife and I enjoy a glass or two of wine every night. About once a month we mix up a pitcher of margaritas for our cut throat, off-road croquet tournament.

[scottmandue]

I guess I left it pretty vague to see what sort of responses I would get.
Thing is if you talk to people in AA or running recovery programs (I have) they push a zero tolerance program.

I don't consider myself an alcoholic, however I do have a tendency to "over do" food, drink, whatever... I consider it a personality defect but not alcoholism.

I was a huge partier most of my adult life then around twenty years ago I stopped doing drugs without a "program".

However with drugs once you stop you eventually stop hanging around with "those" people you loose all your connections... with alcohol it is right there at the supermarket every time you go for groceries (at least here in Cal).

I WAS drinking everyday before I got married six years ago (mostly a carry over from my bachelor days)... however over the past few months I cut down to a few drinks a few times a week.

Out of curiosity (and to encourage myself to cut down) I started going to AA meetings and while I enjoy the conversations and camaraderie there is no way they will accept "having a few drinks a few times a week."

Oh and from the "oh irony file" my drug of choice from back in the day? Marijuana!

[herr_oberst]

Cold turkey, but I ritualized putting a coin in a jar every night right before bed for a few years; (it symbolized the money I was saving by not getting drunk every night) I even did it when I was traveling, brought the coins home to put in the master jar.

I told myself that if I ever slipped, I'd have to dump out the jar and start over, and it worked. It's been at least 10 years, maybe 12 or 13....

[JJ 911SC]

Originally Posted by mreid

... off-road croquet tournament.

Bring back good memories...

[Oh Haha]

Having a drink or 2 a couple times a week(as you stated) is not a problem that I think needs to be corrected.

You don't need AA to cut down.

[Por_sha911]

Originally Posted by scottmandue

I guess I left it pretty vague to see what sort of responses I would get.
Thing is if you talk to people in AA or running recovery programs (I have) they push a zero tolerance program.

I don't consider myself an alcoholic, however I do have a tendency to "over do" food, drink, whatever... I consider it a personality defect but not alcoholism.

I was a huge partier most of my adult life then around twenty years ago I stopped doing drugs without a "program".
However with drugs once you stop you eventually stop hanging around with "those" people you loose all your connections... with alcohol it is right there at the supermarket every time you go for groceries (at least here in Cal).
I WAS drinking everyday before I got married six years ago (mostly a carry over from my bachelor days)... however over the past few months I cut down to a few drinks a few times a week.
Out of curiosity (and to encourage myself to cut down) I started going to AA meetings and while I enjoy the conversations and camaraderie there is no way they will accept "having a few drinks a few times a week."
Oh and from the "oh irony file" my drug of choice from back in the day? Marijuana!

Most people who are dependent don't consider themselves alcoholics. Test yourself to see. Make a list of every time you have a drink: how much and when. See if the few drinks a few times is really the case. Better still go totally abstinent for a month. Isn't a requirement but as I stated before, if you can't be abstinent for a season then you are addicted. Its easy to say I can quit anytime but most people are surprised to find out that quitting wasn't as easy as they thought.

An addictive personality refers to a particular set of personality traits that make an individual predisposed to developing addictions.[1] This hypothesis states that there are common elements among people with varying addictions that relates to personality traits

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addictive_personality

It is GREAT that you are evaluating yourself for the sake of your family. Make sure you don't cheat on the test.

[HardDrive]

I'm a drunkard for the most part, but every year after new years I quit for 4-8 weeks depending on how much weight I want to lose and how I'm feeling about life. I don't mind going without alcohol, but I do like to have a drink in my hand, so decaf coffee or mint tea is my drink of choice at night. I find it also helps just to go out and walk for an hour. Not speed walking, just get out and enjoy the air.

When I was younger I was coerced into going to AA by my parents. It was 100% worthless for me. Its seemed ridged and mindlesss. The people there were all clearly chemically addicted, and had crashed cars, lost marriages, gotten in trouble with the law, etc. I wasn't like that, and 25 years later I'm not like that.

BTW, not sure if you are still smoking, but I found it literally 10x harder to quit tobacco than alcohol. I haven't smoked in 15 years, but I still yearn for a drag on a Camel light. Wish I was kidding.

[jhynesrockmtn]

Given your description of your lifestyle, I would focus more on nutrition and exercise. It will do you way more good that cutting out the relative small amount you are drinking. I drink most days (1-2) but watch what I eat more as I get older and exercise quite a bit.

[scottmandue]

Originally Posted by HardDrive

BTW, not sure if you are still smoking, but I found it literally 10x harder to quit tobacco than alcohol. I haven't smoked in 15 years, but I still yearn for a drag on a Camel light. Wish I was kidding.

Last time my wife went out of town I bought a cigar (gone without for months)... I kid you not by the time I finished I was dizzy!

[Racerbvd]

I stopped cold turkey in 2008, no issues

[bri450sl]

I stopped drinking 20 years ago(might have a beer once every 6 months). It wasn't a conscious decision, it just happened. Now I just feel better about it.