My wife's grandmother passed away just after her 99th birthday.

Sad part is she was suffered dementia and was bed-ridden since she was 78 years old :-(

This is another one of those threads that I read in the morning and think about a bit...which, to be frank, is the reason I like this place.

I do not know how exactly I will deal with being physically infirm should it happen. But I will deal with it. I would prefer, as did my parents, to not linger in my physical denouement and exit with dignity.

That I can manage. I watched both my parents understand that the nadir had been reached and begin the process of shutting down. Their malady was cancer and it was king. They were both, however weakened by cancer, sentient to the end.

I can do that. The last few conversations I had with my father were practical and funny and guided by forethought: He had planned his living will accordingly and wanted to make sure I followed it to the letter.

We then talked about which medicinal pot he might, all these years after his disappointments in my experimentation, try during chemo. A father and son can share a boat load of truth when the distance between perspectives is collapsed by experience.

What is so much harder, pervasive in my thoughts, is becoming mentally untenable: That is my fear, that I will not understand that I am a burden. I can handle the physical as long as the synapses are crossing the divide.

The sad thing with cancer is when it spreads to the brain. We are watching this with Thuy's dad. His original diagnoses was lung cancer, but he has a few spots on his brain, and its starting to get to him. He definitely has days where he doesn't make sense and seems foggy. Health is pretty good otherwise though.... :/

My wife's grandmother was 98 and still fairly healthy when she just gave up and had to be moved to a nursing home. She was depressed in that her husband had been dead for 30 years. Three of her children had already died. All of he long term friends had died.

My mother came down with brain cancer. We first noticed when she could not find her was to my house and she had been there hundreds of times. They tried radiation therapy and that did not help. She went quickly fortunately.

The man that started the company here did things right. In his words he "took early retirement at age 92." He took his last flight as pilot in command on his 92nd birthday. He had been flying since before WW2 and never once had an accident or even an off airport landing. He only retired because it is impossible to buy commercial insurance for a pilot 90 and up. When he was 89 he was flying the airplane and taking photos all by himself.

He was 98 and still lived at home, still drove his car. We called him one day to see if he remembered the name of the plumber we had used here at the office. He instantly told us the guys name and recited his phone number. We called him because we could not remember that.

One evening he kissed his wife goodnight and went upstairs to go to bed and she stayed up to watch a TV show. He dropped dead before she got upstairs. No long term hospital stay, no slow tortuous existence in a nursing home. That is a good life.

I for one, do not want to live forever but I do want to live a life full of life and when that last breath is taken know life was good.

At 67, I have already outlived my father, died at 64. My mother died last yr at 91 with full fledged dementia, osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis, her last yr was not one anyone would be envious. I do not want to end up in a nursing home, horrible places, IMHO.

All I can say is stay active, keep mental challenges going and live by" use it or lose it" and as they say the only thing guaranteed is death and taxes.

I have told my children when my time is at hand, lets go for a sail and let me stand on the side of the boat to take a pee and if I fall in, don't turn the boat around, besides crabs need something to eat.

There it is.

Pilots:cool:

The issue with modern medicine is that it does not only prolong your good years, but also your time suffering. It may even be disproportionately the time suffering that is extended. Also, as our lives get longer, we plan for it. Study longer, marry later, have kids later, work later and still run the risk of keeling over at 65.

I want to have a good run - at least have grandchildren, if the kids will deliver them. I hope for an easy out, no matter when the time comes. I hope it will be easier in the future to refuse treatment and even help yourself along in a manner that is easy for you and on the family and friends left behind.

My gramps knew it was over and just stopped taking his meds. It was still brutal - 3 days of slowly drowning from heart failure. I hope I will have good care with plenty of IV opioids when I get to the same spot one day. We can't all just not wake up one day, unfortunately.

G

This is so true!
Some people are sharp as a tack at 90-100, traveling the world, driving cars, flying airplanes... other people at 60 just "aren't there".

Mom turned 92 Monday, she says "things were good to 80 then I started to fall apart".
Dad passed away a little over a year ago year... strong as an ox but his last days were not pretty.

Looking at family genes I should be good to 90, hate to sound morbid but not sure I want to make it past 80.

Maybe some.

How about I just run her over a little bit?

Maybe say you're "Feeling just a little bit stabby". ;)

Change that to accidentally backed over her...

My parents have run their course in their early 80's. It's going to be a very difficult road for all of us from here on out.

Pop is 99, sharp as a tack, but his body and eyes have given up. Still a very sweet guy, but he's had enough. I hope its peaceful for him, Shaun's dad had the perfect ending it seems.

Went to my grandfather's folder and found this pic from early September. He had cut down the dead tree, dug it out and was working on how to pull the stump out with the tractor.

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1454765902.jpg

My mom will be 22 years old at the end of the month.;)
She lives with us (several years now), has her own out-law, basement with walkout apartment. I've only seen her for a few minutes this week. There have been some rough spots but overall no real issues having her here.
The bad for her is seeing most of your friends and some of your kids die off. Luckily she still has many of her younger family who come around.
She still has her faculties but we can see dementia slowly creeping in.

In looking at her as long as I have my mind I will continue on.

What's that in American years??

I'm trying not to think of the end of life right now. I've worked my behind off. Our first retirement plan fell through and my wife and I are getting more aggressive about slowing down. I want some time to enjoy doing only what I want before I go.
My wife made us a retirement clock. It reminds us of our goal.


http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1454788330.jpg

^ ^ ^
Nifty.
.
This has become a most seductive thread, for me.
Frequently, during each day lately, I'll think...
"Will it happen here as I'm cleaning up the patio?...or now, as I'm taking a shower?..."
I had a quad by-pass in '11 and a congestive heart issue March '15...lots of meds now.
As a result, I've become more empathetic, compassionate, and generous with those close to me.
If I had a choice, I'd prefer to have a few days, maybe weeks, to digest and embrace the actuality of my own end rather than the shock of grabbing my chest at that frightful moment and realizing, "Oh phuque!, this is 'IT'...I'm not ready."
One can fantasize, eh?...but life doesn't care, I realize that.

Whoa!

So that makes you, what, 3 or 4 years old? :)

You're the first one to notice. :D

Think about it. ;)