So you want to live forever .....
 

The resent discussions of Schumi made me reflect, and share this:

My grandmother is 101 years old.
She's Blind, nearly deaf, she's mean and has dementia. Sometimes she recognizes her family, sometimes not.
She can't do much of anything by herself.

She was trying to walk this past weekend with a walker and an attendant, but she fell hard.
When they got her to the ER they tried to put her in ICU as she was diagnosed with pneumonia.
The ICU doctors said she always has pneumonia, high fever, ridiculously high blood pressure, she's 101 and she's dying.
But she's been dying for years.
She has a declaration on file for no life-support. If she goes she goes.
But she won't. Never met anyone more stubborn.

So the doctors at ICU will not admit her. The hospital says take her home.
The home where she has been living says don't bring her back here just to die.

My parents are not up to caring for the woman 24/7, but may have to hire a professional staffing to take care of her in their house $$$$$$$$$

There is a hospice nearby that they are talking to, they may agree to "warehouse" here until she passes.

The whole thing is depressing as hell, everyone is fighting the thought that she should just go.

I hope I never live long enough to be in that sitch.

Live good, die at a reasonable age, leave a good legacy you an be proud of.

Amen brother, words to live (and die) by....

Dennis

Here's my grandfather in July 2014 at 91 years old. He was still cutting down trees in his forest for firewood, speaking at church on every Sunday, yelling at everyone on the town council and digging boulders the size of small block Chevy's out of his yard, by hand, though he'd drag them out into the forest with the tractor and chains.

Meeting him, you would swear he was in his 70s. Early 70s.

I changed the oil in the car in early October, we had dinner at a little seafood shack on the CT river, he was in excellent health and on top of his game. Was planning on going to Poland with his church.

October 21, he passed away in his sleep.

He had the perfect life, raised a great family, always looking for ways to help others, and passed away perfectly. Miss him every day.

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My MIL is still living on her own at 90. She's slipping but so far so good. She sleeps around 16 hours a day, is depressed, and still drives her car to get things. I'm afaird this is just the start of things to come.

First, what a life it must have been to be alive for the past 100 years. Congratulations to her!
But - Where has she been living, Club Med? I've never heard of a old folks home that didn't take the old and dying. My wife worked in elder care for several years. She called it the checkout lane in the supermarket of life. Dying is part of the life cycle, celebrate her 100 years and embrace it. It is as it should be.

Grandparents on dad's side lived into their 80s and died quick. Both worked their farm up until the end, but I was young (6 for one and 9 for the other)

Grandparents on mom's side lived into their late 90s, and traveled the world until they were 90. Grandpa had the worst physically with his back and stenosis, but grandma had a habit of having TIAs. Grandma was strong and bull headed (after her last TIA she made the nurses find someone to speak the 9 languages she remembered knowing, to make sure she still new 'em!). Both took a long time of slowing down, but all at home. No long hospital stays, etc.

My gram is 93 and on the last leg. PAD with gangrene setting in. I can't imagine a worse way to die.
Chin up, 101 will get you in those smuckers commercials!!

I don't think I need worry too much about getting old. Our extended family all die in our fifties and sixties.

Gotta go and get out there and enjoy myself. I haven't got much time left :)

Watching my grandma slide into the grips of dementia, I know I don't want to go that way for sure. Watching Thuy's dad battle lung cancer, I don't like that much better. Dying is ugly business as you get old. Due to the age gap I will likely be around a few years after Thuy passes. She always jokes that I'll get young GF. I tell her no, I'll just get all the dangerous toys that she isn't fond of. I say I want to die quickly in a doe tusks crash at the track or something like that! No slipping into old age and diapers for me!

Here is my old friend of thirty plus years, Doris. She's 101 and insists she was a bar fly in a former life. At 98, she took the train from the town she lives in in Texas to visit us and later friends in Santa Barbara on her way back to Texas. Says she isn't going to be traveling alone like that anymore. Lived a great life living in South America, Mexico, Asia, and traveling other parts of the world in between. She worked for USAID in Asian countries and admits to playing strip poker with coworkers in several places. Got out of Saigon three days before the big collapse. She said her 100th birthday was a marker and can't see any reason for hanging around spending her niece's inheritance. She still enjoys life, just doesn't see any big reasons for prolonging it. I don't expect to hang around that long and hope to enjoy myself at least half as much as she has.


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Funny this is a thread. Just at the bar tonight with a friend that grandfather passed away earlier this week. He was 77. Wasn't sick to long and was able to say his goodbyes. Died at home in his own bed that faced that had a good view of the mountains.. Went out on his terms and seems like the way I'd prefer to go. Not many people have that luxury.

Blessing and a curse to live well into your 90s or 100s!!

We have a friend from church. She is 105 and as sharp as a razor. She does day trading for fun. If you met her you would think she was 80 ish. One of the NYC hospitals has her in a study on age.

She's a truly an amazing and charitable woman. She volunteers at my sister's (principal) RC school in the library 1-2 times per week. She has set up a scholarship fund as well for kids whose parents can't afford the tuition. And she was going on cruises solo until 2 years ago. Now she takes an aid with her. God bless Rose.

It's all in your genetic cards.

Your perspective changes as you get old.
Putting a number on how long one wants to live gets more personal.....as does the amount of aches & pains. At the moment, I am having "issues". If I recover from these, 10 years seems like a good number. If not.....it really don't matter much.

"hope I die before I get old"

I feel for you Sammy. My Mom is 92 and in a home due to dementia. She's alive but not really living. She's in that existence where she eats, breathes and moves around the house but thats it. My physical condition prevents me from taking her out and my brothers are too far way to help. I can't even have a normal conversation with her. And she shows no sign of fading physically. That generation is pretty tough.

Dying is THE most personal event in one's life.
I'd prefer to not...but I have no vote in the matter, unfortunately.

My grandma is there too. Can get around OK but doesn't know who anyone is most days. She was a very strong independent woman I can't imagine she'd like living this way. I had a relative who completely lost it to Alzheimer's and lived for 17 yrs in the nursing home not knowing anyone. I'd never want to live nearly 20yrs not knowing who anyone or anything is.

Age is a funny thing. I know people that are 60 that I look at and think, "Wow, they are OLD." Others that are 95 or 100 and I am certain their chart is wrong, no way they are more than 70.

Trick is to keep your mind alive. Did you know that people that dance regularly are much less likely to get dementia?

I knew a couple that cruised the Danube when he was 98 and she was 95. He was into photography, was pretty good too. They married in their late 80's, after their spouses died. They were dance partners at the local Elks Lodge. He wanted to tour Europe and wanted her to come along. She did not think it would be appropriate for them to travel together, not being married and all. He married her, took her to Europe, New Zealand, Australia and South America.


Her daughter did not approve, thought he was after her money. Ended up getting power of attorney over the little old lady and moved Estelle to Santa Barbara. Bill stayed in Sacramento, died within 6 months, the life just went out of him, died at 101. Makes me cry just thinking about it.

I swear if I ever see that daughter I will gut shoot her evil ass so she can get to Hell a little bit sooner.

Hey Tobra, you should edit your post a bit. I'm pretty sure you're showing criminal intent there.

My mother's hospice nurse called Pneumonia god's angel.

I can feel your pain having been close to 4 family members with long term illnesses that were sick and suffered for years.
3 of those were under 60 years old.
We can get sick and debilitated before we get old. :(

Currently my Mother in law (Mil) 79 years old is starting here 9th year with Alzheimers.

She lived in her own home with a crappy night nurse for 2 years.
Crappy as in Mil would turn the thermostat to max and overheat the house the nurse would just sleep with her bedroom window open.

After 2 years of long distance care requiring several phone calls a day, she finally agreed to move from the midwest to our location into a skilled nursing facility.
Had 2 mostly good years in the nursing facility.

Then 5 years ago moved into the memory care unit for advanced Alzheimers care.

We were lucky as Mil listened when I suggested to her back in the 90s about looking into long term health care insurance.
She got the top John Hancock policy that lasts indefinitely.

Mr Hancock has paid out $80k+ a year for the last 7 years.
I hear now days they only write these policies for 2 or 3 years.
So she is at the best facility in town getting great care and is not a financial burden on her family.

Long term health care insurance is something to be considered.
It saves your assets and provides good care and less stress on families that would normally have to shoulder the responsibility of providing the care first hand.

My wife and I have a 10 year long term health care policy we got 20 years ago.
I think the annual premium is $4k a year and that stops once the policy is activated.
My only request would be to be placed in a home where the nurses are all 20 something Costa Rican girls.