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the tip of a nitrile glove forefinger is easily caught when unzipping. Very hard to get it out and zip back up.

Dude, you won't even touch your own penis? :cool:

I know where it's been. SmileWavy

I have to find it first?

Holy *****! WHY do I click on those threads???
Coffee out of my nose all over the keyboard AGAIN! ***** ***** *****!


You complain about the zipper?
Have you ever had jeans with BUTTONS? What a PITA! Standing there and trying to close that button row in front of the urinal sure looks stupid when other people enters the bathroom!

Button flies are difficult to undo when your fingers are cold ,especially if you are in a hurry!

Undo the belt, grab on to button that fastens the waist of the jeans and pull.
All the buttons on the 501s come undone.
Kind of like pulling the rip cord...

Never thought about the refastening issue....

And then your trousers fall down.

Our prayers have been answered......

http://forums.pelicanparts.com/uploa...1463586433.jpg

Never being one to pass up takin a shot at a consultant (a guy who can tell you 100 ways to make love but doesn't know any women):


The Efficiency Expert

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When another waiter brought our water, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup, I asked, "Why the spoon?"



"Well, he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired an efficiency expert to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, he concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per waiter's shift. They determined that if our personnel were better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 5 man-hours per shift."

"Amazing," I said. "I can see how that would really increase efficiency." And as luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen, instead of making an extra trip to get it right now," he explained.

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Well, management doesn't like us to talk about that," he said in a lowered voice. "Not everyone is so observant, and I see how interested you are, so I'll tell you. That expert I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our peckers, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 50 percent."

"But," I asked, "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

The obvious answer is Velcro.

Or staple gun.

I still have the scar from back in my teens !! LOL

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I am surprised at the responses...because it has never occurred to me not to use the fly as intended...either with the suit pants I wear to work or the Levi 501s (button fly) I wear at home.

The thing that always shocks me is how many men avoid the urinals and use the stalls to urinate (but do not lift the seat). If you ever have to do #2, all the seats are covered with urine unless recently cleaned. It seems most selfish and uncouth to me (would never dream of doing so). Are the men that pee on the seat raised by wolves or had no indoor plumbing in their youth? It seems more and more common to me. Is it a millennial or Gen X thing? I rarely saw this 20 years ago.

Yep...I use the zipper. Been doin' it that way ever since I left the nudist colony....no issues, lots of practice....WTF is wrong with y'all :)?

Depends.

I think the same thing. Hell, I even occasionally see crap on the seat.

I've thought that we should have a bouncer in the restroom that checks the stall when you're done, and if you've made a mess, he rubs your nose on the seat and then beats you with a rolled up news paper.

Hahahah, years ago, I was a bartender. The door girl had a crush on me (she was adorable). She told me that she was occasionally a dominatrix, but also liked to be dominated. She said that she'd had a boyfriend "who liked to staple himself to things."

When she said that, my brain balked for a second, then it spun and I got confused and asked her what she meant exactly. Apparently, he liked to staple his junk to stuff, and he used a staple gun to do it, not a regular paper stapler. I didn't ask for any more detail than that (twig or berries) because it didn't really matter to me. Wow, WTF. I wondered how you'd decide that you liked that. Are you reupholstering your couch in the nude one day, you slip, hit your junk and think, "Ow! Wait, wow! Yeah, that's the stuff. I should do that some more."

That guy probably uses the zipper hoping that he's zip his stuff up in it.

Yep. Interesting sociological study here. I wear button fly Levis 501s about 95% of the time, so catching my dork in the zipper hazard is reduced to about 5%. For that 5% of the time, (pay attention here), I make sure that little Elvis is back safely inside of my shorts before I zip the pants back up.

It's sort of the same as not sawing my fingers off w power tools or walking into spinning propellers, etc.. Just common sense. My parents taught me how to use a bathroom back when I was 3 years old and somehow I've never forget the lesson. :)

Strange thread.

I think I'd have asked Markie Post to help...

I can only assume that there's a lot of guys going commando. I just don't see how it's possible otherwise.

BTW, my cousin produced "There's Something About Mary." His mom and all of the aunts' reaction was basically, "Congratulations on having the biggest film of the summer your first time out and making hundreds of millions of dollars but next time could you maybe try to be a little less gross?" :D:D

The jizz as hair mousse was what really pushed it over the finish line at Thanksgiving dinner for the old Catholic ladies.

Two words....gun belt.

You have your weapon, baton, pepper spray, handcuffs, first aid kit, nitrile gloves, flashlight, spare magazines, and often much more. Most LEO's would make Batman envious. It's a fair amount of weight just begging to drop everything clear to the deck as soon as you undo the top button. Especially if you have no hips or ass to begin with.

The fly method is pretty much your only choice unless you have suspenders attached to the belt and pretty much impossible underway. That was the only reason I wore "unauthorized" suspenders on my gun belt in the Coast Guard. Trying to piss off the side of a rocking and rolling boat is bad enough.-WW

The fly method is good and all, except when you really need to go, and the shirt (usually a button down dress shirt) gets in the way and confuses things. I've also got an oversize pair of boxers, which I sometimes put on backwards and you'd never even know, except that you are in the critical pee countdown phase ...like three... two... one... ignition.... and finding the hole is a no-go. It's like the rocket engines are igniting, but the rocket release launch supports have not let go of the rocket yet.

Something like that.

This sounds like a large number of interconnected system failures. Back to the drawing board...

First of all, the zipper was NOT made so you can pee out of it without taking your belt/top button off of your pants. (Seen any women's pants lately?) Not sure who the lazy slob was that first started doing it that way. Ha ha.. I have tried many times and it just wont work right that way. End up getting it all over me. And no, my pants never leave their position on my body.. Yes, it seems to take longer to tuck shirts/etc back in to place, but I always ended up taking everything loose if I try to not do it because everything gets bunched up.. lol.

And WOW, YES, I would LOVE to punch every MFer in the face who doesnt lift the seat to pee!

I only use the zipper hole during weasel skin weather.

Are you related to the Beddor family?

What’s the problem? I use the zipper fly all the time, even in cold weather. Just gotta find the little acorn sometimes.

A guy at work zipped his unit one time EMT came and took him away. If Leroy wasn’t so ****ing big, he would caught he’ll for it.

If you lift the lid after you let one skid,
It won't be wet when you gotta set....

While I'm not surprised this question came up, Vash always has an usual question, I cannot believe that there are grown men out there that have not used the zipper for its most useful purpose...

And then there are those that can't manage to deal with a zipper and underwear, or a zipper and a tucked in shirt.

I am afraid for you.

I take it you assume it was his name own.

Yes. My cousins.

Tommy John Underwear + mens jeans, dress pants or whatever has a zipper = why was this not done sooner?

I always thought the zipper was for your girl(s). You know, while in an elevator, subway car, adjacent airplane seat, stop light, etc.

Several years ago my wife worked for an older executive who was prone to fits of rage which would often result in peed pants. He would just carry on like nothing happened. She got out of there pretty quickly.

If you have ever done janitorial work in a public restroom, you'll find that women also do not use the seat.

Also in some cultures the whole idea of a seat is alien, Turkish toilet.

You can tell when someone used to Turkish toilets had diarrhea. There are clean feet marks on the seat that don't have brown.

I tend to find that it is when corporate groups of the suit and tie variety are in a place, that set of people are the worst about urinating on toilet seats(Excluding the obvious turkish toilet style dive bombs).

I think it is because they consider their own time more important than whoever has to clean up after them.

I find that the three button shirt and collar tend to be the neatest.

Just observations from convention centers rather than actual corporate headquarters.

I tried once but MAN do those things seal up tight! Next time I'll try unzipping first.

I’d have to find some pants with a big enough zipper opening first.....