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least common denominator
 
scottmandue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: San Pedro,CA
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Legal question about the big D and spousal/child support

Back story, wife separated from hubby for a year then got a divorce around 8-9 years ago.
Long story short he fulfilled his legal financial obligations.
Wife signed off on the court legal paperwork that all payments were made and the deal is done.

Now my wife gets an email from her X hubby's wife stating they are buying a home and requesting my wife sign additional paperwork stating she (and daughter) have been paid in full.

My wife suspects the X lost his copy of the court paperwork and that is what this is for.

My wife contacted a lawyer friend and he said something like "it would be a nice gesture bit probably not required"

As you can imaging this is a chapter of her life she would like to put behind her and so she is somewhat upset about being approached about the matter... especially being approached by the X's wife and not by the X.

On one hand having bought two house and done a couple refi's I know banks can sometimes come up with some wacky requirements.

On the other hand the court paperwork was all done and signed and we can't see any need for additional paperwork.

What say ye PPOT?

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Old 10-14-2016, 01:03 PM
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If there's no skin off her back, sign it and move on. Why make life difficult for them? She has nothing to gain. Not a lawyer here.
Old 10-14-2016, 01:06 PM
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The Unsettler
 
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Be the bigger person.

Sign the papers.

Move on with life.

Never know when you may need the X to do you a solid.
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:07 PM
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The Unsettler
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by look 171 View Post
I...Why make life difficult for them?...
Agreed.

This is just my opinion,while she certainly has no obligation and owes the X nothing intentionally not doing something that will take her a minute seems vindictive.

Even if it's not, it will be perceived that way.
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:09 PM
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canna change law physics
 
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Why not simply make a copy of the documents and forward them? She won't need to sign anything.

I'm not sure why there is a problem. If after 10 years, unless there was continuing drama, I don't understand why she has an issue.

Sometime after out divorce, my ex-wife needed her resume. I checked, and I still has a copy on my computer. I sent it to her. Big deal.
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:12 PM
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You do not have permissi
 
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Even with official 'divorce and separation', credit cards and mortgages may remain on both names.
There was a past thread on this I think.
Old 10-14-2016, 01:13 PM
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Be a good bro, ask her to sign. Wish them well in their new life and move on.
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:17 PM
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It's better to purge negative people from your life. Sign the paper with the understanding that they don't call again.
Old 10-14-2016, 01:24 PM
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Why doesn't the X call the court and request a copy. Easy peasy.
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:31 PM
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canna change law physics
 
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Or his lawyer?
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:31 PM
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Did the X cheat on her when they were married? That's the way most women think...
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:56 PM
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The Unsettler
 
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With mortgages there is a time limit for paperwork to be completed and things like rate locks to consider.

X was probably advised the quickest way to get the docs was for OPs wife to sign.

Who knows how long getting it from the courts could take.

Could be minutes, days, weeks.
Old 10-14-2016, 02:09 PM
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Un Chien Andalusia
 
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I've had to ask my ex-wife for similar documentation.

When I applied for my citizenship I needed a letter from her to the effect that I'd always paid child support on time and I was current with my payments. I've done similar things for her too. On the other hand, we still have frequent and civil communication back and forth. Oh, and I asked her for the letter, not my current wife.

Not a big deal - do it and move on.
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Old 10-14-2016, 02:20 PM
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Old 10-14-2016, 02:26 PM
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least common denominator
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by red-beard View Post
Why not simply make a copy of the documents and forward them? She won't need to sign anything.
That is exactly what she is doing...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Danimal16 View Post
Why doesn't the X call the court and request a copy. Easy peasy.
Yes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LakeCleElum View Post
Did the X cheat on her when they were married? That's the way most women think...
No

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerkuld View Post
Oh, and I asked her for the letter, not my current wife.
I think this is what really is pissing her off... that he didn't have the balls to ask himself and had his wife do it.

She is also not too happy that their daughter is in collage and her dad has pretty much been out of contact with her (we had to fly up from Los Angeles to Eugene to help her move into the dorm... her dad lives in Portland)

She will take the high road... eventually... she was contacted yesterday and is still a little hot under the collar.
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Old 10-14-2016, 02:36 PM
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Of all the problems created by divorce, this non-issue would seem to barely register as worthy of a second thought.
Old 10-14-2016, 02:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scottmandue View Post
I think this is what really is pissing her off... that he didn't have the balls to ask himself and had his wife do it.
Could it be possible that he doesn't even know about it?
Maybe be the current wife is handling things and reached out herself because she doesn't want her husband talking with his ex (your wife)? Just a thought...
Old 10-14-2016, 03:10 PM
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Baz Baz is online now
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Not to sidetrack the thread but as a man myself....I've always loathed when men ask their wives to do stuff for them that they should do themselves. Bush league and pretty chicken-chit.
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Old 10-14-2016, 03:18 PM
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least common denominator
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pavulon View Post
Of all the problems created by divorce, this non-issue would seem to barely register as worthy of a second thought.
To the male mind yes... I have never been divorced so I don't know about the emotional impact. I know some people get divorced and stay friends... this doesn't appear to be the case here (I try to stay out of the relations between the two).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eric Coffey View Post
Could it be possible that he doesn't even know about it?
Maybe be the current wife is handling things and reached out herself because she doesn't want her husband talking with his ex (your wife)? Just a thought...
Dunno, there were a certain about of social events he attended (before he met his new girlfriend) High school graduation, ballet recitals, etc.
Although he didn't go to soccer game... in Portland... in the rain... her mom never missed game.

I don't think he is a bad guy, he seems okay (for a Honda mechanic ), however I hardly know him. My wife doesn't speak badly of him. I asked her why they got divorced (before we got married) and she said the fought constantly and she just couldn't take it anymore

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2019 Kia Stinger 2.0t gone
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I am not lost for I know where I am, however where I am is lost. - Winnie the poo.
Old 10-14-2016, 03:29 PM
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