Revenge on Wrong Number Dialer

[bivenator]

I am sitting on the couch watching some World Series when the phone rings. The heavily accented voice on the line asks me if I want ranch or ketchup on the side. Perplexed, I ask him to repeat and after realizing that I have no knowledge that could help this person I inform him that he has dialed the wrong number. I was extremely polite during the entire exchange.

The person then says that I should fornicate myself and that I was a little female dog.

My first instinct was to call back the number and give him some hell. I do think revenge, like Ahi tuna is a dish best served cold. I have saved his number and want to bring the pain in a more creative manner.

What suggestions my Pelican brothers do you have that would cause this person a great deal of inconvenience for his asshat behavior?

832 901-5023

[masraum]

Hah! I had a similar experience a few weeks back. I'm pretty sure it was a couple of little kids pulling prank calls.

The first time they called, I answered, we went through the "hello" thing a couple of times, and I eventually told them they had the wrong number and hung up.

The second call, within a minute of the first sounded like it was from a kid of African-American decent, probably somewhere in the 10-13yo range telling me he was going to beat my arse and a few other choice phrases. I just laughed and laughed and laughed.

Then what sounded like his younger brother called and tried to do something similar, but sounding like he was 7-10, he had much less convition and I think actually apologized at the end.

Then the phone rang and I was bored so I sent the call to VM. The VM that I got was from the younger kid, I think being prompted by the older kid. He tried to pull off like he was the kids mother and was apologizing, but also said "my brother" and at some point started hitting on me. It was pretty funny.

[GH85Carrera]

Back when I was single and in my late 20s I was often out late on Saturday night. It was great to sleep in on Sunday morning in my own house. For several weeks in a row at 6:00 AM some old lady would call me and ask for Martha. I was polite and said that no one named Martha lived here, you have called the wrong number. She would apologize but she had awakened me from a good sleep. That happened three Sunday's in a row.

The fourth time I just blurted out "Martha died" and started sobbing, than hung up. She did not call again. I always wondered if she bumped into Martha at church and was shocked to see her alive. I did not care, I got to sleep in on Sunday morning after a late night of bachelorhood.

[vash]

from now on..everytime you walk past one of those chances for a free car or anything..register him with that number. go with a classic Mike Hunt or something as a name.

get that number on every call list on the planet.

[E38Driver]

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, when you just need to take it out on someone... don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know! Read this guy's experience:

Now get this: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"

Suddenly the phone was slammed down! I couldn't believe anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided
to call it again. When the same person answered again, I yelled, "You're an *******!" and hung up.

Next to his phone number I wrote the word '*******' and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him. He'd answer and I'd yell, "You're an *******!" It always cheered me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me - I would probably have to stop calling the *******. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number. When I heard, "Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone
company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?"

He answered "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an *******!"

The reason I took the time to tell you this story is to show you how, if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it! Just dial 823-4863!!

---------- Keep reading -- it gets better.

An old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally her car began to move, and she started to v-e-r-y slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to maneuver.

"Great," I thought, "she's finally leaving." All of a sudden, a black Mercedes came flying up the parking aisle, going the wrong direction, and pulled into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I was here first!"

The guy climbed out of his Mercedes, completely ignoring me. He walked toward the shopping center as if he hadn't heard me. I thought to myself, "This guy's an *******. There's sure a lot of *******s in this world." Then I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863 and yelling, "You're an *******!" (it's really easy since I have his number on speed dial now). I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black Mercedes laying on my desk and figured I'd better call this guy, too.

After a couple of rings, someone answered the phone and said, "Hello?"
I said, "Is this the guy with the black Mercedes for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out front."
"What's your name?"
"My name's Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes."
"Don, you're an *******!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up, I added Don Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now when I had a problem, I had two *******s to call.

Then, after several months of calling the *******s and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution:

First, I had my phone speed dial ******* number 1. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"
I yelled, "You're an *******!" but I didn't hang up.
The ******* said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "Make me."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
So I told him, "Don Hansen."
He said, "Where do you live?"
I answered, "1802 West 34st Street. It's a yellow house and my black Mercedes is parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, *******!" and I hung up. Then I called ******* number 2.
He answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, *******."
He said, "If I ever find out who you are ..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance ... I'm coming over right now, *******!" And I hung up.

Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as I got home. Then I made another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going on down on West 34th Street.

After that, I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing.

Glorious satisfaction -- watching the two *******s kicking the crap out of each other in front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew was one of the greatest experiences of my life .

The story you have just read is true - but the names have been changed.

[quicksix]

Vash! good to see you back...

[MRM]

Our cabin phone number must have been recycled from someone who used it in the relatively distant past. About once a month we would get a call from someone looking for Alice. The callers were from companies that had done business with Alice and were trying to restart whatever business they had done with her before. Our standard response was to immediately adopt a somber, funereal tone of voice and say, I'm sorry . . . Alice doesn't live here anymore. Most of them got the reference. Eventually the calls stopped.

[quicksix]

Call every car dealer you can think of,tell them you are interested in a(make up make model year) give them a name,that number....call me when you find it..

[bivenator]

good on quicksix those dealers won't stop calling for months,

second the motion to welcome vash back

[Evans, Marv]

I once had a guy call out of the blue in the late 70's telling me he was going to drive by and shoot up my house. I hung up but after a couple more calls calmly told him when he came by & shot at my house I'd ventilate his curly haired head with one of my 9mm's. Never heard from him afterwards.

[Esel Mann]

Originally Posted by bivenator

I am sitting on the couch watching some World Series when the phone rings. The heavily accented voice on the line asks me if I want ranch or ketchup on the side. Perplexed, I ask him to repeat and after realizing that I have no knowledge that could help this person I inform him that he has dialed the wrong number. I was extremely polite during the entire exchange.

The person then says that I should fornicate myself and that I was a little female dog.

My first instinct was to call back the number and give him some hell. I do think revenge, like Ahi tuna is a dish best served cold. I have saved his number and want to bring the pain in a more creative manner.

What suggestions my Pelican brothers do you have that would cause this person a great deal of inconvenience for his asshat behavior?

832 901-5023

Well, first, since it is now personal, for the first act may I suggest we take a poll as to this person's new name. You've gotta have a name in order for the fun to begin. For example, I've always liked using Dill Doe, or Dill Dough....

For the second act, I'll venture a guess *cough* *cough* Mr. Doe, or Mr. Dough or whichever name polls best, is going to be very, very, very busy between answering calls from trying to sell all sorts of items on craigslist to answering calls from personals on craigslist.....

For the third act, Mr. Dough's phone number checks out as a mobile number. It shouldn't be terribly difficult to identify which provider. Once that is known, and using a burner e-mail account, let the texts and Carlos Danger pics via e-mail to Mr. Dough's phone rip.

For the fourth act, should you be in a spending mood, may I suggest taking out for example a bill board ad, or placing an internet banner add with said number as a point of contact.....

No matter what you ultimately decide upon, be sure to have fun! Best wishes to your successful counter of the defective douch-nozzle

[bivenator]

Esel, that is some first rate suggestions. While I don't think it will go to billboard status, the others are definately doable.

Been looking into setting up a wakeup service call for him but you have given me some inspiration.

His voice mail goes to a person called Raven.

[1990C4S]

A fax machine is very easy to program for 'send later', with multiple tries five minutes apart. Just sayin'.

[GH85Carrera]

Right after we moved into our house 20 years ago we got a new phone number. We quickly discovered that the number had been the phone number to a oil and gas company that went bankrupt. We kept getting calls from people looking for the gas company. I was polite on the first call and told the caller that company was no longer in business. If the same person called right back, I just told them they were screwed, the company is bankrupt, don't call again.

One day after about five years of that I called 411 and asked for the number of the company. The information folks gave me my phone number. I said wait, I need to talk to a supervisor. It took a while but I finally explained that they were still giving out my phone number to a defunct company. I heard a lot of keyboard action and she said I was right. Well duh. She said she would turn in a trouble ticket for the number and get them removed from that number.

[Icemaster]

It's amazingly easy to write up a quick dialer script that dials a number then plays a random .wav file, say the hamster dance tune, Rick Astley, or anything from SOD.

Not that I'd know anything about that or have reason to do it.

Back when you still had to pay for long distance, I had some female of certain class level who couldnt get it thru her thick skull that she had the wrong number, every damn time she called. Pre-Caller ID. Last time she called, went full ghetto on her and starting the insult war, She threatened to drive up from Atlanta and discuss the matter face to face. "You're in Atlanta?" Put the phone down on the table and walked away, occasionally picked it back up and fired off another insult when she quieted down every 5-10 minutes. This went on for 2 hours before she finally hung up.

[craigster59]

If it is a mobile number just enlighten him to the complete works of Shakespeare...
Man texts Gumtree fraud entire works of Shakespeare - Telegraph

[asphaltgambler]

Jerky Boys = redux?

[sammyg2]

If you go to a website about new vehicles, edmunds or KBB or any of them, research a vehicle and ask for a quote using his number. The low-life car salemen will NEVER give up.
He'll get calls for every dealer within 25 miles.

They will call and call and call for years, just to show their managers that they are trying.
Just be sure to use a BS e-maill addy/profile or they'll get you too.

I personally know this works.

[bivenator]

So far I signed this dude up to buy a Corvetta, a Corolla and any Ford under 10k.


Under special instructions for the dealer I asked that the cars be ketchup or ranch colors as an homage to the asshatery on the phone.

[dafischer]

TrueCar.com....made the mistake of getting a price on an FJ Cruiser through them. Every Toyota dealer within 50 miles was calling for months.