The Difference Between - Failing and Not Succeeding

[McLovin]

Originally Posted by tabs

Fact of life is that at the end of our day in the sun we die. So what in between becomes most important, wealth, fame, position and power? I would like to see anyone take it with them? Most I imagine at the end would trade it all to just enjoy having a glass of water.

I came to this ^^^ conclusion when I was 20 years old. So what becomes important in the face of it all. Our capacity to love and show kindness to others, for there go I.*

It's the Truth.

But it's not something you came up with, or is hard to discover.

It, of course, is straight out of the Bible.

[EMJ]

Guys with stiletto fetishes don't scare me.

Good luck, OP. Do what you're good at and makes you happy. If not the current gig, get another one.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by wayner

I'm a really ****ty cook.

I've always been a ****ty cook, even though in high school I was paid to be a cook

I could take cooking lessons but I would still be a ****ty cook.

I'm not going to improve my cooking, I'm going with my strengths and making more than enough money to pay somebody else to cook. Cooking slows me down and even I became the best cook I could be, you wouldn't want to eat it, so cooking is off my list of things to improve. In fact there are many things that I'm not going to try to get any better at because it wouldn't make much of a difference and I would still struggle,to do those things well. I've accepted that.

Too many people try to be the best at things they are not suited for. Find your fit.

This is a case of internal interest and life circumstance which doesn't make cooking a good fit for you. You could be a journeyman cook as it is a learned skill, but to have the touch requires a love for and being in an environment conducive to becoming a talented..or artistic cook if you will...having that certain knack.

I like to cook and cook well, I like to do it (that is the internal)..my Dad always said he would like to have cooked better, he had a BS degree in Chemistry being interested since boyhood. What does a Chemist do but mix chemicals together to achieve a desired result, what does a cook do but mix foods (ingredients) together to achieve a tasty food. The external lifes circumstance for me is that my Dad mixed things together to get a desired result. My way of being a Chemist is by being a cook. Different genres but essentially the same process is at work.

The other factor is that my Dad had an analytic ability which he applied in a quantitative scientific fashion. I have applied the same learned through him analytic ability to the qualitative ability to discern personality and the human dynamic. In my own way I have made human behavior into a science. It is all process and mechanism an equation if you will.

Here chaos is a constant variable, but once you can see through that haze People become very predictable,

[Seahawk]

I love these threads, "''cause they give you an insight into your inner self.
Have mercy!" (Thanks Maurice, EW&F).

One of the guys I admire the most retired from the Navy as a CDR and decided to go to work at a job that gave him the utmost flexibility to live a life of exploration and family. Even on active duty he took himself off the fast track and took jobs overseas so is four children could experience life living in Italy and France.

His kids are all great. His three boys all went to the Naval Academy - two are pilots an the third was sent to get his master in aerospace engineering prior to fight school. His daughter works for non-profits in DC and married one of the best young men I know.

They were all over on Thanksgiving and we, as we do annually, put down the nascent clay pigeon rebellion.

While I love him, his wife and his kids, his deal ain't mine: I don't vacay well, never have, never will. I like busy and I like to wake up and be a little nervous on how the enterprise I run is going to do. I like to make things and help change the way commercial and DoD use of drones will go.

The point is none of us know what drives the next person: Wealth, family, security, art, the itch that can't be scratched, etc.

So, to the OP: I have read your posts for many years and have come to admire your perspective. At 57 and moving up the chain in a part of the world you love living in, what are you thinking of chasing that would make you happy?

Start there.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by McLovin

It's the Truth.

But it's not something you came up with, or is hard to discover.

It, of course, is straight out of the Bible.

Of course it is not original..I have since I was 20 quoted as being my motto, "What does it gain a man to gain the world only to lose his soul."

But I once did have that epiphany on the road to Damascus.

[MT930]

[tabs]

Originally Posted by Seahawk

I love these threads, "''cause they give you an insight into your inner self.
Have mercy!" (Thanks Maurice, EW&F).

One of the guys I admire the most retired from the Navy as a CDR and decided to go to work at a job that gave him the utmost flexibility to live a life of exploration and family. Even on active duty he took himself off the fast track and took jobs overseas so is four children could experience life living in Italy and France.

His kids are all great. His three boys all went to the Naval Academy - two are pilots an the third was sent to get his master in aerospace engineering prior to fight school. His daughter works for non-profits in DC and married one of the best young men I know.

They were all over on Thanksgiving and we, as we do annually, put down the nascent clay pigeon rebellion.

While I love him, his wife and his kids, his deal ain't mine: I don't vacay well, never have, never will. I like busy and I like to wake up and be a little nervous on how the enterprise I run is going to do. I like to make things and help change the way commercial and DoD use of drones will go.

The point is none of us know what drives the next person: Wealth, family, security, art, the itch that can't be scratched, etc.

So, to the OP: I have read your posts for many years and have come to admire your perspective. At 57 and moving up the chain in a part of the world you love living in, what are you thinking of chasing that would make you happy?

Start there.

Clear away the haze and you can figure it out....you just have to pay attention to the detail (facts) and know what your own perceptional bias is and weigh that out of the equation. The trick is knowing what your own bias's are? That means you have to unravel them. That requires thought, self examination and time...

For example for BO it is not being President, he does not like the job, bringing change is only a means to his real goal of being a Great President like Lincoln or Jefferson or Washington in history...His face on MT Rushmore is more important to him than having power or money.

Bill Clinton & HRC...it isn't the money it is having power and being the center of attention. Money is just a facilitator for them, they jones for power...of being at the center of the action.

Trump is a doer a builder, lets start a project and accomplish the task of getting er done. Fixing America is his new project. Pride of accomplishment...is what he basks in.

Clear away the purple haze and it is all to behold before you.

[wayner]

Tabs, I get the whole transferable skill set and process thinking thing. It's huge and more people need to leverage those.

What I am talking about is I guess the formulas and specific equation.

The first half of my life I spent trying to learn to do everything well. With time running out, I'm now focussing the second half of my life leveraging what I do really well.

I will die imperfect. I can live with that.

[tabs]

Originally Posted by MT930

Great platitudes..the trick is to apply it...

[widgeon13]

What's the difference?

Attitude!

[tabs]

Originally Posted by widgeon13

What's the difference?

Attitude!

Pray tell me what "attitude" is? And how do we pick a good one?

[sugarwood]

The missing link is that OP never identified what his goal was.

Is it to work in IT ?
Is it to have a stable county job?
What do you want?
Why have you failed?

It sounds like you're doing a young man's role (mechanic) at an old age, nearing retirement age.
This was due to having to reset a few times due to economic shocks.

Maybe the county job would be fine, but in a different, more age appropriate role?



Also, I'd like to know how OP scored a mechanic job in his mid 50s.
Did you have any experience? I am assuming you were in sales at the BMW shop?

[asphaltgambler]

Ok - I think this is going off the rails a bit.............................

My question to all here is not what I should do with my career or advice thereof, but more philosophical. As in thinking to yourself; you have or had a major goal be it professional or personal but on some level you did not fully attain it. Say in actuality you pursued every avenue, did your best but your goal was not realized.

Is that failure (still) or just not succeeding?

[LEAKYSEALS951]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

Is that failure (still) or just not succeeding?

At the end of the day- That's your call.

I often think the same things, but alway come to the same conclusion- Had I done 'that' instead of 'this', I would have sacrificed something else. When I analytically look at other paths, there are always the "grass is always greener" pro's I wish I had of taken, however, upon deeper reflection, the cons were there all along, and like a minefield, I was unwilling (and many of time for good reason) to go trapesing(sp?) through them. So (for better or worse) here I am.

my own daily affirmations with Stuart Smalley:

[tabs]

There are a lot of people on this Board who have had ambitiously high expectations only to realize that time has slipped by and they will not attain those IDEALIZED goals.

Some have said it is talent, hard work and that external factor of having luck that has made the diff. Luck can be said to be at the right place at the right time, or to have met the right person at a propitious time.

Steve Martin said something that always stuck with me...."If you are good you will be found."

It also maybe that it doesn't work out the way that you think it should. But that thought is above my pay grade.

[sugarwood]

Steve Martin also dropped out of college to grind the comedy club circuit. He wasn't "found", rather, he marketed the hell out of himself until someone noticed. His girlfriend sent his material to the Smother's show, his big break

[Por_sha911]

The real test is to have your burning within you desire to do and have more
and
the patience to enjoy what there is now to enjoy.

That said, remember that He who dies with the most toys IS STILL DEAD.
You won't ever find someone on their deathbed saying "I wish I had worked more hours and made more money".

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". I want to enjoy my life now and invest in my eternity future after this one.

[DanielDudley]

If you fall down six times, get up seven. If you do that, you have not failed. After that, it's not about having what you want as much as it is being happy with what you have.

If you are racing, and your car is sliding off the road and into a guard rail, if you focus on the guard rail, you will hit it. However, if you focus on the exit of the corner, and the road ahead, All of your mind and body will work together to get you there.

What are you looking at today, the road ahead, or the guard rail ? BTW, if you are going through a difficult corner, and you start looking in the rear view mirror, you will spin out.

Keep looking forward.

[fintstone]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

Ok - I think this is going off the rails a bit.............................

My question to all here is not what I should do with my career or advice thereof, but more philosophical. As in thinking to yourself; you have or had a major goal be it professional or personal but on some level you did not fully attain it. Say in actuality you pursued every avenue, did your best but your goal was not realized.

Is that failure (still) or just not succeeding?

I have attained all the goals I had when entering the workforce (by a huge amount)...as far as my work, finances, marriage, etc. but as you achieve them, you usually make higher ones as far as money/work...all the way to retirement. While I far exceeded my 20's goals, I will likely not achieve all the ones I made at 50...as the yardstick has moved. I find it disappointing, but I will not quite get there on a couple current goals. Even that is hard to reconcile for me. Obviously, for most, I can keep on working (until I am 80) and will make a lot more money and achieve more...but, not sure that will make me any more happy than simply moving on to something else in life.

Maybe your goals are just higher than a lot of folks. I know my expectations were pretty low when I was a young man as far as employment/finances (as I felt those did not define me...and came from a poor family) and high as far as relationships (marriage/love life, etc.). Those have switched somewhat (although my primary relationship, marriage, has thrived) and I wonder if there is a better balance with friends/family and work.

What is really important to you?

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by asphaltgambler

You have or had a major goal be it professional or personal but on some level you did not fully attain it. Say in actuality you pursued every avenue, did your best but your goal was not realized.

Is that failure (still) or just not succeeding?

I've given a lot of thought to that. It's hard for me to relate. My philosophy is that life isn't a game to win or lose, it just IS. On those occasions when I did my best and it didn't work out I just moved on to the next thing. Seldom gave it a second thought. I guess success is moving on with a spring in your step. Failure is dwelling on it not working out.