You guys have any nutty friends ?

[fastfredracing]

I've had a few. Nature has taken care of a couple also.
I have this one guy that was hands down my best buddy for 11 th 12th, grade, and up through my mid 20's. He morphed into a hard drinker, and started to be difficult to be around anymore.
He moved away, and we lost touch, but now with FB, wowzers!!. I see he has been riding the crazy train full steam ahead for a long time . Other friends have visited him, and said that " that guy is high"
Last night, he made comments about killing himself to his daugthers, and other family members . I sort of want to reach out to him, but, in our last conversation, he told me that I am an "enemy of the state" a facist, and an enemy to him . We have not spoke or messaged since June . Fwiw, I never talk politics with anyone anymore, and he is just assuming this stuff .
This guy is far enough away that I do not have to interact with him if I don't want to , but it would be sad to hear that he ate a bullet hating me, thinking that I hate him.
You guys have any still in your life ?

[fastfredracing]

Besides Speeder .

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by fastfredracing

Besides Speeder .

Made me laugh...and I know Denis. He is a good guy

As far as your friend...let it go: Nothing can be done by you that will make a difference; you may, in fact, cause more harm than good. Guys like your buddy are random thought generators that care only about themselves.

If he reaches out, or there is an organized intervention that you are asked to be a part of, then get involved in a very proscribed, careful manner if it makes sense.

MHO.

[recycled sixtie]

I would hazard a guess that you are not the only one he has issues with. If he does away with himself you might feel that you could have done something. However reaching out to him may be hard emotionally.

My advice would be to get him professional help/counselling to get him pointed in the right direction. He may accept the help or he may not but at least you can say you tried.

[GH85Carrera]

I have several friends that are goofy and funny, and I think they are "different" but none that I would say need to see a head shrinker.

[Eric 951]

There are obviously reasons you grew apart--would it be better to maintain the status-quo and let sleeping dogs lie or re-connect with him and become a target of his anger/hostility?

[Evans, Marv]

What Paul said as far as letting it go. You haven't had any real contact with him in a significant period of time. Your perceived importance and influence on him are not realistic and would just further cloud his situation for him and possibly draw you into the situation in a way not beneficial to him or you. I learned long ago people change as life goes on, and even if they are a good friend, you have to go with the flow. That includes not having anything to do with them if the situation warrants it. You are a very minor player if anything in his thoughts. Let him, his family, and those near him try to help. I always admire and applaud your sensitivity to others, but sometimes things like that can get in the way rather than help.

[fintstone]

The only true crazies that I know post here. That said, I would stop viewing his Facebook now. Don't be tempted to become part of crazyworld...it is like a bad PARF argument, no matter how crazy their comment/post is, once you enter...you keep getting drawn back in.

Don't you have enough crazy relatives, wife or kids that you already have to be nice to and put up with their drama?

[recycled sixtie]

Fred if you go with the majority of what Pelican members say then that is likely the best route.
For myself I wade into sheet more often than I need to. But that is the way I am.

[Seahawk]

Originally Posted by recycled sixtie

Fred if you go with the majority of what Pelican members say then that is likely the best route.
For myself I wade into sheet more often than I need to. But that is the way I am.

The comments he made to his daughters about killing himself was the deal breaker for me...but we could ALL be wrong!

[asphaltgambler]

Yes........a lot really but I'm 57 and have met and known many people from just about every background throughout my life. 1 long time friend (younger) has morphed into full blown opiate addict who sleeps all day and sits in his garage at night (presumably) high. He has a great wife, teenage daughter.

The 2nd friend who recently turned 71, has a life-long problem with booze and is now starting to lose his memory. I told my wife - we really need to find new quality friends..........

[asphaltgambler]

Also qualifying my above post, I currently know a h3ll of a lot people, friendship is something altogether another level.......

[masraum]

Nope. I've always only had a few close friends at a time, and don't normally have a big realm of acquaintances. I moved around a lot when I was younger. I've now been in Houston for about 22 years. I've had some crazy acquaintances here, but don't have any problem moving on. Hell, I'm not real good at keeping up with my close friends if I don't see them at work regularly. I probably had some through HS and college, but don't have any idea where they are or what they are doing now. I would say that moving around as a youngster (Dad was in the Navy) is what did it, but I think it's just the way that I am.

[GWN7]

You can't make people like you. If he has decided that you are no longer his friend there is nothing for you to do. The same if he decides to end his life.

As it appears you can contact him electronically? Send him the Suicide Prevention Hotline number ◦1-800-273-8255 and tell him if he wants to talk to you, you are available to talk to him 24/7. Tell him your concerned for him due to recent comments he made to family members.

All you can do is reach out. It's up to them to reach back.

And yes, all my friends are nuts.

[stomachmonkey]

Sounds cold but I'd have to just let it all go.

There are certainly people closer to him in his life.

If they are unable to help him help himself it's highly unlikely you'll make a bit of a difference.

Probably the same odds as you actually making things worse.

I have a close freind who I do care about and speak to regularly.

All his problems are of his own making and I stopped letting myself get dragged into his self induced drama a long time ago.

[legion]

Yeah, I've written on here extensively about a middle school/high school friend Bob. I actively tried to ease him out of my life a few times (starting in high school). Successfully did it 12 years ago (more on that below). Some highlights from 1993-2004:

Bob frequently "forgets his wallet" after inviting me out to dinner, a movie, a bar, to play pool, etc...

Bob is fired from 38 jobs over the course of high school.

After 5 years, Bob drops out of high school. (He does eventually earn his GED.)

I get Bob a job on my painting crew when I'm in college. He shows up drunk, high, and I frequently find him sleeping on the job.

Bob and I go to a Phish concert at Alpine Valley. Bob takes several hits of LSD, decides they aren't working, and takes several more. He then runs screaming from me never to be seen again. I wait for him after the concert, then decided to leave after waiting several hours. He calls me at 5 a.m. from Milwaukee, where he has woken up in a ditch on the side of the interstate with only his shorts (no shirt, no shoes, no wallet, no underwear). I tell him he can call his dad and explain what happened.

Bob gets kicked out of a community college in Tyler, Texas for drug possession. Rather than appear at his court date, he skips town and flees back to Illinois.

Bob calls me up and asks to borrow $500 dollars for chef school. And another $200 for books. And if I can drive him to class. We live 150 miles apart at this point.

Bob calls me up and asks to borrow $2,000 for photography school.

Bob admonishes me for not making him best man at my bachelor party. I tell him I couldn't depend on him to show up.

Bob's wedding gift, a check, bounces.

Bob moves to Florida where he is a mortgage broker at the height of the housing bubble.

Bob knocks up his girlfriend in Florida. He makes mentions of a wedding. I never see an invite (and I'm okay with that.)

I get a debt collection notice, at my house, for Bob's (long) overdue student loans from community college (see above). Bob apparently gave them my address to throw them off his trail. I call up the collection agency and tell them that Bob has never, ever, ever lived with me. I also give them his current phone number and address. They never call me again.

It's at this point that I stop talking to Bob completely. I refuse his phone calls. He leaves me an 8-minute voicemail that begins with: "Chris, you owe me an explanation...." I delete it and don't listen to it. For the next three years, I get phone calls from tons of seemingly random phone numbers, but most of them I research and can tie to him in some way. (His sister lives in that town, his dad works at the company that owns the phone number, etc.)

About two years ago, at my last job, when I had absolutely nothing to do for 8 months, and I could literally think of nothing else to do with my time, I google stalked some old acquaintances to see what they were up to. I saw that he was married, with two kids, and lives in an apartment in Chicago.

I'm still pretty sure he still tries to call me on occasion.

[Geronimo '74]

I don't, but all of my friends do...

[Charles Freeborn]

Most all of my nutty friends own air-cooled's.....
We have / had (in jail now) a neighbor about 5 doors down that went off the rails - claiming that the Russian mafia was tracking her (devices on her car,etc etc)... she explained all this to her next door neighbor one day while holding a gun... they finally hauled her off after an assault charge from her husband... They've lived on the street for several years. Can't say she was a friend, but certainly a friendly neighbor... things just fell apart.
Don't mistake "nutty" for mental health disorder - as for some of the stories above - you can't help or fault someone with real problems that doesn't want your help. No guilt there, it's not your fault - it's medical.

[asphaltgambler]

My wife and I have "0" social media accounts........on purpose. Other than 2 other car related forums ( me) - Pinterest for her. While its fun to rememnice - we have no interest in old 'friends' contacting us now.

[Rick Lee]

I recently had a friend break up with me and he lives around the corner and we have a ton of mutual friends. We had only been friend for about 2-3 yrs., but had been moving around in the same local musician circles for thelast five or so. This guy has three houses, two kids, a wife, a dog and a full time job, but somehow has hours and hours a day to call me and/or hang out. Every single phone conversation, which was almost daily, ended with, "Hey, if you're not busy, wanna hang out tonight? Come on over." I really got tired of always having to turn him down. And when I did go over there, he was often on the phone and always had some mindless game or reality tv show on. I probably talked with his wife and kids more than him when I was there. He finally lost it on me when I didn't call him back for a few days, knowing it'd be a long conversation about nothing and would end with my having to decline another invite to hang out. He got so mad, he hung up on me and that was the last I've heard of him. But at least he hasn't unfriended me on FB yet.