How do you ask?

[wdfifteen]

How do you ask someone what their heritage or nationality or whatever is?
I'm curious when I meet someone with an obvious accent. I want to know what their background is, but I understand it is rude to just say, "Where are you from?"
I guess it's even worse to say, "Y'all ain't from around here are ya?"
So what is the PC way to ask someone about their heritage and/or nationality?

[legion]

"You have a wonderful accent. May I ask where it is from?"

[id10t]

Just ask, couch it in terms of curiosity or interest, just the way you phrased it. "I've never heard an accent like yours before - where did you learn to speak English?"

[Rikao4]

rude..seriously..
I can't place your accent..
where are you from...

friend of mine went to English schools..
sounds like Lord Mountbatten..
as dark as a moonless night..
and out of some even darker place in Africa..

Rika

[Deschodt]

In Rika's case it's not accent, it's " I can't place your writing pattern, where did you learn to write in Haiku" ? (all in good humor ;-)

I think the accent question is fair, if they can't place it, you're probably doing a reasonable job at speaking english. Bad accents are somewhat more obvious...

[Jim Richards]

I think the best approach is almost like what legion suggested. "I love your accent." If the other person wants to tell you where they are from, let them initiate that part of the discussion.

[Otter74]

legion's suggestion is the best one. I think "where did you learn to speak English?" is not necessarily appropriate because it implies that English is not a native language of the speaker, which is not necessarily the case even when you think it might be. (E.g. one of my best friends is from Bangalore and English is actually her first language, ahead of Kanada and Hindi.) I find "where are you from?" to be a problematic question; I could give at least three possible answers to that question. One of the most unusual accents I've heard (in English) was from a woman from Barcelona whose parents were from Jackson, TN - it was a mix of Spanish-accented English and west Tennessee English.

[unclebilly]

On the ski lift, when I hear a British accent I generally ask what part of Texas they are from. I then pretend to have never heard of England or the United Kingdom...

It a pretty fun game.

I had a District Attorney from DC one time absolutely gob smacked that I had never heard of Washington, DC. I asked him if it was near Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan... He thought he was pretty important.

[RKDinOKC]

You talk funny. Where'd you pick that up?

WARNING: I tend to talk to people like they are real people and not hypersensitive narcissist.

[legion]

Originally Posted by peteremsley

I get asked where I'm from all the time. Never considered it rude, not would think it rude to ask the same question of another.

Yep, most people from outside the U.S. have not been conditioned to be offended by simple curiosity.

[wdfifteen]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

On the ski lift, when I hear a British accent I generally ask what part of Texas they are from.

I like it!

I'm a little leary of talking about accents because my Danish ex-girlfriend was very sensitive about her accent. She insisted she didn't have one, and her speech was very clear, but she would say things like, "Build a fire in the wooden stove."

I was in Denmark with her family once, at a table with about 8 people and 3 English speakers. They got into a discussion about language and ask me if i didn't think Dutch was the ugliest language. I said it sounded just like Danish to me. MY GOD were they pissed! You would have thought I had stabbed Queen Margrethe!

[id10t]

Originally Posted by wdfifteen

I like it!

I'm a little leary of talking about accents because my Danish ex-girlfriend was very sensitive about her accent. She insisted she didn't have one, and her speech was very clear, but she would say things like, "Build a fire in the wooden stove."

I was in Denmark with her family once, at a table with about 8 people and 3 English speakers. They got into a discussion about language and ask me if i didn't think Dutch was the ugliest language. I said it sounded just like Danish to me. MY GOD were they pissed! You would have thought I had stabbed Queen Margrethe!

My wife grew up in Purto Rico and thinks in spanish and sometimes does a verbatim translation of the words not the meaning to English. "Go move the beans". So I go to the stove, move the pot of beans off the burner, turn off the burner, sit back down. She really meant "go stir the beans" ...

[vash]

i think just ask. i've never thought it was rude.

i get it all the time.
"what's your ethnicity?"

better than:
"hey, you Filipino?"

you could riff off the guys name..for example:

"hmm..O'Leary? hey you Filipino?"

[Bill Douglas]

I usually say "cool accent, where are you originally from?"

Then take an interest in the country, or practice my German/Italian/Dutch on them LOL

A friend of mine is from Venice Italy and when he gets asked "Where are you from" he replies "See that hill over there and the large white house...."

[ckelly78z]

I deal with many Japenese in my work (at a Japenese owned, American company). They do not (don't) use contractions in any speech scenario....it takes some getting used to.

[Evans, Marv]

I just say I like their accent and ask them what their ethnic background is.

[Bill Douglas]

A couple of weeks ago there was a very pretty waitress with a light accent and it turned out she was German. I was slightly flirting with her and speaking everything in German to her for the rest of the evening. Then she laughed and said "I think you are going to have to read the book before you come back here next time."

[vash]

we dont all have accents.

[Bill Douglas]

Everyone but New Zealanders.

[stomachmonkey]

Originally Posted by unclebilly

On the ski lift.....

I used to do the "Man this is awesome to finally be able to ski again, it's been so long, just could not do it where I've been the last 10 years"

Which would usually elicit a "where were you?".

Prison, attempted murder, tried to push a random stranger off a ledge.